Public School - Am I out of line?

To start I would like to say that I am of the opinion that I am not obligated to justify myself and my decisions to anyone in the public school system and very rarely will I, unless I feel that it is prudent to do so. Especially with the bigger issues regarding public schools and the governance of such systems.

My child rides the bus to and from school. There are times I allow and sometimes it is necessary for my child to get off at another bus stop other than the one that is "assigned". Every time this happens my child gets a discipline referral, when as far as I am concerned is on me, not my child. Now, I do not always have time to call the school or write a note to inform these people of my intentions.

Yes, I understand the rules that are spelled out by the school board, but these rules sometimes restrict my abilities to do what I need to do. How far out of line would I be if at all, by telling these people I am not obligated to inform them of my intentions. Basically, I want to tell them that this is my situation and the cards that I am dealt and I am adapting to my situation. I am doing what have to do, in turn, they can do what they have to do whatever that may be but I will continue doing this.

In this case I am having difficulties in determining what approach is the one I need to take. Is this a case where the school is actually right this time or is it another case of extending authority and control into my life and my parenting style. Considering the state of affairs our education system is in, I think they have bigger things to worry about other than what bus stop a kid is getting off.

This is not intended to sound harsh. But I have one word for you and your son.
Discipline. Try it. It works wonders.


But as far as the school, I would keep them informed. If not immediate, then sooner rather than latter. Some administrators in the school are on a high horse and think they are god.

reply to post by kellynap43


His discipline is not an issue. After all, he is doing what I tell him to do by getting off at another stop.

can't you write a sort of letter stating that you give permission and have it on permanent file?

reply to post by Maxatoria


Nope, a call or note has to be sent each and every time.

However, I have contemplated writing a letter anyway informing them that this is the case and what I will be doing. Just so it is on file and that it cannot be said I did not inform them, whether they agree or not.

reply to post by Skewed


You're screwed. Sorry.

It's "policy" and if you dare defy the policy in the name of common sense or convenience, you put the entire public school system "at risk". You know "We are responsible and liable blah blah blah"

The public school system is BEYOND broken. It's all just politics and prison in there. Your kid isn't even learning anything useful, honestly.

Double post

I had this same problem when my sons were in school. If your son is being dropped off at another stop that is already on the bus route, they should not be giving you any hassles at all. They will probably claim it is due to concern for your sons safety, you not knowing where he is, blaming them blah blah blah.
I just wrote a letter stating that if my son was to get off the bus at another stop, I would not hold the bus garage responsible and they finally let it go.

Boy I'm glad they both are out of school now!

reply to post by EmVeeFF


Skewed is screwed, the story of my life.

Preaching to the choir my friend.

And policy is where I get hung up with all of this. A policy is not a law, although certain entities try to make people believe that policy is somehow a law.

reply to post by chiefsmom


I have been thinking on doing this as well. Thankfully, public school for me is nearing its end.

The rules are for the safety of your child.

If they let him off somewhere without your permission.

You would be furious.

Good attitude and writing that note is your answer.

Also, write some extra notes for his or her backpack.

Let your kid write the date in with your permission.

They will also remind you that "riding our bus is a privilege".

Good Luck.

Please take no offense to what I am about to post. I am a single father of three school-age children. I work approximately 75-80 hrs per week and spend "quality time" with my kids daily. I always have enough time to let school bus drivers and school administrators know where my children will be. In fact, because of my busy schedule it is nice to know that others know the what/when/where's regarding my children. A phone call takes 5 minutes at the most. You owe it to you and your children to keep a close eye on them.

There is no disciplinary measure that the school can hand out to you to get their point across...so...unfortunately, through your child, they have gotten their message across. In fact, I believe they accomplished exactly what they wanted to. They got your attention.

Now listen, I very rarely agree with tight constraints on our children sometimes at the hands of of some school admin who has just had a bad day or something. I have stood in front of the school admin. too many times to count. I understand there's a lot to do in the course of a day. BUT, I think this rule is probably for their (your kids) safety as much as it is to cover their butts should something happen.

Just my two cents... no hard feelings.

give your child a dictorphone, get them to record your instrustions everyday when they hear them

You say it once and should the school need the daily proof, your child has it already!

Crazy problems have crazy answers somtimes, so im throwing this one out there!

Originally posted by MightyQuincunx
Please take no offense to what I am about to post. I am a single father of three school-age children. I work approximately 75-80 hrs per week and spend "quality time" with my kids daily. I always have enough time to let school bus drivers and school administrators know where my children will be. In fact, because of my busy schedule it is nice to know that others know the what/when/where's regarding my children. A phone call takes 5 minutes at the most. You owe it to you and your children to keep a close eye on them.

There is no disciplinary measure that the school can hand out to you to get their point across...so...unfortunately, through your child, they have gotten their message across. In fact, I believe they accomplished exactly what they wanted to. They got your attention.

Now listen, I very rarely agree with tight constraints on our children sometimes at the hands of of some school admin who has just had a bad day or something. I have stood in front of the school admin. too many times to count. I understand there's a lot to do in the course of a day. BUT, I think this rule is probably for their (your kids) safety as much as it is to cover their butts should something happen.

Just my two cents... no hard feelings.

No offense taken. I partially agree with you, and in your situation, your decisions are what works best for you and your family. But where I step off your path is I do not see how informing the school of my intentions makes my child any safer, let alone any of their concern. At the end of the day it is me that is ultimately responsible for my child, not the school and they only pick and choose which aspect they want to involve themselves with to suit their needs.

I don't know, I am just very independent and private, I do not need people watching out for my safety out of fear of something that "could" happen.

Originally posted by whyamIhere


Also, write some extra notes for his or her backpack.

Let your kid write the date in with your permission.

I think this may be the route I take. Write a note, copy it several times and let him fill in the blanks.

Probably just copying a note over and over and letting him fill in the blanks would work best. Just be sure to sign the bottom every morning that he needs to get off at a different place that afternoon. You're in that minority that "the system" doesn't work for all the time, and when you're one of those, these school officials tend to go bonkers.

Originally posted by Skewed

Originally posted by whyamIhere


Also, write some extra notes for his or her backpack.

Let your kid write the date in with your permission.

I think this may be the route I take. Write a note, copy it several times and let him fill in the blanks.

photocopy 20-30 forms with perhaps having something like "date : as recieved" and then just sign them in ink and job done for a month or two

Naw I think the schools out of line really. But I"m sure they get so many phone calls from parents who want to absolve themselves of the responsibility of having a child. Many parents rely on the school to babysit their kids for them. The school becomes responsible for where the child is, not the child, not the parent. Its silly. But thats what you gotta work with.

But really, whats the effect of these "disciplinary notes" or whatever? Does he get a detention? Does he get suspended? If they're just silly little notes then let them have their way. If he's gonna get a detention or something for it I'd suggest talking to an adminstrator and clearing things up.

Schools are between a rock and a hard place...or more likely...between government standards and certain jackass parents who stress out principals and teachers. No one can make everyone happy, even schools, so just go clear things up with someone in charge and this silliness should fade away.

reply to post by doctornamtab


Yeah it really sucks for those of us that do accept the responsibility of raising our kids.

You know, now that I think about it, if I were to follow the norm by not taking responsibility, things would probably be so much better. But for who, I am not so sure.

Maybe I'm just being harsh but I think you just sound like you want to stubborn about it. Don't have time for a quick call or write a note?? BS...Write the note the night before...skip the conditioner in the shower. Hell, it takes longer to make coffee!

The school is held responsible for the safety of your child while he is in their custody and if something horrible were to happen they would be held responsible for that and they have EVERY right to cover their behinds...It's not like they have millions to hand out when you sue them for losing your kid. Substitute the word "school" with "babysitter" and maybe you will understand. I'm sure you would tell the babysitter if you needed him to be dropped off at a different place.

I can understand not wanting to tell everyone about everything you do, but this is simply informing the custodians of your child about where their responsibility for your son ends when they drop him off. It's not like they want DNA for God's sake, and if your sense of independence is offended then maybe you should either pick him up after school yourself or pull him altogether and homeschool him so he won't get in trouble.