Marmite!! UK

Here's a recent copy of a letter i sent email to Marmite/Bovril

Dear Marmite.
I'm writing to complain about your slogan "You either love it or hate it" as I don't really have alot else to do and i'm waiting for my tea to cook (it does not contain Marmite) Anyway. After a lifetime of thinking I didn't like Marmite, my fiancé made me try some the other day and quite frankly, I was surprised. "He loves it", I hear you say. Well you'd be wrong! The only way I can describe it is, It's alright!! Now I understand where your slogan is coming from but I feel our palettes are very much used to acquired tastes nowadays, and sadly life has become more complicated with things not just being “black and white” and feel that people don't just "Love" or "Hate" your unique brand. Some may find it Average. Just so I can precisely describe the taste to you, I will now list a choice of words I’d use to describe your unique brand, and mostly 'cause I feel the need to pad this letter out somewhat because my tea is taking slightly longer than expected due to a very poor oven (Hotpoint will be receiving a letter aswell, whilst I eat Ice-cream, Hopefully the freezer is working or I‘ll be here all night)so you may take the time to read it. Notice the constant "waffling" above and repeatedly going over the same points, Again that is what I call "padding the letter out"
Anyway back to words to describe your Unique brand.
Average (Needed repeating)
Ordinary
Regular
Par (My favourite)
Common
Take it or leave it
Mainstream
Now I know this has probably come to a shock to you to realise that 'The people' don't just "Love" or "Hate" your brand, but I have come up with a solution. You can make grateful cheques payable to me but I will suffice for a voucher for a free pot of Marmite....and I may eat it.
I feel you should change your slogan to meet current standards to.
"Marmite- You either love it, or hate it...But Toby thinks its very very on par"
I know. It's fantastic marketing, and its a wonder how I’ve never been picked up by larger companies before.
Your Welcome
Toby "Doesn't love or hate it" V***

P.S Don’t even get me started on Vegemite.

I tried that stuff at camp years ago from a british counselor and I couldn't handle the taste lol!! I was the same with bleu cheese until now so maybe Marmite will be good?

hot melted cheese on toast,grilled cheese on toast,whatever your regional name for this fine quick dish is.it is much improved with a light smear of marmite while it is still hot......if you can handle it,works best with a mature cheddar,not (sorry) tasteless plastic american cheese

reply to post by ShiftyMedi

i bet they didnt read it, for the same reason i didnt.
paragraphs!

I think I love you.

Originally posted by neonitus
reply to post by ShiftyMedi

 

i bet they didnt read it, for the same reason i didnt.
paragraphs!

So you didn't read it but still felt the need to comment negatively.
Hmmmm

Just for the record, This was pasted from my original draft and the copy I sent was paragraph'ed.
Didn't realise I was being marked for this piece of homework, sorry sir, won't happen again.

reply to post by ShiftyMedi


I always have Marmite in the fridge and I don't actually mind the taste, but I never feel compelled to eat it so I guess I'm joining you on the "meh" step.

Damn advertising and their lies