I don't like the "be yourselfers".

Why do people always act like if you just act like yourself you'll do fine? I think people should always stay true to themselves but rather than being just who they are they should add some spice. They should try to be the person that they want to be. If they can't do that than they should be themselves, but, the fact of the matter is that the be-yourselfers assume that the self is a constantly unchanging person, and, the be-who-you-want-to-be people have a point, because if you don't have an idea about where you want to go with your life... you'll just be the same old boring person for a long time. I think the be-yourselfers fail to realize that the reason why the be-yourself advice doesn't work is because the people that try to be themselves FAIL AT IT, so, they should be who they want to be. Then they'd do better.

the fact of the matter is that the be-yourselfers assume that the self is a constantly unchanging person

I don't know alot about this. But, I can tell you that everyone changes. Noone ever stays the same. Hell, the 'me' when I was 18 wouldn't like or be friends with the 'me' I am at 38. I would have thought I am horribly lame lol

reply to post by Frankidealist35


I think the reality is that if you're not being yourself and spicing it up, then you aren't being real. Where you say "add Spice" I say wearing a mask or acting. It isn' the genuine article but a knockoff of the real thing.

Look at all the wanna be thugs. They add some "tough guy spice" to portray some fantasy image that they're really a bad ass gangsta when in reality the majority are nothing but punks.

I say I would rather deal with a genuine person who's boring then some fantasizing douche bag. After all the reason this country is the way it is ....is because everyone is spicing it up and acting the lead role in their play.

And that's why the world is soooo petty. Nobody's REAL anymore.

That phrase is often misinterpreted.

The real one is: Be yourself (unless you are boring).

reply to post by Revealation


You missed the part where I said I stay true to myself. I don't wear any masks. I am who I am. And, I also am who I want to be. What's the point of just staying who you are and acting yourself if you don't ever try to change and do new things? It's not about putting on a mask. It's about trying new things and experimenting. The world is your oyster. I don't consider myself a cold-hearted opportunist, and I believe myself to be a genuine article... but, I don't see why I shouldn't try new things, or, new ways of being. It's not like I'm contradicting myself by acting some way that I would never do... so it's not like I'm betraying myself or anything.

Originally posted by boncho
That phrase is often misinterpreted.

The real one is: Be yourself (unless you are boring).

Heh, why is there always a Boncho in threads like these? *smirk*

Seriously, though, you *should* be yourself.. but not the "yourself" you are now.. You should be the "yourself" you want to grow into.

reply to post by rogerstigers


I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Being the you who you want to be is what matters... you should be what you want to be, do what you want to do, and think how you want to think. Isn't that what matters most?

Only thinking in the present and acting as you are in the present won't necessarily get you very far. I'm very different now than I was 1 year ago, or 2 years ago, or even 4 years ago. We're always changing. There is no static "you" in the be who "you" are, or in being yourself.

I like this idea. And there is obviously a big difference between being fake and just trying to progress as a person.

I'd say an example of the difference between the two would be a comparison between some robotic hipster who has to dress in a specific way and talk in a specific style and say specific things versus an individual who challenges themselves to get over their fears etc.


Just today I did something that was out of character for me by being the first to speak up in a big classroom. I've never liked drawing attention to myself, so doing this was definitely not 'part of my character', but it felt good to do it. Well, maybe that's not true. Doing it didn't feel good at the time because the whole thing intimidated me a bit, but it felt good afterwards because I did it anyway.

reply to post by Frankidealist35

it looks to me that you could really do with updating your view on Being and the Self. You might be pleasantly surprised what you find out there.
youtu.be..." target="_blank" class="postlink" rel="nofollow"> youtu.be...
have a great journey

I've never heard anyone say "Be yourself! but never change!!!"

i assume people would know that you can be yourself while you're growing and changing??

I think you've over thought this topic a little too much.

Nice try though!

Peace! (fingers! lol)

The phrase as I understand it is "Be yourself, but don't get caught."

In the context of "relationships", at my age(52), I think being yourself is being human. I have a friend who started dating again about a year after her hubby passed away. On the 4th date and after a show, they went back to her house for coffee and as they were sitting at the kitchen table, she said, " Oh, to hell with it"...promptly lifted a cheek off the chair and farted. He looked at her and replied, "Thank you SO much", and let out the one he had been holding back half the night. The two of them laughed til they cried.

i think it is very easy to spot someone acting so in my opinion i would be yourself unless you are very very very boring

I'd also have to say I think you've thought too much into it. There isn't anything complicated about just 'being yourself'. How much simpler can it get?

Usually when people say to just be yourself, it means to just act natural, whatever that is to you. Don't get caught up in how others are going to view you, don't try and act in a way that may make you uncomfortable to meet the expectations of those around you. 'Being yourself' can be whatever you want it to be in that moment - so long as it's being true to you. It doesn't mean you have to be the same old, same old all the livelong day every day of your life. It's accepting who you are, however you are, whenever you want to be it, and not worrying about how others might perceive you and trying to work it into your being.

Being what you want to be and being yourself would basically be the same then, no?

reply to post by Frankidealist35


I think you may have taken this out of context, atleast heres my take on it. and yes I am a "be yourselfer".
When it comes down to it, all of us change as we age and learn new things, but that doesnt mean we have to change because someone else says we should.
I am myself, my ideas and feelings change on a constant basis- what be yourself really means to me is that I am who I am, if SOMEONE else doesnt like it thats too bad. Why should I change the way I feel,dress, think, or act because someone else wants me too.
I dont conform, so what. I am an independent thinker, with a thirst for knowledge, and quirky style all my own.
It would be a sad world if we were all made with the same cookie cutter wouldnt it?

Now if you wish me to conform to your way of thinking, beleiving, and acting-your going to be sadly dissapointed. You cant control my mind no matter what you think.

reply to post by Frankidealist35


From this post it certainley sounds as though you are a beyourselfer
2nd line

reply to post by Frankidealist35


That's just it.

The idea isn't to "try" to be anything...simply act as you would in any other situation. That way, you find someone who likes you for you...not for who you are "trying" to be. The idea is to not make it any harder than it is. Relax, and just go with it, see where things go.

That's all the "be yourselfers" mean...

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by Frankidealist35

 

That's just it.

The idea isn't to "try" to be anything...simply act as you would in any other situation. That way, you find someone who likes you for you...not for who you are "trying" to be. The idea is to not make it any harder than it is. Relax, and just go with it, see where things go.

That's all the "be yourselfers" mean...

I think Gazrok nailed it right there

Changing doesnt mean you have to not be who you are, its simply about evolving and bettering ourselves, based on what we want to be, and not who we are expected to be. So, its fine to say be yourself, but it doesnt mean you should restrict self evolution

If someone wants to get into a relationship, telling them to be themselves, is the worst advice you could possibly give them. I lied solidly for six years to maintain my last relationship. I lied in order to get the relationship, and then I lied in order to keep it. Once I decided to stop lying, the relationship ended inside a month.

Nobody in contemporary society wants to know who you are. They want to know whether or not you're going to be someone gratifying and tittilating for them to be around. They want to know whether it's going to improve their social status, to be seen around you. They want to know how much money they can extract from you.

I'm staying celibate. If you don't want to, just remember that sociopathy is your friend, and individuality your worst enemy. You won't get into a rewarding relationship by behaving like that, no; but I stopped believing that truly nourishing relationships were possible, four years ago.