A Little Humor - Bush, Iraq, The War

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5
passengers on board but only 4 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player, the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the
wife of the former US President, a NY State Senator
and a potential future president." So she took the
2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.

The 3rd passenger, George W. Bush, said, "I'm the
president of the United States of America. I have
great responsibility being the leader of a superpower
nation. And I am the cleverest president in American
history, so America's people won't let me die."
So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out
of the plane.

The 4th passenger, the Pope, said to the 5th
passenger, a 10 year old schoolgirl, "I am old and
frail and don't have many years left, and as a
Catholic I will sacrifice my life and let you
have the last parachute."

The girl said, "It's okay, there is a parachute
left for you. America's cleverest president just
took my schoolbag." !!



"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education � anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda � and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." �Jay Leno

"According to military analysts, an invasion of Iraq by U.S. forces could cost between $20 and $50 billion. The Pentagon announced that it would offset those costs by referring to it as the Verizon Wireless/Pizza Hut War Against Iraq." �Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news � they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel." �David Letterman


Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?

A: You shout out, "B-52"

Q: What's the national bird of Iraq?

A: DUCK!

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

A: Turkey.

Iraq TV Guide

Monday
8:00 Husseinfeld.
8:30 Mad About Everything.
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions.
9:30 Allah McBeal.

Tuesday
8:00 Wheel of MisFortune and Terror.
8:30 The Price Is Right if Saddam Says It's Right.
9:00 Children Are Forbidden to Say the Darndest Things.
9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers.

Wednesday
8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer.
8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy.
9:00 Just Shoot Me.
9:30 Veilwatch.

Thursday
8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi.
8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H.
9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses.
9:30 My Two Baghdads.

Friday
8:00 Judge Saddam.
8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things.
9:00 Achmed's Creek.
9:30 Nowitness News.

oh my god. hah.*shakes head with half smile* where did you get that from?

my 2 baghdads.

just shoot me. god im suprised anyone there watches that. noone here does!

HeeHee check these out,

The Donald Rumsfeld Libary of Quotations.

www.dailyprobe.com...


This has nothing to do with the war, but it's funny as.

The T'inator!

Try it on ATS.

This was my favorite...

""In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education � anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda � and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." �Jay Leno"

Priceless....

Good job P.A.
____________________________________________
Be Cool
K_OS

LMAO . Good stuff PA!

US forces attack an Iraqi school today and found enormous amounts of protractors, slide rules,calculators and compasses.
General Tommy Franks said this is at last the proof that Saddam has weapons of Maths instruction !!!

haha

Funny stuff. That parachutte joke was awesome.

webserver.dcci.com...

HAHAHA! PA those were great jokes.

www.bantv.com...

Those links were great to PA . Where do you find this stuff?

WEEKEND IN BAGHDAD !

nm

[Edited on 4-2-2003 by AF1]

Originally posted by kegs
HeeHee check these out,

The Donald Rumsfeld Libary of Quotations.

www.dailyprobe.com...


This has nothing to do with the war, but it's funny as.

The T'inator!

Try it on ATS.

I didn't see the one you were talking about, but this story had me expelling beer through my darned nose! In order to have such a reaction, you must actually visualize the trooper sitting out in the desert with the opened care package at his boots, holding the calender up and thinking "WTF!?!" Hilarious!
"U.S. Soldiers "Kind of Appreciate" Care Package From Peaceniks"

"Like this box of cous cous. Is this some kind of anti-war statement or just included because it wasn't selling at their co-op?"

Good stuff, I need to catch this site more often.

Top Ten Perks Of Being Saddam Hussein's Stepson

10. For your birthday, you get the head of an infidel
9. People never refer to you as "The crazy one in the family"

8. On weekends, you get to bring home weapons of mass destruction

7. Don't want to clean your room? Threaten to tell the United States dad's exact location

6. Play your cards right and in 10 years you'll be torturing the Iraqi people

5. Unique chance to observe a tyrannical madman up close

4. Big inheritance when U.S. troops finally kill your stepfather

3. Father-son bonding over 3am prank calls to U.N. weapons inspectors

2. You can get first pick of the police auction's seized and repossessed camels

1. Get to call Bin Laden "Uncle Osama"

[Edited on 3-4-2003 by HENRY X]

George Bush got this error earlier today.

www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk...