posted on Jul, 1 2011 @ 06:35 PM
reply to post by Xiamara
I am so angry right now........ LOL Just kidding.
I am not one to say I am free of anger, but I have done a lot of work of on being self-consciousness enough to know when I am being stimulated by
thoughts of anger to apply the proper antidote. When we become angry it's always in defense of or validate our self-image. It is a backward attempt to
substantiate oneself by means of force always at the cost of civility. Anger on the internet, I believe is due mainly because it gets to be an open
forum wherein one can take out ones frustrations for fail attempts to assert themselves or acquire the attention they need during their day to day
interactions. Due to the fact that there is great supposed anonymity or a perceived buffer which prevents one-on-one interaction on the internet one
feel free to vent as hard and as much as possible. Unfortunately, this well of anger is inexhaustible. At the heart of the matter is a neglected
psychological component known as attention.
It is said that during infancy lack of attention can lead to maladaptive disorders and biological impediments. Some medical researchers have even gone
as far to show that lack of attention will and does cause premature infants to give up their will to live and thus die. Human beings seemingly by
nature and design are attention seeking individuals. Thus it can be said that attention is a form of psychological nutrition which feeds ones self
consciousness. We, however, don't need to look far to see that just like with certain obese people eating habits the way in which we go about seeking
attention to supply our nutritional needs are not healthy. Anger gets to be an unhealthy form of seeking that generates a lot of amount of attention.
Those who are aware of this are able to perceive that the proper antidote to get such a person to calm down is not ignoring them. This only motivates
them to become even angrier until the proper amount of attention they are driven unconsciously to procure has been achieved. The proper thing is to
provide the attention they want often time not by focusing on why or solving their issues but by simply paying them attention and saying, "I see you
and validate your right to be and think as you are being." Once this action is taken, the angry person seem to deflate like a balloon.
Anger on the internet unlike anger in society is wholly unchecked because there is an endless supply of individuals who will react the way in which
the attention seekers needs in order to fulfill her or his quota for the day of attention without great personal risk. A typical of the personalities
of these individuals are those who have great difficulties in their personal lives to fit in or who feel as if they are being held back from being the
person they wish to be in their household and/or society. This brings to mind a saying I often hear which goes like this:
We HATE WHAT WHAT DOESN'T LOVE US.
This explains why one of the easiest ways to get your foot in the door on the internet or the real world is to tell people you like them or pay them a
Robert Cialdini pointed this out in his book titled Influence. In it he says, "we like those who like us. "
So my suggestion the next time you encounter an angry person in life or on the internet is not to ignore them or own the anger(take it personally).
Instead try to find it in your heart to remember this lesson on attention and apply a bit of compassion and just give the person a hug or in the case
of the internet send them a cyber hug. It is possible to love your way through any situation. Confrontation should always be the last result as it
doesn't really prove you right or change the ideology of the person you are confronting.
Thank you for this great OP.
edit on 1-7-2011 by pranakichi because: (no reason given)