Still curious why all of my relationships fail

I'm male, 22 turning 23 and all I can say is that I've been in like 3 relationships before and every girl that I've been with left me or cheated on me, I really have no idea if I'm just too nice to them or whatever, everyone tells me I'm way too much a nice guy and easily gets taken advantage of, but I really have no idea why this happens, any insight on other people's experiences would be helpful

5 months going strong on my own! =D

reply to post by Leemo


Never be soft, woman don't like soft man.
You gotta be manly and show you are manly.
Just don't look like a dork though lol.

reply to post by Leemo


In my opinion... you just haven't met the right girl yet.

Don't sweat it as you are still in your early 20's and have a good few years left on you yet. Worry about what makes you happy for now and the right one will come along - I promise.

( Insert some kind of great advice here)

In all seriousness though, good luck man.

reply to post by Leemo


Ignore the poster above me who says never to act anything less than the manliest of men, you don't need to be anyone else except yourself.

The only thing it sounds you need is some confidence - the rest comes from there (easier said than done, I know). Three relationships that didn't end well isn't that uncommon for dating, hopefully if you do it more the ratio will start turning around in your favour.

reply to post by foreshadower99


Nonsense. Not all women are the same. Some women like men who are muscular, some like men who are primarily intelligent, some like men for whatever else. And it works both ways.

OP, all you can keep doing is being yourself here! It's cliched advice, I know, but It's by far the best thing for you to do and it's better for a relationship especially in the long run.

I'm in the exact same boat but you've got to take responsibility as I did. These women aren't just the ones at fault, and that's something you've got to address and come to terms with, which is admittedly a very difficult and painful process. Did you ask them why this happened? Remember that your expectations can easily manifest into reality.

If your core belief is that ultimately you're going to be cheated on and mistreated in general. It will more likely than not happen. ''People cheat and disrespect me'' is not a good foundation for healthy experiences.

I hope you make it through this ok.

Peace
- Ellis

First, understand this. Women lie. Sometimes they don't even mean to lie, but they do it anyway. For example, they tell their girl friends "I just want a nice guy to love me". What a load of rubbish. They say that but it is not true. 75% OR MORE OF THEM WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE GARBAGE! Believe it or not, but it is true.

maybe you spend to much time on ATS....

reply to post by sonofliberty1776


Why do people talk about women as if they're a completely different species? Women don't exclusively lie, people do.

Take some time for introspection and find out what you want and who you are...then maybe you'll find what you're looking for...not to mention yourself.

Originally posted by YouDeserveToKnow
reply to post by sonofliberty1776

 

Why do people talk about women as if they're a completely different species? Women don't exclusively lie, people do.

True, all people lie. However women are very different from men. They are "almost" a different species. Having lived with several and been married to one(more than enough of that imo), I can tell you that their thought processes are simply illogical at best. They are often contradictory from one minute to the next. No matter how much you do, it is never "enough".

At 22, don't worry. 3 fails is nothing at that age, believe me. Enjoy the youth and spread the love around.!

All too soon you'll find the right one so the best thing is to remember that you have to get to the bottom of the Cracker Jack box to get the prize. If you open it upside down to get the prize first, the rest is just stale old popcorn.

If they were cheating on you then they're not worth the effort anyway and it's not your fault. A decent girl would atleast break up with you if things weren't working out.

But yeah, like others have said don't change yourself, someone will come along and appreciate your personality as it is.

reply to post by Leemo


young females have their choice of readily available mates. many go through them like Kleenex in a sneeze ward, laughing all the while. i'm an old fart. Listen: most females don't care for the nice guy type. passive wimpy people-pleasers with good manners and good intentions are dull & boring.

surely you've noticed for years all sorts of ladies away with total d-bags, arsewipes, alpha males, macho jerks, you name it. i'm not saying run out and knock old ladies off their walkers. but for gosh sakes man get some pride. stop being a door mat. stop being the "nice guy" that listen to a girl friend (a girl that is only a friend) whine & cry broken-hearted abut yet another failed relationship while thinking "why can't she just realize I'm a good guy, I'm perfect for her?". sucker. girl friends are great...if you're a gay guy.

the sooner you start opening your mouth and speaking your mind, that you stop letting others treat you like a door mat, the better off you will be. i'm no Robert Redford, i didn't come from money, and in my single days i got more tail than i deserved.

speak your mind. doesn't matter if its a stranger. when you see something you like tell her so. i'll compliment women on their shoes, their nails if they are done really cool, a pretty smile, whatever i like. women like to flirt as much as you do, maybe more. relax and enjoy yourself. remember the #1 Rule of Sales: every NO brings you closer to a Yes.

i love women of all sorts: tall, short, long hair or short, chubby, skinny, overweight, age legal on up. women are delicious. if you limit yourself to only eating coconut you'll never know how good it is to have mango juice all over your smiling stupid face. you're young. life is a banquet my friend. you get the hell out there and taste every bit of strange you can. try it and all and then do it again to make sure.

i don't make crude idiot statements to women, there are some ladies that will kick your arse for being a jerk. but i learned a long time ago they can buy their own damn drinks. a lot of them are vain entitled princesses that aren't worth your time. a lot of young ladies are real bitches that enjoy laughing in a guys face. laugh right back and move on. avoiding the crazy ones is a plus.

over the years i've known so many dudes that were near-insane in what they would do to get tail. i remember one guys philosophy: If he went out with a woman and she put out on the first date he would dump her because she's a whore. If she didn't put out on the first date he'd dump her because she wasn't worth his time.

crazy, right? but the point was, that guy elevated himself to a level. he took care of himself, dressed good. he used his self-confidence to level the field and play it like a lot of women do. treat them like Kleenex, treat them like you don't care, and see what happens. attitude goes a long way, baby.

my older brother used a technique of walking up and talking to most every girl in the bar until one went outside with him. there are a lot of sweet young things that like the rocket ride as much as you do, mister. seek and destroy.

another thing that will get you handfuls of trim is learning to play an instrument you like and getting your arse in a band. ho. lee. shiat. fish in a barrel. you can be the ugliest monkey pucker in the room when you play a club date, you are getting paid and getting laid. you have to be a real moran to blow that deal.

it's up to you. keep being Mr. Nice Guy, keep enjoying being home alone with internet porn. get your head out of your hind quarters, talk the talk and walk the walk, see what happens. a long time ago when i was a young punk with a switchblade and a motorbike, doing as i damn well pleased in my black leather jacket & partying with my idiot friends, i had girls asking me out. regularly. and those sweet young things weren't looking to hold my hand.

you do what you want, i could care less. i got mine back when the getting was good and the worse that could happen was you had to get a shot of penicillin. it's up to you: good luck.

reply to post by Leemo


Just stay natural, keep what make who you are. Don't worry because, you know, everybody has preferences in each other and you cannot be "the chosen one" for everybody. Don't break your head with that. Stay simple, and live your life without details.

Click here for more information.

reply to post by Leemo


Honestly, it's probably because you are dating girls your age or younger. If they are good looking, they probably get a lot of attention and don't want to be tied down... and most of them that age have no idea what they want. I'd say to ignore the "be manly" approach for the most part, but not completely. Girls want to feel protected, or at least that you will try to be protective. I can't really give you any hard advice as I don't know who you are, what you are like, or how you act in specific situations, but if you're confident and stand up for yourself, girls will respond.

Other advice is to pay attention to her. Know the things she likes, and remind her that you know it. Obviously don't just tell her, but show her. Bring her her favorite flowers, or food, or music, or chocolates or any other cheap things that she really likes. Don't play out flowers and chocolates though, you gotta switch it up and get creative. Keeping her surprised is the key. I'm not telling you to be a cheap person, but if you want to know if she likes you for YOU, don't buy her expensive stuff. Except maybe birthdays and Christmas, but even then you can show her that she is more special to you than anyone without buying her diamonds.

Other advice, stop dating! Get to know girls without sleeping with them. You don't want to sleep with a girl and then find out it you can be friends. You want to be friends and then realize that you really like spending time with each other, and then realize, hey, we can have sex too! If you can't be regular friends, you won't be happy with her as your girlfriend. Also, a girl who is your friend will be MUCH more open and honest with you about who she really is, and what she is really like. Girlfriends keep secrets, which creates tension, which creates break-ups. So the better you know the person before you start dating, the better chance you will have of it lasting. Obviously there are people who meet and fall in love forever, but if you're looking for those odds, you might as well just play the lottery.

Good luck!

Loves complicated. Just because your ready doesn't mean they are. Think of them like children who haven't grown up yet. Maybe in body they have but in their minds they are still children a little more than others. Some people take a lot of time to truly grow up.

My advice, I know its hard to find people and it also depend on where you look to what kind of people you find. Find someone mature, perhaps older? Its hard for men to be with older woman because....were men.

Originally posted by foreshadower99
reply to post by Leemo

 

Never be soft, woman don't like soft man.

Except when she wants someone sensitive.

You gotta be manly and show you are manly.

Except when she wants someone who understands the feminine side.

Just don't look like a dork though lol.

You just CAN'T WIN....lol

Don't try, be yourself, don't worry, have fun, and let her find you when you are being you and not pretending to be what you're not.