Should parents allow their kids to have sex at home? Your thoughts.

reply to post by jerryznv


LOL I actually have been to college. 4 year degree. Own two homes. I'm doing well. My parents were actually very strict, I think we somehow miscommunicated. The problem was that I would sneak out, drive too fast and it took me an extra summer to get my grades up when I was 18. I was saying that when I become a parent (if it's in the cards) I would be hyporitical, because I skirted the rules and got into trouble for a few years before I grew up.

The other side of the coin is a possible pregnant fifteen year old with HIV because dad didn't protect her...or at least give her the tools to protect herself...and in this case the best, very best protection is abstinence.

You can't control if your kid is going to abstinent or not. Not letting them have sex in your home is not the same thing as stopping them from having sex. The best way is to educate your kids properly about sex and sexual health, making sure they know that if something happens they can come and talk to you for advice and help. Not make them fear that they will be disowned because they gave themselves to someone they may think they are in love with.

@domo1 ok perhaps the meth / heroin line was out of order, but my point stands. The idea teens shouldn't be having sex at home because its 'disrespectful' leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Of course the age of consent in my country is 16, perhaps in the US where it would be illegal (I think ?!?) for two 16 year old's to have sex with each other I would be a little more strict. Though personally I'd still rather if they where going to do it (lets face it most will) that they did it in a safe environment with a complete understanding of the risks and the necessary precautions.

That is why you teach your children 'Safe sex'. My parents gave me 'the talk'. I'm 23 now. I've been having sex since i was 15. No kids. No STDs.

The key is to not be a slut. use a condom. use birth control.

reply to post by Domo1


Okay well I am glad you cleared that up...I was on a bit of a rant for a minute...my bad....carry on with the discussion.

Might I ask a degree in what?

If you say child psychology I am going on to another thread.

reply to post by maskfan


I was just teasing about the meth thing. I think it is perfectly legal for two 16 yos to have sex here. I completely agree that teaching teens about safe sex is the best way to keep them safe. Letting them know that you'll be there for them no matter what is of the utmost importance.

The logical side of my brain says they're going to do it anyway, make sure it's done safely and in a safe environment. Then there is another little voice saying it just seems wrong. I'm not even sure why.

reply to post by maskfan


Do you not think in the sanctity of marriage and in their own home is a safe environment?

Why the push for having sex so early...what is to gain from it really?

I know what there is to lose...but where is the support in favor of teenagers having sex period?

so whats the difference between a teen having sex under your roof or an adult with barely an income to support themselves under their own roof.

I know girls who got knocked up as a teen who make great parents and I know there are plenty of adults who make terrible parents.

Should we make sex illegal for all those who make less then say, 20K a year? Or should we have mandatory abortions, or take away welfare, or make people take a parenting test before having sex, or ..... the list goes on.

Irresponsible people have had sex and will continue to have sex and long as penises fit into vaginas.

reply to post by jerryznv


Not child psychology. Criminal Justice but I'm actually planning on going back and working on a degree in psychology. I actually don't use my degree at all, Real Estate investor. Wanted to go work for the Feds for a long time, still might but wanted to secure my financial future before running off to trample people's rights!

I'm glad we cleared that up too. I'm new to using forums and am sure I will phrase things incorrectly quite a bit in the future. I communicate far better in person, which is probably very evident to anyone reading my posts

Originally posted by booyakasha
so whats the difference between a teen having sex under your roof or an adult with barely an income to support themselves under their own roof.

I know girls who got knocked up as a teen who make great parents and I know there are plenty of adults who make terrible parents.

Should we make sex illegal for all those who make less then say, 20K a year? Or should we have mandatory abortions, or take away welfare, or make people take a parenting test before having sex, or ..... the list goes on.

Irresponsible people have had sex and will continue to have sex and long as penises fit into vaginas.

or into other mens orafices

Do you not think in the sanctity of marriage and in their own home is a safe environment?

No, this isn't the 1950's. Sanctity of marriage ? The divorce rate in the US is 40%+. I wouldn't want my teen son to propose to his girlfriend just so he could get his end away. I certainly wouldn't want my kids married off and prepping for baby making before their mid-twenties.

Why the push for having sex so early...what is to gain from it really?

You misunderstand, I wouldn't encourage teens to have sex. Education and safety does not equal encouragement. I would certainly load them up on scare stories about teen-pregnancies ruining the parents lives and STD's ruining people's bodies. However, closing your eyes and going lalalalalalalalalala doesn't make the reality of teens wanting to and actually having sex go away. Making them do it in a potentially unsafe place, without the proper protection (condoms + chemical birth control), because YOU don't want them having sex doesn't help anyone.

reply to post by booyakasha


I actually do see a difference between a teen and an adult with a low income having sex. The teen is still in my eyes a child (hell I'm 26 and barely consider myself an adult). A teen getting pregnant is a life ruiner in many cases. It's much harder to go to college, get a good job, pay for everything with a baby in tow. The adults have made their life choices.

I am not making this up!

I am not in contact with my Family any longer, which has nothing to do with what I am saying, but I feel that I am not like my Family in regards to how they think.

My oldest brother is only two years older than I am, when his oldest daughter was 16 and was "dating" her boyfriend who was also 16, they would let him spend the night. I am serious!

Well, by the time she was 17 she had her first child under her Dad's Military Dependency, completely "paid for" by Uncle Sam ourselves! She continued the relationship and by the second year entering into her 18th birthday she had her second child but by then she was living with the "In-Laws", which of course is just a reference because she was still not married.

I was told this by my own mom who seemed to think this was an excellent way of starting a family without having to go so deeply in debt! Yeah!

I flipped my wig and could not believe the madness of this. To further insult my niece did not graduate from High School, but rather dropped out and continued with the "dependency" until ...well I guess until it finally ended.

I cannot tell you how many babies she did have but I also learned that the boy (the babies daddy) only spoke Spanish. I kid you not!

I have lost faith in people and I have lost faith in my brother for being such an idiot; he is in the Coast Guard and I am certain he is a fine example of Grand-father-hoodlum!

Geez'us Louise! I am certain I was adopted no matter how much DNA says otherwise!

Personally, I feel that having sexual intercourse as a teenager is a huge waste of time. The job of
a teen is to commence learning mores, practical knowledge and skills to carry them across life as well-rounded people. Though, I must admit--sexual intercourse is not too time consuming, but when it becomes a habit, and a teen begins living for it, doing it on, or nearly on a daily basis--then they are just wasting their most biologically optimal years on extremely transient pleasure;instead they should be using their contemporary optimal brains, creativity and body to do activities that propel them on a more rewarding path that only leads to success.

Originally posted by Domo1
reply to post by jerryznv

 

Not child psychology. Criminal Justice but I'm actually planning on going back and working on a degree in psychology. I actually don't use my degree at all, Real Estate investor. Wanted to go work for the Feds for a long time, still might but wanted to secure my financial future before running off to trample people's rights!

I'm glad we cleared that up too. I'm new to using forums and am sure I will phrase things incorrectly quite a bit in the future. I communicate far better in person, which is probably very evident to anyone reading my posts

I have had a good chuckle to myself because I too am not great at forum discussion and am much better in person.

I received my Associates of Arts Degree in the Nevada State Penitentiary in 1994...and upon release went to the University of Nevada Reno, or UNR to finish my Bachelors Degree.

Back in the books now and working on finishing up another one...I guess that was my emphasis on education and how "getting bad grades" does not fit into my good parenting handbook!

You ask a fair question and as the thread unfolds, I am enjoying the views of both the young and old, parent and teens, mothers and fathers, etc...very interesting. Of course though I was prepared to take some heat on the issue and my stance is not considered popular these days.

reply to post by Greensage


See I think your example is more a case of not teaching the teen what can happen/helping them to be safe. 2 kids by 18, WOW. To me that is very sad.

Originally posted by sonofliberty1776
Are you insane? No, no, no and no again. Should we actually encourage stupidity?

Yes, Yes, Yes... some people are insane. Let's not encourage our children to be sluts. (male or female)
Parents today try so hard to be their kids' friend that they are no longer parents.
Sex is a choice with consequences and we should be instilling marriage and family along with the consequences to sex. Like unplanned children that will alter your life course forever and the possibility of STD's.

BTW, kids don't need 40+ year old friends.

How on earth could --- anyone --- *in their right mind* have sex with their gf/bf with the parents nearby???

EEEEWWWWWW!!!

reply to post by jerryznv


Your stance may not be popular, but I appreciate your sharing. I am so in the middle on this issue. It is interesting to hear young and old, parents and those without children.

Congrats on going for that second degree! School was a chore for me until my Sophomore year in college. At that point I realized how invaluable every little piece of knowledge really is. It opens the world for you and the more you learn the more you see how all these little things fit together. I'll be 90 and taking community college classes for fun.

reply to post by maskfan

No, this isn't the 1950's. Sanctity of marriage ? The divorce rate in the US is 40%+. I wouldn't want my teen son to propose to his girlfriend just so he could get his end away. I certainly wouldn't want my kids married off and prepping for baby making before their mid-twenties.

You make a good point...this is not the 1950's. I don't have to think very long to what the divorce rate was then and what it is now...a nice jump in families falling apart these days.

So...now that you know when you don't want you children prepped for "baby making"...when do you think a good time is? Before their mid twenties is too early...so when do you think a good time is?

If your 15 year old daughter is having sex...well even with all the protection and chemical contraceptives in the world...you might want to consider this prepping time. Cases of pregnancies arising out of sex where all the protection that was offered is not unheard of...matter of fact it's pretty common...so if your thinking that these are sure safe guards for teenagers to experiment with sexual partners and do it without worry....you are mistaken!..

I 'didn't', until after I turned 21. (Thats cuz no one wanted me.) (And still didn't, actually.....) (Ugly has it's benefits!......)