Should parents allow their kids to have sex at home? Your thoughts.

Haha. When i was a teenager i was having sex. In my parents home. With my parents knowledge. I drank as well. Let teens be teens. Just be clear about the rules. The rules my parents gave me were "Don't come home in a cop car, dont get anyone pregnant"

What is up with parents being so pathetic these days? I'm so sick of parents and people in general referring to teens as if they are incapabe of making well thought-out decisions and are merely a bunch of impulsive animals. Having such low standards & expectations will NOT decrease teen pregnancy or improve society in any aspect. Stop allowing your kids to walk all over you and remember that YOU are the adult who lays down the law.

Just thinking back on the day that I lost my virginity in the back seat of a car..... I have to say YES my teeagers will be allowed to have sex in the house. They live here too. Just show some decorum and the noise level down I dont want to hear whats going on just like I am sure that they dont want to hear us adults either.

I guess it has a lot to do the way we were when young and what was allowed in our parents house, I respected my parents house and also my boyfriends (now husband) parents house, so I expect the same from my own children and now adults they still do.

reply to post by AzureSky



Exactly!!!!Everyone needs respect, teens included. Now if they bring all their friends over and eat all my food Im going to be one angry mama!!

reply to post by jerryznv


Thank you for sharing! If I ever have kids I will be a HUGE hypocrite. I don't care. No sports cars or muscle cars, no staying out until th wee hours of the morning, no bad grades the list goes on!

There has also been lots of debate on whether or not to lower the drinking age to 18 in the US. Drinking is the only aspect in which American teens are not considered adults. I personally think it should be 18 years old to legally drink..
sorry if that's a bit off topic

If my son wants to bring some home and knock off a shot,I have no problem as long as he locks his door....

A confident and open relationship is more likely to lead to the young adult being more comfortable in making their own decisions when the time is right. Rebelion is often born out of prohibition and a lack of understanding.

I held out for a while, mainly because of lack of opportunity (lol) but when the time did come it was on our own terms. I had known about sex for a looooooong time, in rather a lot of detail. But I had been taught to respect the choices of others.

Ultimately you should abide by the rules of the home owner, it is common courtesy to indulge their wishes when under their roof. But I think this issue does starts way before any acts can take place. If I had the choice as a parent I would allow it, as long as I knew that some decent education had taken place and the couple were aware of the life changing consequences that could stem from being an idiot. Home is safe, the things that can happen 'out there' are far too complicated to bear thinking about.

Life is about knowledge so offer some short cuts once in a while

reply to post by Domo1


thanks, that is exactly how I run my home and so far I have give to society two outstanding hard working young adults, that thank me all the time for the hard time I gave them for their own good.

reply to post by Domo1


Of course they should be allowed to do it at home, safely, protected and without fear of repercussion from their parents. I did when I was a teen and unlike many of my peers I still don't have any children, nor have I ever come close.

Is 19 here in Canada (18 in quebec). We have no issues with it. And personally, when i do decide to have kids. There will be no standard curfews and all that stuff. Kids will be kids, with or without your permission anyways. There will be rules to some degree, there has to be. But when it comes to drinking, sex, well. As long as i dont hear it. As long as you think, and use protection. Then whats the harm.

reply to post by marg6043


My Mother and Father divorced when I was young. I greatly appreciated that they showed solidarity in raising me strict, though I was a little too slippery and crafty to follow all the rules. My Father, by far the stricter of the two especially involving things like this actually surprised the heck out of me by allowing me and the fiance to move into his rental house together though I was 23 at the time.

I think that strictness is what's kept me from making poor decisions later in life.

Originally posted by marg6043
reply to post by Domo1

 

No, no and no, that is disrespectful to the parents home.

Yea you're right much better that they be off having sex in the back of a car, or in the woods, or behind some shop. That way they can shoot up a bit of heroin or smoke some meth after to help them calm down.

Disrespectful to the parents home ? Madness. As long as they aren't being overly noisy about it and aren't groping each other openly in front of other people there really shouldn't be any issue.

reply to post by maskfan


Well I wasn't allowed to but that didn't prompt me to start smoking meth and chasing the H train. The mother of the girl I was sleeping with when I was 16 knew that we had sex, and informed my parents her daughter was taking birth control. I suppose it is odd that while the parents knew it was happening/going to they still made us skulk (sp?) around.

Haha. I've scared my parents. You know, youth. But i dont think being 'strict' parents is the best way to go either. I've mad some bad decisions, but i've dealt with those, i do not have a criminal record. and i make well informed decisions. My parents were not strict at all when i got older (when i was around 15 when the 'strictness' stopped).

Originally posted by Domo1
reply to post by jerryznv

 

Thank you for sharing! If I ever have kids I will be a HUGE hypocrite. I don't care. No sports cars or muscle cars, no staying out until th wee hours of the morning, no bad grades the list goes on!

Missed it...but thats okay...my hypocrisy is not letting my children live on the streets with a needle in their arm, breaking into houses to support their habit, years wasted behind the wall of a prison, etc...I don't want them to live my life over.

I could care less about sports cars, or staying out late, bad grades...well that I do care about but I can see where you might not...well actually no I can't...why would you think flunking out of school is okay?

Back on track though...I don't want to raise my fifteen year olds child either...and I don't want my fifteen year old to be a mother when she is still a child herself. Isn't that what we are talking about here? Or should I expect my fifteen year old to know all about how to stay safe from STD's and pregnancy based on what our countries track record is...maybe I want to instill a bit more than society instills.

The other side of the coin is a possible pregnant fifteen year old with HIV because dad didn't protect her...or at least give her the tools to protect herself...and in this case the best, very best protection is abstinence.

Maybe my standards are higher for my children than your parents have for you...in which case I can understand why you feel the way you do about "getting bad grades in school"...obviously college is not in your future...maybe a nice community college for you, but even that sounds a bit far.

I am so surprised by these answers. My mom didn't care if I had sex in the house or not. I wasn't ready, but with my mom practically encouraging it in front of my boyfriend, I had no leg to stand on when I tried to say no. I hated my mom for that. 20 years later with her being dead for most of that, and I still haven't forgiven her.
Just something to think about. Many kids rely on the "My parents would kill me if I get caught." excuse to deal with peer pressure. People think kids are going to have sex. Honestly its societies attitude that encourages kids to have sex before they are mature enough. In societies where it is not acceptable to have sex before marriage, it rarely happens. Sure, some do, but not the majority.
Once my kids are 18, I obviously have no control at that point but until then, as a parent I can do everything in my to make sure it doesn't happen before they are mature enough, and make sure they are educated. Its scarey how many ADULTS are not aware of safe sex practices. So many people think the pull out method works for birth control. I think it was here on ATS that I read where some guy filled the condom with water before sex to make sure there was no holes, and turned around saying couldn't be his baby, the condom was fine. *faceplam*

I can't believe teens drinking alcohol is being compared to teens having sex. Teaching your kids to drink responsibly is far cry from allowing them to have sex- which could result in you becoming a grandparent earlier than you expected- under your roof. I have a cousin who is in his early 20's whose girlfriend is now 18. Their parents allowed them to spend the night at each other's houses and she ended up being pregnant at 17. Not to mention STDs and emotional trauma, especially for the girls.