If the Titanic sank today, here's how the President, the media and Wall Street would spin it

Russian Government: We warn of any interference from NATO or any other group on this subject.

reply to post by Ray1850


Thank you..

sometimes we need a little humor to open our eyes to the truths around us..

Alien: "Don't make me come down there... again!"

Really Frustrated Alien: "Oh, let's just fling a comet at them and be done with it!"

reply to post by baddmove


"The Federal Reserve: We have decided to dump more water onto the ship in the hope of making it float."

my favorite!! thanks for making me laugh i needed that. S&F for you

reply to post by baddmove


LOL this deserves a Movie,
I read up to what Obama would say, and started cracking up

They forgot one:
The insurance salesman: Just give me all your money and I'll keep you safe!

Originally posted by havok
The Realist reply is exactly my response.

But I will have to add this one:

ATS member: SEE! I told you that ship would sink years ago! Why didn't you pay attention!
If you would actually read the threads instead of skimming through them you might have seen it too!


Yup, I am both.



Good post.

Outstanding, and a bump for the sauce for the goose, havok!
I will not abbreviate the best laugh all day, "I TEXTED YA SO!"

Please don't discount, A large unmarked tanker carrying an
ultra secret directed energy weapon ripped an orifice below
the water line to make it look like just ICE did it. But they
were busy hauling weapons to the border to sell at flea
markets do they could come in two years and take ours LOL.

Fantastic! Sums up the current atmosphere quite nicely.

If I could add a couple other reactions:

The Average People of the Rest of The World: " Those stupid fat Americans and their giant ship.... They had it coming "

The Global Elite: "Good thing we just doubled our insurance coverage! Just in time! Like 9/11....

Hahaha, that's probably how it would go down. Lol

That really made my day, haha America is so screwed and greedy politicians screwing Americans over probably isn't helping

reply to post by j35us


Hahaha I love you for that!
Haha this thread is full of laughs, what a joy.

Too bad there isn't one for Canada, our government is retarded, no serious.

reply to post by baddmove


Oh goodness, that was FUNNY! Laughing so hard a tear comeout of my eye!

The ATS Member: It is Elenin/Nibiru that sunk it!!!

reply to post by baddmove

The New Ager: There is no hole in the ship unless you believe there is a hole in the ship.

lol, that one made me laugh out loud. I'm a bit of a new-ager myself, perhaps if everyone on the ship truly believed it wouldn't sink, it wouldn't.

reply to post by baddmove


On the Titanic the pasengers had Wallace Hartley with his violon and his seven fellow musicians to entertained as the stricken vessel slowly sank. Today as the world is sinking we have The Simpsons and 7 days/week of FOX broadcasting entertainment...



[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/f802fd95f490.jpg[/atsimg]

reply to post by baddmove


Sorcha Faal: New information coming out of the Kremlin that a wormhole has opened up and monsters from 64 million years ago have eaten the Titanic!

Soo funny and true! My two favorite.

The Federal Reserve: We have decided to dump more water onto the ship in the hope of making it float.

The Federal Government: Hey, these deck chairs look pretty nice. Let's rearrange them!

Now my turn;

FED: We just decided that we were going to loan the lifeboats to different vessels because we are positive the ship is no longer in a recession to the deep. The gash starboard is healing itself at 3% per year, the interest rates are low, and everyone is still able to use our paper to float. BTW we already jumped ship.

Army Corp of Engineers: You know, if we blow off the end of the ship that's taking on water, flood the bottom three floors, and then put sand bags on the fourth we could save the casino, bars, and buffett.

Coach passenger: I knew I should have rode the bus.

Captain: Yar, I'm going down with the ship.

Elite passenger: No, come captain our secret submarine fleet to our deep underwater bases.

Federal Gov: The boat will not sink! We are going to bail it out. The FED is sending bails for all you Joe Six Packs to go down and bail the water out of the ship.

Originally posted by baddmove


The TSA inspector: You're not allowed onto a lifeboat until we check your anus for explosives.

Definitely my favorite.

I wonder if they can fix body scanners on life boats?

Hey, sometimes you have to sacrifice a few people's spots on the boat for "security"

Great thread, great satirical humor. Even if some of it is scary true.

Hahaha great post! S+F

Funny as hell but also with a hint of truth

Originally posted by baddmove
reply to post by TETRA.X

 

this quote scares me the most..

The teenage girl: Can I still text on my iPhone under water?

because it is so true...

this is the only thing I found remotely humorous.. the rest just had a feel of someone trying WAY too hard to be funny, making it... LAME.
Sorry OP, nothing against you, I just didnt see the humor

they forgot "Wall Street" "Don't worry about all the elite bankers dying - the banks will just be able to carry on normally as if nothing happened. Business will not be affected in any way".