posted on Mar, 9 2011 @ 12:01 PM
I am really looking for some honest responses to the choices I made recently. I will do my best to describe the situation in accurate detail.
About 6 months ago, I quit my job after an incident with my boss. To explain what happened, first I must tell you that my wife and I lost our baby 4
years ago when she was 20 months pregnant. We have been unable to have children and it was a miracle that we concieved in the first place, so the loss
was very tramatic for both of us. It is something that is on our minds every day. It is not something I normally talk about, but my boss was very
aware of the situation.
The incident that led to me quitting my job started on a Friday night. I was the manager for a production facility and I was responsible for about 60
employees. One of the girls that worked for me was 7 months pregnant and had worked for me for almost a year. She came to me in the middle of her
shift complaining of stomach pains. She said that she had not felt these before and she needed to go home. I sent her home for the rest of the night
and told her to call me on Monday if she did not feel better. The following Monday my boss(the owner of the company), asked me why I let her go home
early. He had always been suspicious of any employee calling in sick on a Friday. I reminded him that she was 7 months pregnant and I would not feel
terrible if I kept her at work and something happened to the baby. He looked at me in the eyes and said that I was over sensitive to the "baby
thing" and that he just did not give a ____. This is not an exaggeration. These were his exact words. I did not respond at the time, but about 2
hours later it had bothered me so much that I walked out on the job without saying a word to him.
When I got home, I felt better than I had in a long time. I had worked there for 3 years and he had been verbally abusive to all of us the entire time
I was there and long before. I had been able to put up with it in the past, but when it got personal, I just could not take it anymore. My wife
supported my decision and she understands.
It has now been 6 months and I am still unemployed. At least twice that I know of, I was about to be hired only to have my boss badmouth me when they
called for a reference. On one occasion, I was given an offer only to be called in 3 days before I was to start and asked what happened at my last
job. I refused to speak badly of him and they told me that one of us was an a__hole and they needed to find out who. Since I refused to speak badly of
him, they assumed I was the problem and recinded my offer. Another time I was in the final stages when the hiring manager mentioned that she knew my
boss from the local trade organization for the industry and she would call him. I never heard back from them. I have even tried 6 temp agencies but
they all call for references and I never hear back.
It felt really good to stand up for myself and not be bullied by my boss anymore, but now I am facing foreclosure and I cannot pay my bills. My wife
has been very supportive but she is stressed out and it kills me that it is my fault that she is stressed. I realize that many people are struggling
with job loss and reduced income, but I put myself in this position. I am a firm believer that we learn from our struggles, but so far all I have
learned is that it is better to keep my mouth shut and suffer than to stand up for what I believe in. I do believe in God and that he has a plan for
me, but I can't help but feel like I screwed this up and I don't know what I am supposed to gain from this. I take full responsibility for my
actions, but it has caused my marriage and my health to suffer.
Was I wrong to walk away from this situation or should I have stayed in it for the money? I would really value an honest and sincere opinion. If I can
provide any details that may make this clearer, let me know.