How to Witness to Greys.

So thanks to a previous thread we all now know how to convert gays to Jesus, but as this is ATS I thought we might also like to delve into another tricky area of faith. How does one go about converting aliens to Jesus?

Here is a list of the major problems with Alien conversion and some of the techniques the christian soldier can use to overcome them

Problem (1) Aliens aren't scared of you.
Much of Christian history has revolved around conversion through terror either by killing people of a different religion until you win by default of being the only faith left alive or by torturing people into renouncing their own faith. Now obviously killing a multi armed laser wielding Venusian is not an easy task and capturing one to torture is even harder so what is to be done.

Solution (1)
Introduce the alien to the idea of hell, his culture may be unfamiliar with such a cruel and bizarre concept as punishing good people for the rest of eternity simply for believing in the wrong invisible sky person and thats to your advantage.
There is no need to kill or punish if you can make the alien believe that a much more powerful, invisible, multi dimensional, immortal being ready to take him down to a fiery pit if he doesn't go along with you.

Problem (2) The Alien is just too damn logical and keeps pointing out inconsistencies in the bible
We all know that much of the bible doesn't make any sense and that even the bits that do contradict the other bits, aliens with their advanced understanding of pure mathematics and logic may just have a problem with this so what is to be done?

Solution (2) Introduce the idea of faith
Thankfully the whole idea of consistent logic and "things making sense" can be easily side stepped by introducing the alien to the word faith "It doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense" you tell him you must just have faith that it is true. When the alien points to two particular biblical quotes that are completely contradictory you can then sneak in another more advanced concept that of God being "un-knowable" hopefully this will confuse the alien long enough for you to sign him up to your church news letter and get your foot in the door.

Problem (3) Jesus was an alien
It's a controversial theory but if it turns out to be true the you are in a whole world of trouble, to you he's jesus the saviour of mankind but to the aliens he may just be Bob, the guy that went out for a pack of smokes 2000 years ago and hasn't been seen since and the alien isn't going to like the fact that someone nailed his friend to a tree for after he went around healing the sick and curing lepers

Solution (3) Convince him that Jesus actually survived being nailed to a cross.
Ok it's going to be a long shot i'm afraid and the chances of you getting out of this one without third degree laser burns are slim, but your one chance is to convince Mr or Mrs alien that the whole crucifixion idea was actually Bob's plan from the very start and that rather then a horrible pointless death Jesus (Bob) was actually staging the worlds most impressive magic trick by dying and then coming back to life a little bit later and ascending into heaven to the amazed applause of the gathered crowd, a trick that even Pen and Teller have failed to recreate to date.

I hope this thread has been of some help to people, and remember to keep you bible with you at all times when UFO hunting people we need to spread the word

Greys are demons - why witness to them?

reply to post by Lazarus Short


Hmm well, surely demons need the most saving, it's no use trying to save people that are already nice and lovely they can look after themselves

Now , if the westbough baptist church hears of this will there be a `GOD hates greys.com`?

reply to post by bluemooone2


Now there is a thought
I might suggest it to them, they are running out of new things to hate at the moment

reply to post by davespanners

So thanks to a previous thread we all now know how to convert gays to Jesus, but as this is ATS I thought we might also like to delve into another tricky area of faith. How does one go about converting aliens to Jesus?

Besides the conjecture that aliens are half-breed fallen angels from Genesis 6 type behavior, I'd say "no" they cannot be saved.

The offspring of the fallen angels taking wives of all the daughters of Adam they chose a.k.a. Genesis 6, could not be saved. They died and are now the demonic spirits we have in the supernatural. Jesus didn't incarnate into a Nephilim to die and redeem them. Likewise, Jesus didn't incarnate into an "alien" and die to redeem them.

Remember what Daniel said about the end times:

"And whereas thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men: but they shall not cleave one to another, even as iron is not mixed with clay." Daniel 2:43

The "they" spoken of by Daniel surely isn't any human. (seed of man)

you forgot one important last ditch effort before they burn you into dust with their Lazers...

if they follow you and their newfound faith in the lord ALL ALL of their sins will be FORGIVEN...

thats the sure way to convert them...


it will be interesting to hear what a Grey has to say for their testimony?

Don't hate the Greys. They were born that way.

reply to post by -W1LL


Good point w1ll I should add that to the list, the carrot AND the stick at the same time!

They might be annoyed that life on other planets is never mentioned in the bible though, I wonder if they will feel left out

reply to post by davespanners


Witnessing to aliens.........
Be kinda funny witnessing to the beings that could have possibly put us on this hunk of rock in the first place.

reply to post by NOTurTypical


Actually , greys don't fit any biblical description that I know of. The offspring (Nephilim) were giants I believe. Greys are very short.

en.wikipedia.org...

Originally posted by NOTurTypical
Besides the conjecture that aliens are half-breed fallen angels from Genesis 6 type behavior, I'd say "no" they cannot be saved.

Well if we take alien to me "any being not born on earth" then surely god himself is as alien as can be. I note that life on other planets is never really discussed in the bible so that would lead me to believe that god was pretty open minded about it

We are 'Children of God' and the Greys know it.

This is the reason for people being abducted to make hybrids. We are royalty and therefore sovereign on this planet. They are trying to produce 'heirs' to make them equal to us in having the right of dominion on Earth.

Duh.

Originally posted by davespanners

Originally posted by NOTurTypical
Besides the conjecture that aliens are half-breed fallen angels from Genesis 6 type behavior, I'd say "no" they cannot be saved.

Well if we take alien to me "any being not born on earth" then surely god himself is as alien as can be.

Not really, God pre-existed Earth and He called the solar system into existence with a single spoken sentence. If you wanna call a spade a spade then we are all aliens to Him.

I note that life on other planets is never really discussed in the bible so that would lead me to believe that god was pretty open minded about it

It's not mentioned because it didn't happen. Aliens are fallen angels as far as I'm concerned. Modern UFO researchers even state aliens appear to be inter-dimensional creatures and crafts. I believe they're getting ready for the "Great Deception" spoken of in the Bible.

There was a recent thread with a link to a Disney documentary on UFO's and the alien presence, that was created in 1995 to celebrate the opening of the new "Tomorrow World" in Orlando.

The documentary stated (as fact) that the aliens in the Roswell crash were missionaries. Now, we've all seen the autopsy footage and so we know those were Grays!

HUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. Oh no, not missionaries! HELP! What kinda crazy gray religion are they going to push on us? I don't think the world can handle it.....

It's imperative that we convert them! Thanks for the help with the argument when the "Latterday Greys" come to my door, or dance around me at the airport!

S&F LOL

reply to post by davespanners


We Marklars have no need for your Marklar, so please keep Marklar to Marklars and not to Marklars. If Marklars do not listen to Marklars, Marklars will be forced to Marklar the Marklars until they are Marklar. Marklar?

reply to post by Dendro


That is very good Marklar . I am impressed with your Marklar indeed .

reply to post by davespanners

S+F! Brilliant,thanks for the laugh!

Edit: Bob's gonna be pretty pissed when he comes back!!

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/f4bfa1e7f9c3.jpg[/atsimg]

reply to post by windword


Wow, I have never heard of that concept before, interesting and cromulant. So the guide should actually be how greys can convert us away from our odd religions to theirs.
That guide would be pretty simple though:-
1 .Point lazer guns at humans until they repent.
2. That is all

Thank you for that post