Dealing with the general public

The general public has to be the stupidest, most inept and incapable population of morons the civilized world has seen yet. This rant is dedicated to all the imbeciles who's lives depend on computers, and yet know absolutely nothing about them.

Customer A: Idiot. Moron. Brings in a laptop he says he needs a power cord for. Mind you this whole conversation is in spanish. I try a power cord, it doesn't power on. He swears that it works, just the tip broke off the end of his cord. I check the jack - it seems fine. During this, I notice a burnt smell. I investigate further. I tell him is smells like burned electronics. He then asks if the part of the AC adapter that looks like a brick is really necessary. I ask if he's talking about the part that takes his 120 volts and converts it down to 19 volts. He says yes, and that he didn't think it was important so he cut the end off of the cord coming out of that and wired it straight to a lamp cord and plugged it in. He didn't understand why that wouldn't charge the battery, either.

Customer B: Indian Muslim I guess. I'm swearing off Muslims from here on out - they can take their computer elsewhere. He had a loose power jack. I looked at his jack, verified it was loose, looked to see if I had one. The one that I had (brand new) only had two anchor pins in the outer metal cover - his had four. I told him I would replace the jack, but use his old cover on it since four anchors were better than two. I SHOWED him the new jack, I SHOWED him a similar laptop with the same jack as his. He smiles, says ok...a few hours later he comes back to pick it up, and brings his power cord this time. It works fine with MY power cord, but is still a little 'iffy' with his because the tip of his is loose. He wants me to GIVE him my power cord, of course I refuse that but tell him he can have it for 15 bucks. He begs all the way to the door and even a little out of the door, I'm still refusing....and he makes it halfway to his car before he comes back. He starts yelling at me demanding his money back that I didn't fix his laptop. I told him that I DID, and the he SAW it working and that ALL of this is on video (I've got 14 security cameras) and the problem is in his AC adapter. He kept demanding, then threatening to tell all his friends not to come here (think I dodged a bullet on that one) and finally I just shut the door.

Customer C & D: They were both hours late in picking their computer up. I had to run my next-door-neighbor (handicapped) about 4 blocks down the road to the drug store to get his prescription. Customer D parks right in the middle of my front yard for some reason. I tell customer D to give me 20 minutes that I'll brb. Customer C had only needed an AC cord and system optimization. I'd worked on C's computer the previous day, in my haste to get out the door & get back, I picked up the wrong AC cord (which wouldn't even fit into the laptop) and sent her off with it. She calls back today, and I explain what happened, no big deal. THEN the stupid SH*T started. They said they took their computer to the Geek Squad to get a cord for it and THEY told her that her computer only had 218 HDD and it was supposed to have a 250 HDD and she just got in a big yelling argument with her husband about that and she wanted to bring her computer back so I could put it back the way it was. WTF? The way it was? I didn't keep a backup copy of the trojans and adware I removed from it! WTH does a HD have to do with a power cord? I tried to explain to her that when you format a hard drive, it always formats out to less than what the capacity states - but it was like explaining calculus to a toddler. She started crying while she was on the phone and I knew there was nothing I could say that she would understand. I still don't know what she's talking about. I didn't format the drive. I didn't change the drive. I didn't resize partitions. I don't even think she understood what she had told me to do in the first place.

Work hours & days off:
I work from 7am till 7pm Mon-Thurs. Friday I leave at 5. I need family time, not "i cant burn a cd in itunes" time. Don't call me fifteen times on a god-blessed saturday asking me when I'm going to be back so I can show you for the forth time how to connect to a wireless network. They sell this things called....eh....NOTEPADS - they're for TAKING NOTES. You take a pencil, pen...crayon....jot down words that form in your head to make sentences...maybe to help you remember something.
OH, and the sign that says "PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR" that has the arrow pointing to the other door will not open for you. It is locked. It does not mean to knock louder and/or harder - it means go to the other door. It does not mean wave at me in the camera to open the door - it means USE THE OTHER DOOR.
After you have dropped your computer off to be fixed, the next proper thing you should do is LEAVE. It is not at all interesting to me anything you have to say aside from what problem you want fixed. A few words about the weather, kids, gas prices - yes that's fine. Don't camp out here. Please don't linger. I have work to do and your very presence reduces my effectiveness by 50% or better. And DO NOT sit your A** down on MY chair in front of MY computer. But.....they do anyway.
Parking. There is sufficient parking outside for at least six cars. THIS DOES NOT MEAN DRIVE ALL UP IN MY BACKYARD ON THE GRASS, or the FRONT YARD FOR THAT MATTER! Didn't you have to drive OVER a curb to get there? Didn't that seem, I dunno, maybe a little ODD or something??? So....I put up some posts thinking THAT ought to do the trick. Metal fence posts with reflectors. They lasted for about a week. What some MORON didn't crack in half by running over - some kids with bicycles stole and chased each other down the street with.
On my door it says "Smile, you're on camera" - I watch as they smile and wave at my security light.

Today was 1 of 2 days supposedly off. I got 37 business related phone calls. I'm getting tired of this sh**. I'm making a killing on this but it's killing me. I can't relax at home - not until after 8pm anyway ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. This is the biggest drawback of working from home. Always at work. Taking time away from the very thing that I started working at home for, family. It could be much worse though, it could be. I COULD be wishing I had more work to do.

reply to post by sykickvision


hey do you know how to get my wife's computer to go..
i get this "blue screen" and it says

""you are too dumb to use this as needed,,
time to take a bath, and try operating computer underwater""
"bring soap and electric plug""

or something like that...

lol

This made me remember something my sister was telling me about the other day.....
She works for Currys, an electronics store, and she sold a mobile phone top up voucher to this guy and told him how to input the code to top up. This guy started yelling that SHE should put the top up on his phone for him. His wife then said to him "Boots sell condoms but they don't put them on for you". Made me laugh lots

reply to post by darrman


10:45pm Saturday Night.....the BEST way to get top speed out of your computer right now is to unplug everything, put it in a lil red wagon, roll it down a steep hill.

I knew a lady that once SWORE to me she could make the internet pages load faster by blowing on the screen.

reply to post by sykickvision


I hear ya!

Recently I had been doing phone and broadband provisioning, spoke with a customer who was going beserk about the fact that he still did not have internet after waiting 8 months for it. I checked all the various things that I could and confirmed that if he plugged his router into the telephone socket he would have internet.
Turns out the guy had binned the router, was sitting with his laptop right next to his phone socket and had been waving it around trying to "catch" the wireless signal from the phone socket. Eight months of waving a laptop around like a mobile phone with no signal and he then wanted to cancel the broadband as he said that he was mis-sold as the salesperson had told him he would have wireless broadband through the box (router) which he has misunderstood as the telephone socket

Ive even had phone calls with people in tears and it turns out that batteries need replaced in a wireless mouse etc.

reply to post by sykickvision


Well to be fair if people weren't ignorant about their computers then you would be out of a job, so I wouldn't complain too much about that,
Also, you don't have a separate line for business calls? one that you can turn off at the weekends or let go to an answer phone massage explaining that you are not able to take calls?

Lol... This is WHY I don't work in customer service type jobs. I would be the one getting fired for [very nicely] telling people they are too dumb to use a computer and maybe reading a book would be a better idea...

I suppose just an uninterrupted vacation would recharge me. My last vacation was around the first of October, and lasted two days.
Since then, I've processed (repaired) just a tad under 600 computers. I think it's time for another one....vacation that is.

I know you computer geeks got it bad,
but as an elevator repair dude,it gets really bad.
For example"the elevator doors hit me"
No you ran into the doors.
" I got stuck on the elevator trying to go to the first floor"
No,this elevator does'nt go to the first floor,it has no button for that.
" help I'm trapped on an escalator"
Then walk down.
These are real any many many more.
Hoping for the day when something comes along to thin out the herd!

Or my all time favorite.
Emergency call I got
"I'm stuck on the elevator"
Are the doors open?
"yes"
Then walk out of it you %$$##@@# idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!


True story.