The Overwhelming Sense of Helplessness and the Death of Hope

reply to post by Jean Paul Zodeaux

Unconditional love? Do you have any idea how overwhelming my sense of helplessness is? I have a hard enough time just loving my family, and you want me to love everyone on the planet unconditionally?

I feel the same way, that unconditional love is totally beyond me, and that is not said lightly. I have dedicated my entire life to understanding love and have committed myself to a path of unconditional love.

Still, all is not hopeless, because I have come to realize that, of themselves, nobody is able to love another unconditionally. Love flowers naturally when the self steps aside, love flows through you, but is not from you, it is not your own creation. You don't make love happen, you simply surrender the self, and love happens through you.

Originally posted by mysticnoon
One of the points I was trying to make was that you have come to realize how impotent is your own will to effect the changes you wish in your life, specifically the goal to stop smoking. This is often the basis of the feeling of helplessness, when our will falls short of our want.

Well put mysticnoon! But this leads to a deeper view upon hope and that of the will of man. If man is without will enough to stop such a habit; does he have the capacity to hope?

I tend to agree with that it is hope that drives the will of man to the points they are at. It was the hope of discover that lead to the light bulb. I was the hope of discovery that lead to the near eradication of small pox.

I is the hope of man that serves the will of mankind. Without it, there is no desire. Think about that for few minutes. If you had not a hope in the world, would you have any desire? If you do, then you are deigning your own thoughts!

Specifically, if our will is to survive and multiply, why then do we see firefighters haplessly running full charge into a raging fire....where most of their minds are focused upon finding a survivor, they ultimately have denied nature.

I love your well written threads and have one or 2 book marked. I found this thread seems to touch me quite deeply on a few levels. I think it show's how we take our lives for granted and rely on cruches to see us through. We do things that are bad for us and our health even though we know the potential outcome, we have all the knowledge yet we continue with these actions and then beat ourselves up for doing them.

Everynight I go to bed saying tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will get up early, do some exersise and life live to its fullest, yet every morning I get up late, spark up and put off the exersise till the day after. It's a cycle.

What makes thing worse is that 3 years ago I was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. At the time i was determined to make the most of life and litterally live everyday like it was my last. Which I did for the 1st year, but now i am feeling healthy again, I'm taking life for granted again, so how crazy is that. You would thought a diagnosis of cancer would be enough to turn anyone on the right path, but I'm just a fallible human. I read the Lance Armstrong books, read all the healthy diet books, but have returned to my default position of ambivalence mixed with guilt.

I had my own deer story which was quite memorable. I remember going for a walk, feeling very sorry for myself, just at my lowest point , I saw a deer. Straight ahead and looking straight at me. It shocked me out of my misery and lifted my spirits, it was almost like it appeared to cheer me up.

thats what you feel so speak for yourself, i still have hope

Relax.. Grab a cuppa and a smoke.. As much as we would like to we cant change the world.. We can just do what can to make it a little bit better than we found it.. Life went on long before us and will go on long after were gone.. Take some time to enjoy along the way nothing is as serious as people make out most of the time.. As long as one lives there is hope... Be yourself dont worry what others think.. None of us are perfect only human... *fires up smoke.. Grab my tea and stepping out to my porch to watch the sunset..*
Hope making sense my english is rusty.. Do enjoy your posts as theyre often thought - provoking .. S&F

In order to change the world, You first have to change your response to the world


This video below by Bashar explains this technic wonderfully on

how to change your repeated patterns in life

in other words ..he reveals the secret of how to get off the tread mill

and start actually going somewhere with your life >>>>>

enjoy ….




great informative thread and posts everyone

reply to post by Jean Paul Zodeaux


The blunt answer is get up of your Knees and snap out of the paralysis.
Your revelations are unfortunate truths that most are afraid to deal with.

Once you accept these truths it is up to you to switch to a love based mentality from a fear one. You must see the joy inside the pain the magic in the rain that lets this amazing carnival continue. I would not sit here and avoid my own part in your feelings but it is no longer my focal point; action is.

Does life get harder everyday?

Yes, some like to call it evolution, others unfair. That may be true but it doesn't change the fact. Looking at it from a love perspective I see the beauty of adaptation the complexity from such simplicity the great creative wave that we all ride atop.

Hopless? My cure for suicide is this; heaven or hell is gonna be more hard work getting harder all the time, because life or death just works that way its simple logic. You will never get to kick back an have a goddess feed you grapes. So enjoy life it is what it is.

While the old man was wise he failed to mention that duality is a false paradigm. Yes it is two but it is also one. You must learn to integrate both aspects. Things are what they are they can be neither 100% positive or 100% negative. Yet, we have been taught absolutes. These absolutes cannot encompasses the true heart of each matter so we are fallen. Because we cannot internally live by absolutes we punish ourselves. We make up terms like imperfections and sin, we hold ourselves and others up to these impossible standards. The whole of society is walking on eggshells now more than ever. This my friend is what causes the feelings of inadequacy. But once you realise this you must take the hardest step.

Acceptance. Love is imperfect or perfect depending on your understanding of perfection. Conditional is unconditional in the grand scheme of balance. I can be married and lust after women. That does not make me bad it makes me normal. But since we look with judgement that is "imperfect " our "normal" is abnormal .
We are not being realistic yet that doesn't change the truth and I refuse to hate myself for it.

Yes these schakles we forced upon us through school family society religion and historical fiction. Can I ultimately say for what purpose at the moment? No but someday I shall. My advice, change your perspective and move forward at all costs. This little world is nothing to fear with the whole universe behind you.

Let that sink in for a minute. You must accept what is real and find the beauty in the different shades. God is not all good and man is not all bad and truly there is no death.

Unconditional love is above and beyond the 5 senses, out of ignorance people misuse it, like they believe in everything and they can create things too? You wonder at helplessness with hope, perhaps I will throw a match in there and set you ablaze, if your going to crash and burn make it spectular. Even in death the fear will over come you, the one truth in death is learning to surrender to let go, even a good fight, you can not fight. Even fear, fears death, resistance is futile. The same is said for unconditional love resistance is futile
we only have self love, our love as we know it does not travel, it does not attach itself like velcro does, like burr on your pants. This why we use pictorals in displaying love as you mentioned, takes effort to make the pictorial work to make it jingle, some see that sign as love.
Everything is in lue of a reflection, people are reflecting in other things. Yes it's ignorance. being born ignorant, The reson it's like that is death seperation. it that state it would be a sheer riping, tearing and yes you would die, becomes a dominimo effect. You have the ability to survive of not feeling the true pain and suffering. Also with an unconditional love in a velcro state is the ability to function in such a painful manner as it sharing emotions of such intensity.Imagine walking a tight rope and some has an emotion spaz looking at you on the tight rope and you feel all those emotions.

Crashing and burning is the easy part, climbing back up is another. Ignorance is a sowen affair of a lifetime, some concider it a fashionable image To crash and burn is nessary for some, ignorance is not bliss, like your old man's wisdom of pairs very true, add to your grave stone. Paradigms are movers and shakers going from a to z in an instant, parbols is a way to describe a paradigm in a pictorial of a hall way of directional leading.

Ignorance is apart of ego and freewill, they act in ways twins do, one confirming the others existance as a twin
There are truly pairs, the funny part is you don't take them with you in death, there is no need for them. they are things you surrender and things you take with you.Your own ignorance seperates it all, part of the learning curve away from ignorances.

reply to post by Jean Paul Zodeaux


I guess you have to be tortured and hypersensitive to be a great writer. Do you want to be a normal average everyday run of the mill sort of person with the calm even life and the few waves or do you want to be YOU?

I know how smoking can make you feel like a failure. It is a passing state of mind and leaves with the cigarettes. Been there. Have a feeling you may find another reason to beat yourself up once they are removed though. My standards are so high I can't reach them myself and so everyday I fail.

I get used to it.

One thing that might help is to remember even if you do not do another thing in this life you have already won, been a success and made a difference. We cannot see the effect we have on others and the world because we are so close to it but it happens and the world is tweaked in just such a way as it needed to be because of YOU.

Everything else you do from here will be like icing on the cake.
When we remove the pressure and the imaginary time constraints we put upon ourselves, we do better.

And hold onto the hope. A little goes a long way.

OR

The world is perfectly balanced...it's just you on the wrong side atm.

Originally posted by Jean Paul Zodeaux
What does all of this have to do with General Conspiracies? I am wondering if fear has not been used against the individual personal power since time immemorial, and has been used by those who cast a longing eye on positions of power as a means by which to gain, and maintain positions of power.

Fear sells. OMG I am afraid of getting old, so let me buy all these products to keep me looking younger! I'm afraid someone will comment on my toilet, spot on clothing, hair, etc, so I'ld better buy this product to solve this "problem". Consume in order to do away with my fears. Attacked by terrorists?...go shopping! I'd better get the most expensive casket, afterall, when I'm dead, I'm afraid of what people will think.

[My mom confessed in a family story how she was talked into buying a set of expensive encyclopedias by a door-to-door salesman (1940s), when he asked why she would not want her child to learn. She said she looked at her tiny first born infant asleep in her crib, and even though she knew what this man was saying was irrational, she gave in to his demands, because she was afraid of being an inadequate parent who would not nourish her child's intellect.]

Fear raises money. OMG I'd better send money to this person/organization, because I'm afraid of what they're telling me! The Commies/gays/islamofacists/satanists/fill in blank are taking over! Yes, Congressperson Soandso will save me! The Home of the Brave has been reduced to fear.

Fear sells war. Mushroom cloud. Alien hordes massing on border. No matter if Saddam had a donkey cart with a rocket on it, tell everyone he had WMD that would rain down on Europe!

As you said, there is fear meant to keep us out of harms way. But when we are in the dark and then "enlightened" by a daily diet of irrational fear, we start to react like that deer in the headlights. Our brains stare blindly at the irrational fear, and we end up getting run over by those espousing this irrationality. I grew up with the Chicken Little tale, but even then, I've had to overcome a lot of irrational fears.


Ran across this quote
‎"When I look back on all the worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened." - Winston Churchill

Best wishes for all your future projects. Remember, they will either turn out alright or horribly. Either way, worrying (being fearful) won't have any impact on the outcome.

reply to post by Jean Paul Zodeaux


Try to imagine yourself as a disciplined monk, who just so happens to have a sacred smoking ritual. This unique ritual is centered around "two" cigarettes – your first smoke is part of the morning at which time you’re a planning the day, and your second smoke is part of the evening, at which time you are contemplating the magical experiences of that particular day.

As a disciplined monk, in the time between these two cigarettes you are able to keep the thought of them from entering your mind – knowing that when the day is to begin or the day is coming to a close, they will be there and available for you to savor.

Throughout creation, on our infinite journey from one lifetime to the next, chronic fears and harmful habits only become surplus baggage, which act to impede us each step of "the way."

No Fear!

Oh, I had one more thing to say...re "unconditional" love. Humans tend to put a lot of conditions on the command to "love one another".Quid pro quo. Also, a lot of that is because we have a hard time forgiving and letting go (to us, revenge is sweet). We get stuck, which doesn't help us to move forward.

The biggest obstacle to loving someone else is our own failing to accept and forgive ourselves. How can one love anyone else if one doesn't know how to love themself? "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." But loving oneself involves the cycle of accepting ourselves for who we are, forgiving ourselves "seventy times seven", trying to heal ourselves by turning away from what hurts us.

If one acknowledges a "Higher Power", then one realizes that in Life this cycle needs to be done over and over, for as a human condition we fall short of "perfection", and are not supposed to be "perfect", our perfection being elsewhere.

If one doesn't acknowledge a HP, it's still good advice to continually practice this cycle. Eventually, one does become a better person. Scrooge became a better person in the end.

I think just about everyone is going through this strange period right now. I see it everywhere.

Hope is all I have been living on. I have done so many things over recent years that were down right foolish. I knew they were foolish, both my rational mind and my instinctive mind told me that the choice I made was very foolish. The strange thing is that I did what my instincts told me to do, which was the foolish choice, and my rational mind went along with doing what was completely irrational.

I have always been an ambitious person, successful at plowing my way through, bucking the conventional, and succeeding against all odds. I am no longer ambitious. I don't understand why, but my instincts keep telling me to relax, things are going to be fine. It really is insane, but my instincts have always served me well.

I have been doing a lot of writing, trying to finish up this crazy book. Never thought I would write philosophy. Can I change the world? Why would I ask myself such a stupid question? Who do I think I am?

I have spent a lot of time laying down, with my eyes closed, but not sleeping, watching images of things I have never seen flicker in the background of my closed eyes. I wonder, am I looking through my third eye?

At night I indulge, alcohol, a cigar. I have neglected my exercises, my toys wasting away from not being used.

My instincts keep telling me to wait for it, wait for the moment, but I don't know what I am waiting for. I do know, that I am running out of time. I can't keep living like this.

I'm going to skip the whole "hopelessness" thing (because I think it is largely a passing mood) and focus in on the smoking. I've been smoking for over thirty years...I know how it becomes a symbol of your own weakness, and I've tried quitting twice unsuccessfully. I now smoke very few cigs. One with morning coffee, maybe two or three in the evenings. That's down from a pack a day. The answer for me at least was the e-cigarette.

I'm not trying to dismiss the other parts of your post, or push a product. I just really think if smokers knew how effective and satisfying these things are, (ok, not entirely satisfying, or they would cut it with coffee, but you get the general idea) everyone would start "vaping."

I have been using them since christmas, probably saved a couple hundred dollars already, plus my lung function is noticeably better--I can tell because I walk a lot.

Just trying to help.

"Love is in the air..." Remember that song?? Maybe more appropriately "Fear is in the air..." I perceive it all around me the world is most definitely out of balance. I have stopped smoking and can tell you honestly that once you get through the first several days or months (it varies from person to person) there will come a time when you will no longer want a cigarette or even think about smoking! That is a promise! The desire to smoke will pass. A friend once told me the desire to smoke will pass whether we smoke or do not smoke. So why smoke?

I need help in certain areas of my life. No man is an island. We all need one another whether we choose to acknowledge this fact or not. I am all for willpower and exercise my willpower whenever possible as I am sure you do in many areas of your life. Smoking is difficult for you so get some help. As an exercise in humility ask for help. You will probably get it!

The only conspiracy here is the tobacco companies adding chemicals to make cigs even more addicting than they are naturally. I would also agree with DD that meditation can give you access to great reservoirs of strength and happiness.

This topic is most interesting.

Perhaps some things have to do with our "perspective" as well......

I actually have a positive and happy story about smoking! Smoking can even save your life!!!

I have SEVERE allergies. So godawfully bad that I was written up in an medical journal and several docs said I was *the worst* case they'd ever seen. I smoke, because of this. Smoking does not 'cure' hay fever - but can halt a bad attack. And I get them BAD! - like being hit in the face with tear gas! I eat so many damn pills for this, I practically have a meth lab going inside my own body LOL.

Anyway, one time - I was out driving when an attack hit. Bad convulsive sneezing that would NOT stop, and water flowing from the eyes so bad that - I could not see. I'm driving a car, I am literally - BLIND - again, as if hit in the face with tear gas.

So I lit up a cig - and the attack slowed and stopped. This may have saved my life and other lives too - prevented me from getting in an accident. We can include some deers here even! - the road I was on cuts through forests and they are always near it and on it also.

So, maybe many things have to do with our "perspective" as well. Sure smoking is not good - but sometimes - it can be.

It will cut down a hay fever attack! I will attest to that! And - so do alot of people with allergies smoke - because of this - they smoke *on purpose* because of the hay fever - ask around and you will see. IMO these are largely the smokers that are left - allergy sufferers. It is known to kind of help in the short run. Coincidentally - tobacco is a highly allergic substance - maybe smoking is an attempt to "desensitize" the body?

Go poll some smokers. I'll bet most of them have allergies.

Speaking of loss of hope - they stopped making my allergy meds. What the hell will I do now????

Hey - you wanna talk "Catch 22" - I looked into joining the military - I am pacifist, against war, but I thought if I could be shipped to the Iraqi deserts - surely there can't be allergies there? The "catch" ? - Hay fever is an automatic medical disqualifier for the military.

YARG!!! I cannot seem to "win" on this and seem destined to suffer with it. Lose of hope is one thing - even worse is when you keep trying and there is NOTHING that you can do - you seemingly hit a brick wall in every direction.

Erg. My thoughts here run more to the 'practical' rather than philosophical - but these issues do crop up in all areas of life and most really do boil down to philosophical connundrums and you get to the point where you throw up your hands in despair.

So I do not care about smoking either - it cuts down the hay fever attacks and if it kills me - well - that WOULD end the damned allergies, now wouldn't it?

Something to ponder - I went to a doc once for an STD test. I had been sloppy with protection, and pannicked. I told the doc this, that I had done a stupid thing - he was an Eastern man and said to me, regarding my non thinking behavior: "We are human. This is why we are not Gods."

One last Positive Thought: Banging your head against the wall burns 50 calories per hour

Originally posted by Jean Paul Zodeaux


I do meditate, but maybe not nearly enough.

The "I" cannot meditate.
And more "I" meditation is worse.

The egocentric life is characterized by delusion, fear, sorrow, anger, self-suffering, and the constantly alternating cycles of hope and despair relative to the ever-wanting need for "reasons" for hope, faith, and love.-Da

reply to post by RRokkyy

The "I" cannot meditate.
And more "I" meditation is worse

The "I" can find time to sit quietly and mentally ready itself for meditation. It is easier to simply say, I meditate, though I do understand this may lead to the problem of identifying the results of meditation solely with one's own efforts. However, there are many forms of meditation, and only some of them fall into this category of spiritual practice.

reply to post by Jean Paul Zodeaux


Thanks for sharing your personal struggle and know that many others are/have been locked in a similar struggle...myself being one of them for a number of years. If I may suggest something that my wife and I both found that worked for us is "Vaping" as in E-Cigs (Electronic Cigarettes). It allows you to continue "smoking" but the ONLY byproduct is vapor instead of smoke, in fact I now "smoke" (Vape) at my desk at work. The ONLY chemical that you take in is nicotine (which can come in varying strengths from zero mg all the way up to 36mg depending on the mix you go with) instead of tar, and the thousands of other toxic carcinogens that come with traditional smoking. The flavors range in the hundreds. Anyways you will notice an almost immediate health improvement not to mention no longer smelling of smoke and benefits such as being able to "smoke" inside and whatnot. Just wanted to throw it out there and share in the event you are interested. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or want to know more. Good luck and know that there are other options out there