No good deed goes unpunished

Mods: This is my first thread, feel free to move where appropriate.

I have had a recent reminder of the the phrase "No good deed goes unpunished".

Back in March my husband and I were contacted by a old employee, we had not seen him in several years but he would call a few times a year to say hi. He is not a great friend. We have known him for 12 years. He is a likable person but he has taken advantage us us in the past. He had fallen on some hard times and was homeless. He had a girlfriend and a young child. He wanted to come back to our State and his family would have no part of him. I objected to the idea of him and his family staying with us and working for us again. I have been down that road before and he always made me regret it. He has had a drug problem. He swears he has been clean for 3 years.

After many calls from him begging for help and swearing he would not fall back to his old ways. We reluctantly agreed for a temporary stay with us and to provide a job. The goal was made very clear "get another place to live ASAP". If he worked well he would retain the job and get a raise once they moved out.

They arrived by bus with two black trash bags of belongings. That it, they had nothing. We set them up in our home, feed them, got them some furniture, clothes and toy for the child. She is diabetic and came without any medication. I drove her to get a on state assistance, doctors appointments etc. She claims to be disabled and can't work. I never saw a reason why she could not work. Her demeanor was very "Ghetto" for lack of a better description.

He began working for us. He received a paycheck. His paychecks were reduced because we were supporting them. They were sufficient to by food and to save a decent amount.

In no time she got on medical assistance, got a food card thing. Now they had the Gov paying for most of their needs. They were waiting on government housing to come through.
Basically they got on the government tit. So now they were barely needing to use his pay for anything.

I kept advising them to save their money for when they moved out. Mind you they could now afford to get an apartment. But no, they wanted to wait for the Gov to give them free housing.

She got an infection not to long after getting here. I took her to the hospital, the said it was MRSA! OMG now I have a very contagious staph infection in my house. I am freaking out! Lets just say I went through a ridiculous amount of bleach and my family was put on a daily regiment of colloidal silver. I now know she knew she had this prior to getting here and was not taking the antibiotics she had been given. @@#$%.

I need to tell you that seeing all this going on, I am disgusted by the lack of personal responsibility and pride in ones self. Were once I had a bit of sympathy for their situation now I am feeling no respect and disgust for them. I just want them the @$%^ out of my house.

So, we keep waiting for them to get housing.....He is working hard and doing well. This is the only reason they are still here.

Well Saturday it came to an end. Not they way I hoped but, an end finally!

He took one of my cars and left the girlfriend and child. Took her food card, all their money and left. Called her once cursed her out and has not been seen or heard from agian. He apparnetly is back on the crack pipe. I gave him till Monday untill I called the Police to report the car stolen. She was devistated. She had a child with him and had the had been togeather for years. She choose to go back to her former State. She had no money, so I paid for the bus ticket back for her and the child, drove them and thier bag of belongings to the bus station. Gave her money to eat and said goodby. He still has not contacted anyone. My car is still missing there is a warrent out for his arrest.

I tried to help these people. They had been taken care of well. Given assistance to make a decent life for themselves. They got to a point they could have been happy, healthy people. In the four months they were here they had no respect for my home. I have to replace the carpet where they lived. Sterilize my home from a staph infection. Clean up their filthy mess the left in my house. My car was stolen and had pay to send her back home.

Bottom line is the phrase :no good deed goes unpunished" is true. I am left felling even more cynical then before. And sadly a bit more rasict. As my life experiances have shown me that this type of behavior is common in the black community.

I like the story from the Old Indian in the movie, "Natural Born Killers."

Once upon a time there was a serpent who was badly injured in a fight with another animal. It managed to slither away to safety but would have surely died if a benevolent man had not seen it suffering by the side of the road. The goodly man carefully wrapped the snake up and took it to his house, where he bestowed the kindest and gentlest care on the snake until it was healed and could return to the wild. Just as the man was releasing the serpent back into the grass, the ungrateful snake turned and bit him on the hand.

"What did you do that for?" cried the man, who knew that the bite of this particular snake was usually fatal. "Didn't I take care of you when no one else would?"

The snake shrugged (no small feat for a snake!) and replied to the benevolent--and now doomed-- man, "What did you expect? You knew I was a snake when you picked me up."

reply to post by getreadyalready


Very appropriate quote. I should have, and actullay did now better. I wish they would have proved me wrong. I have lost a bit more faith in the people are basicly good idea. I think people are basicly snakes.

I've had similar situations before.

Helping people who won't help themselves is simple foolishness.

It's sad but true.

A very touching story VaPatriot. I've been down that road too many times, I've had 2 friends end up on crack and there is no saving them. Once they get back on their feet they go back to the pipe. Crack is the worst!!
Every crack addict will steal to support their habit and they don't care from who. While I am sorry that you had such a bad experience you did the right thing - you cared for others. It has cost you in many, many ways I know but the reward is that your conscience is clean. You did ALL THAT YOU COULD.
When others will not do for themselves they cannot really be helped. You keep disaster at bay for them for a while but always they find their way back to hard times. It's a sad, sad story repeated thousands of times daily.
I'm glad to have you on my friend list! People who will help others like you have done are very rare indeed!
I live in Richmond but am getting ready to move to Lynchburg next month, I was curious what part of the state do you live in?
Great first thread btw!

reply to post by VAPatriot


This may not be what you want to hear right now but do not lose faith in people because of this incident. You obviously have a caring heart and if you keep caring for others like you did with this family karma will return the favor to you and you'll be glad you took the risk.

reply to post by Asktheanimals


Thank Animals,

Sadly I think I can't do this type of thing anymore. I have had some rough spots in my life too. I always pulled myself up by the bootstraps and learned form my mistakes. This sadly was another learn for your mistakes moment. I can't suject myself and my family to the costs this type of thing tends to involve. I'm up in the North-West (Loudoun Co.), close to Charlstown, WV.

reply to post by Asktheanimals


Asktheanimals is right!

It is disappointing, and sometimes hurtful in emotional, economical, or even physical ways, but you can feel satisfied knowing you did the right thing. Especially where a child is involved.

I absolutely despise homeless people and bums, but I never fail to offer to buy some food or drink. A bum that we used to help out a lot, decided to kill and almost eat my dog once. After that, I went on a rampage of bum clearing from behind our place of business, and I did some pretty bad things. Anyhow, I offset my cruelty by always offering a hand to get them back on their feet first. I put the choice in their hands, not mine, and I justified my actions that way. My hands probably still are not squeeky clean, but my patrons and my family was safer for my actions. During our crusade we found stolen women's purses, childrens clothing, material from break-ins, wallets, child porn, etc. It was a very saddening and eye-opening experience.

Now my standard response to bums is to offer to buy them some food, or a drink, or some gas, depending on their story of the day. If they refuse my offer, I give them a very limited number of seconds to get the hell away from me, and if they continue to harass me, I "defend" myself aggressively!

I'll never refuse to give a hand to the down and out, and I never miss an opportunity to turn the tables on a 2-bit hustler trying to scam me!

It is unfortunate that, with some, the more you give, the more they want to take. It is not just the black community. I have travelled far and wide in my time and found that these ungrateful little ***** turn up everywhere.

I am sorry to read about your situation. I should say trust no one, but if an individual asks me for help or if I think someone is in need, I generally help. Please do not give up on people because of this episode. Some good will come of your actions one day.

reply to post by Anjin

As much as I would like to have believed that. Life experiences I have had do not prove that to be so. And this was the last straw. Karma never seam to give me a break.

reply to post by VAPatriot

my hat is off to you for the generosity that
you showed. Folks like you do not come
around very often and should be treasured.
My humblest respects to you and yours.
And I am so sorry that you have been treated
this way.

reply to post by boondock-saint

Well said. It is people like this that give humanity hope. If we spent more time helping each other, rather than hating, think of what we could achieve.

I've had way too many experiences like this myself to say that this may have been an isolated case. There seems to be a cultural belief in certain circles of our nation that it's ok to take from whomever will give you what you need and it's also ok to screw those people over.

I have a former friend who was in very much the same situation that you describe without the drug problem. He and his "wife" were kicked out of their home with two children. They were living in a broken down car when I ran into him one day at a store. He was trying to hustle some money from some folks to "get to the next town". I bought him something to drink as the day was pretty hot and he told me his sad story. I knew that he had a reputation as a "freeloader" but I couldn't help but offer him some help.

He and his family moved into my home "for a few weeks" just until they got onto their feet. They used my address (something required in my state) to sign up for government assistance, free childcare, etc. During their stay, neither of them put in one application that I know of. They also wrecked my carpet on the bedroom that they were staying in, wrecked my car one day when they went to the store, wound up getting into a fight with one of my neighbors and their children destroyed a number of things in my house, including my television and computer. After about two months of this, I told them that I couldn't take it anymore and that they had one week to get out. They accused me of being heartless. Imagine that. The person who gave them a roof over their heads and an opportunity to actually get on their feet was heartless.

I hope I never see them again but I do hear about them from time to time, still doing the same scam with people. They are, by far, not the only ones who do this either, it seems.

reply to post by boondock-saint


Thank you all for your replays and support. It is still fresh in my mind and I am still looking for my car and dealing with the aftermath. I do feel disappointed and clearly taken advantage of again. I do understand that crack is to root cause of this behavior also. Currently it has left me feeling pretty cynical. Hopefully this feeling will pass in time. But I will have my guard up more now.

I really can't understand how someone can beat the habit and fall again. If ever I could quite smoking I would never go back. I don't get that at all.

reply to post by VAPatriot


Though I've helped several people before I too cannot go through it again. I just don't have the resources anymore. I can certainly understand your burnout about this but don't feel bad about it, when you cannot help no one should expect you to. Take care of your own for now, that is your real responsibility.

No good deed goes unpunished? You might be right, it seems to be the way of things in this day and age. Sorry about your lost car, I'm betting insurance won't cover it either.
I read about a guy up in Michigan who grows organic produce. He decided to donate 50 lbs to a church that was helping to feed families. Come to find out they threw it all away that same night!
IF good deeds go unpunished then bad deeds are rewarded, yes? It seems like the better you are at deceit the more money you make in this world. Who makes the big bucks? Lawyers (professional LIARS), Bankers who scam you, Internet hustlers who steal bank accounts etc.
God will sort it all out in end. Those who have done right by their fellow man will be rewarded and those who have done evil will pay for their hurtful ways.

Crack is the most addictive drug ever. I don't know ANYONE who has been able to quit (permanently). Seriously, I write them off as dead already. You should too.


Getreadyalready - I with 100% on how to handle the indigent! I once had a guy ask me for money as he said he was hungry. So I brought him a sandwich and guess what he said? "I don't want no G-damn sandwich!!"
I never saw the guy again after that. I suppose the look of sheer rage on my face made him decide to find a new place to mooch.
- Been a sucker too many times!
no more

[edit on 6-8-2010 by Asktheanimals]

I've just learned that if I do decide to help someone that I need to be careful and to do it for karma and a higher power beyond myself.

I had a nearly exact situation happen to me. Let my wife's astranged half brother live with us when he fell on hard times. Long story short he ended up evicting us from our own house, we had to go through the courts to get back in. He also trashed the house, purposefully poured rotten food all over the carpets, etc, and for months after we moved back in he would "Break into" the house via lock-picking or prying windows, etc and would just trash the house but not steal anything. I remember coming home one day and seeing smoke, as there was a bonfire in the back yard. He had burned all our sheets, blankets, clothes, mattress, and couches. I called law enforcement multiple time sand they did nothing and essentially said until I caught him in the act I was screwed. Overall I lost my faith in Law Enforcement and also in people. Ironically I got over it.

Recently, the past few months, I let a man do my yard work, as he was a Felon and couldn't find a job to support his family. I paid him pretty well to mow our lawn, etc. Well, after a few times he ended up breaking into my shed and stealing my tools, riding lawn mower, air compressor, gas, etc..etc. Filed a report, and the cops have essentially said that there is no way to prove the stuff he stole is mine. The serial numbers have been completely removed which I find it interesting that the cops don't' find it suspicious. I have receipts for the lawn mower and some tools but the guy claims he bought all that stuff "a while back" at yard sales but can't remember which yard sales. Overall I was told to go to small claims court if I wanted my stuff back. Again, let down by law enforcement.

I have probably a few more stories of me helping folks and being incredibly wronged. Perhaps I am naive, or gullible, but I help people for the act of helping.

reply to post by VAPatriot
It sounds like you did your best at teaching a man to fish. Sadly, it is probably through people like you trying to help him that he has learned to take advantage of them.

Even worse, he has messed up anyone else's chance at ever getting help from you again. I mean after a couple of those experiences, wouldn't want to get fooled again, right?

I guess if you want to help the less fortunate, you should donate your time(or food) to a homeless shelter. I hate to donate money, as it is far too easy for it to end up in an administrators pocket.





[edit on 6-8-2010 by butcherguy]

Your story is sad. It might actually have made me lose faith in people. But then I realized that good people do exist. You extended your home, your food and your money to these people. Yes, they were the bad in the world. You and your family are obviously the good.

reply to post by DJM8507


Wow, sorry that happend to you. I too have quite a few other stories similar to your and the one in the OP. The results have been the same each time. Makes me wonder about thae facts of that movie "The Blind Side". Can't say I have heard too many stories like that. Usually they are like the ones posted here. Sad.