a personal conspiracy-a fathers love

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

If you really think something shady happened to your dad, get a private eye to do some digging on this chick. See if she really is who she says she is. See if she has any other "suicide" or "death by accident" relationships in the past. See if she has any cult or fraud or criminal history. If she does, you could present it to the police and have them reopen the investigation.

My dad bailed on me after my parent's divorce. He got lost in drugs and alcohol, so I am familiar with some of your history. I know growing up with a Dad who cares more about himself than his kids can be a tough thing, and it can really screw with your sense of self worth. My advice to you is to not let it. Just focus on the family and friends that have always been there for you. But more importantly, focus on yourself. Get through this, and you can get through anything.

Learn from your Dad's mistakes and move on. And someday, treat your children with all the love and respect and dedication in the world. That will make the world a better place. And it will certainly make you a better person.

Best of luck.

reply to post by josheboyxiii


thank you for the insight and thanks for the advice i will definetley learn from my fathers mistake, but il never forget it, you know what i mean?
its one of those things that will be with me for the rest of my life
ive been angry, ive cried, ive been apathetic, ive been hateful, ive had fantasies of revenge, you name it.
i think im in another frustrated cycle

i would hire a private investigator but as i have said before their costly
but then again you cant put a price on truth and justice can you?

Hi, I'm really sorry about your dad. I've read all your posts and understand how frustrated and hurt and bewildered and ANGRY you're feeling right now.

I have a couple of questions though - have you approached your dad's boss and asked him why he has the truck and not you? You never know, maybe the girlfriend gave it to him and he feels uncomfortable having it and doesn't want to approach you for some reason. Why do you think the boss and his best friend are in on a conspiracy with the girlfriend? Is it just because he has the truck?

I was also thinking- if someone's out of their head, and asleep, on drink and drugs, I really think it's possible they might not hear a gunshot from downstairs. Don't you think that's possible?

Who told you the fight they had that night was about you? Do you think maybe the girlfriend told someone then that story got around? Cos I'm thinking if that's the case, then maybe the girlfriend has some regrets about pushing him too far and actually is feeling some guilt and regret about what was said that night? If anyone kills themself then I'm pretty sure whoever is closest to them must feel some guilt.

Maybe you're just looking at it all the wrong way because you're grieving. That could also explain why you're so attached to his stuff which is out of your grasp at the minute. If you have his stuff then you'll relax and feel closer to your dad, is that it?

Hope I haven't offended, I'm just curious.

reply to post by wigit


ypu havent offended at all in fact i understand where your coming from no i have not asked my dads boss about the truck but i was at a chinese place with my gf before i knew about my dads truck and he just happened to be there too and he acted all buddy buddy like nothing had happend

and i suspect that there is a conspiracy because she called my dads best friend and then his boss and his boss came over and called 911. SHE didnt call 911 at all!!
if i found the body of someone who commited suicide, or any body for that matter 911 would be my top priority

and i heard that they were fighting about me from onea of my dads friends(not his best friend just a regular friend)
i also talked to my dads best friend after this happend and before i heard she called him, i called him to ask if any of my dads things were at his house, and he acted like he didnt know any details of my dads death, as if my dads gf did not call him and he just heard it through the grapevine
suspicious if you ask me

and the simple fact that my dads gf's story changes everytime she tells someone

if my dads gf really loved him why would she go to bed knowing he had the gun?

reply to post by wigit


also theres no doubt in my mind that theres a conspiracy because this woman still denies that i am my fathers son. if there wasnt something amiss then why dont i have the truck? why am i not grooving on my dads base right now? why did she burn my guitar? why am i bitching about it on ats?

soon, very soon when i get my evidence together im taking her to court and i will have the things that are rightfully mine no matter how hard it is
i am determined

heres another detail about the case, my dads gf before this one had a son lets call him M and for security and convieniance, well anyway
M is curently dating my dads gf's daughter, my dads gf paid M to clean up the blood!! thats tampering with evidence!

my dad taught M everything he knows about guitar and i bet that asshole has half my inheritance and doesnt think anything of it
i think ill take him to court as well if i find out he has my things

i am next of kin nobody has any business to those things

and another thing my aunt gave my dad a ton of her recently deceased husband's clothing, accesories and personal items, it was his shotgun that my dad allegedley killed himself with! and has my aunt seen any of her dead husbands things returned to her? NO!

my dads girlfriend is getting away with everything

im not having it im sick of this

I think you should get right over to the gf's house and ask her straight out -
Why didn't you call 911?
Why do you keep saying my dad is not my dad, don't you know how bad that makes me feel?
Where is my dad's stuff that I'm entitled to?

You might come home feeling better about a lot of things.

reply to post by ashanu90


I am so sorry for you.

Do you have any supportive family around?

Your dad was definitely your dad, no matter what happened.

reply to post by catwhoknows


yeah i have alot of support my family is doing great on that aspect

reply to post by wigit


you think so? im not sure if thats a good idea, she might just shoot me or not even answer the door, i dont want to get shot, i know she has my uncles gun, or spit in my face or something, no matter what the outcome will not be positive plus my car is broke and if i got my family to get me a ride there they would all be tempted to beat her senseless or set her house on fire or some other unpleasantry, i really have my hands tied when it comes to that scenario

[edit on 20-4-2010 by ashanu90]

Originally posted by ashanu90
reply to post by ldyserenity

 

can i get the police to get a search warrant without my dads gf knowing?

you there? i really need to know about this because she can just get rid of all the stuff to spite me if she knows

what i want to know is, what does she possibly have to gain from denying i am my fathers son?
its definatley not matieralistic in intents, shes giving my dads stuff away left and right

I haven't time to look at this in depth, but read these links they might help:

www.seniormag.com...

www.professorbeyer.com...

answers.uslegal.com...


I've only skimmed through these but, I think, reading the last link that your father's girlfriend should have applied for permission before disposing of his things.

I know you may not live in Texas or Alabama, but I imagine the law isn't dissimilar wherever you live. Anyway, I hope this gives you some clues as to how to proceed.

[edit on 21-4-2010 by berenike]

Originally posted by ashanu90
reply to post by ldyserenity

 

am i wrong for being so angry? i dont feel wrong but i imagine people will say im taking this to far

I am so sorry for your loss!

I don't think you're wrong for being angry. It's only natural for you to want what is rightfully yours.

Unfortunately though, there isn't much for me to go on to therorize what could have happened. I do understand that hiring a private investigator can be expensive but if this were my father I would definitely want to check out her past. Could your cop friend who you say is going to check her phone records maybe run a background check for you as well? Just a thought.

Originally posted by sugarmonkey
Could your cop friend who you say is going to check her phone records maybe run a background check for you as well? Just a thought.

idk that sounds like a good idea i will ask

thanks for your concern

reply to post by berenike


ok thanks for the links imma go thru them now

reply to post by berenike


great links i mite print out the first one and take it to court with me

well i have just recieved awful news
the cop friend looked into the case and found that there is no evidence that she had anything to do with the suicide, the coroners report described how the entire back of his head and alot of the top was gon, so anyone in the room would be sprayed with blood(the funeral people did a realy good job of fixing him up though), his gf was not covered in blood so there was no evidence she was in the same room when he did it, they checked her phone records to see if she was up when my dad shot himself, she was not on the phone anytime between when she reported going to bed and the time of 2 o'clock.
and they found no evidence that the things she gave away were my dads
so in other words she got away with it.............
what can i do? im frustrated like no other and i really dont think i can win the case even if she shows up to court

I'm sorry things haven't turned out the way you'd hoped as far as getting your Dad's property is concerned.

It's hard to say that I'm glad that his girlfriend didn't murder him because I imagine that, in some ways, that would have been easier for you to bear than having to come to terms with the fact that he committed suicide.

As things are, I wonder if you could feel any pity for her? It must have been devastating to find him the way she did.

If you could find it within your heart to go and see her and try to share her grief you might find it helps you to come to terms with yours.

I know that would be a very hard thing to do after the things she has said, but if you don't try to resolve the issue between you, you may find you carry it as a burden for the rest of your life.