Social Anxiety discussion

Who's to say you're not normal and everyone else isn't suffering from Excessive Desire to Socialize Disorder? I didn't realize normality was determined through a democratic election process where majority thinking rules. Anywho...

When I have (completely normal) panic attacks it's always in response to some kind of hormonal release. Your body produces some powerful drugs like adrenaline that your brain, no matter how rational a thinker you are, can't control the effects of. If you're surrounded by morons who laugh like hyenas as they cut you down, perhaps it's better not to socialize than risk ripping their heads off in a fit of rage. That doesn't seem like an irrational course of action to me. It seems like the sane thing to do. Sometimes we can't change our environmental factors (move to a new town, get a new job, get new friends, get new parents) and the only viable option is avoidance. Popping chill pills so the hyenas can laugh without triggering a massive release of adrenaline seems like a poor solution to me.

Oh, and BTW, if you see me blush, it's not out of embarrassment. It's because my head is about to explode.

[edit on 27-2-2010 by Crito]

Originally posted by Crito
Who's to say you're not normal and everyone else isn't suffering from Excessive Desire to Socialize Disorder? I didn't realize normality was determined through a democratic election process where majority thinking rules. Anywho...

Lol, I like that suggestion. It seems to me many do have "Alone Anxiety Disorder."

They are on the cell phone constantly or the regular phone, or with friends, or with music, or TV, or the computer, but they seem highly agitated when left alone with nothing but themselves and the world around them, and nothing to distract them from it.

reply to post by Crito


im happy now for reading your post, it is exactly what must be said, thank you very much sir

reply to post by imans


I notice its caused by a defense mechanism gone haywire. Thats why many people self medicate with beer and weed...it lowers inhibitions which facilitate such defenses (it's not a guaranteed effect, but it can). The only thing prescribed legally are benzo's and some others which mitigate extreme anxiety and panic attacks, but never touch the root cause.

The way you think has everything to do with it. The way you think about yourself, others and broad perceptions. My anxiety is caused by warped perceptions, not psychotic, but falsely reflective of who I really am as a person to other people...as a result, I tend to let people walk over me, I jumble my words,even with friends from overactive restraint and self-consciousness.

Ever hear awkward silence? I feel that often when there is none. I tend to be awkward as a result.

reply to post by SmokeandShadow


I stopped smoking marijuana completely quite some years ago. I don't understand how anyone suffering with severe anxiety,paranoia etc can smoke the stuff. It increased my anxiety and paranoia to insane levels which were and still are very high. I would advise people staying away from it if they are dealing with these issues, it potentiates the problem ten fold. In my experience anyway.


[edit on 27-2-2010 by Solomons]

reply to post by Solomons


Oh absolutely, everyone reacts differently. Ive smoked pot and had great insight and made progress...other times ive wound up in the fetal position praying not to die (serious panic attack).

It depends on what you are smoking, how much and most importantly, you're state of mind and surroundings. Its a huge reason why I believe it should be legal...only in the right circumstances can it be used positively, not to mention the variety could easily be chosen!


The positive effect is similar to that "I love you man" syndrome with alcohol except deeply introspective, honest and therapeutic with an insightful listener.


Edit: oh yeah, if you're schizophrenic or have a high potential for it, its best to stay away from strong sativa varietys that are very, very high in thc. You might end up thinking you're roomate works for the CIA or something. Another reason to legalize and allow regulation of dose.
[edit on 27-2-2010 by SmokeandShadow]

[edit on 27-2-2010 by SmokeandShadow]

reply to post by SmokeandShadow


nonono it is like crito said exactly not you lol

you confuse the fact of you as free aware existing and existing conditons upon yourself

while it is easy to separate, anything any sense any emotion is not you, you have opinion there that is why you suffer or appreciate, but what is you must be you totally which means that where everyone is the least, that awareness freedom outside always there around your body senses, cant you see it ? your inner awareness is not related to you it is more a soul that its base is awareness too
now you should seek to relate both out and inn somehow but of course it is impossible it depends on all and conditions, but you can sense what it means
for me it means to not take what is there as me, it is stupid to label yourself of your death soon, i mean even if you want to die like me for instance it is not that i want to live, it is just stupid, while you are there you must speak and think how would you do that of what is dying

I really don't think I can compose a proper reply to this after reading it through.
As the name says, I am anxietydisorder, and the panic I feel has removed me from so many things in life.

I'll go through the thread again and try to give you an eye into the world I see.

I have a general social anxiety since 2005. It is getting worse with every year, because I have never sought treatment. I don't think cognitive therapy will be of any help to me. Social anxiety causes me a deep depression, because I hate being a loner. I don't enjoy being by myself at all.

What makes my social anxiety worse is that underneath it I am an extrovert - I feel very lonely when isolated, I want to connect to people. But when I try, I am too shy and go away. Social anxiety makes me painfully shy and anxious all the time. Traveling by public transport and walking by foot on crowded areas is nearly painful. It even gets me while driving, though rarely.

reply to post by damouse83


Baby steps. Arrange brief and limited experiences for yourself until you develop confidence and have some successes.

Also, you should ask for assistance, it's okay. Else you end up like that "Iman" on this thread, who has "figured out" everything on her own. She/he is so terribly on the wrong track, It's almost the opposite of her posts.

Baby steps.
Baby steps.

reply to post by angeldoll

My parents not being supporting doesn't help at all. While my mom is not very socially active herself, she thinks that by going out more will help me curb off my social anxiety. But the more I go out, the more hard it becomes for me, which sounds contradictory. The more I go out, the more anxious I get. Yet, i want to go out and meet people, I need interaction, but I'm too shy and anxious to really connect to the others. And that's why I suffer from internet addiction -- I need communication. However, the Internet made me even more distant in real life. It's just a vicious circle.

My father, who is the overly confident and loud type of guy, is even more nonsupporting. He always brags about how I am jobless right now. He doesn't realize that a job interview will be a total pain for me. Heck, even walking down the street is hard for me. I always feel like people are looking at me and judging me, my clothes, etc. Not only that, but my father is so annoying, he is too strict and a control freak. He is an abusive know-it-all kind of father.

My dad thinks my anxiety is inherited shyness from my mother, but I know it's not. When I was little I was not the most popular kid in town, but I had quite a few friends and it was a lot more easier for me to socialize with my peers. I didn't care if people on the bus, streets, etc. are looking at me or not. Everywhere I go now, I think people are staring at me with hatred, annoyance, etc.

reply to post by damouse83


I also suffer from social anxiety and I don't know that I see a problem with it any longer, maybe you shouldn't either.
If you simply feel uncomfortable out in big groups or crowded areas then I say don't subject yourself to them unless you have to...this could be taken as pessimistic but I don't mean it that way For the wanting friends and interaction part go do something that makes you happy (if you like music go to a live show, art - an art class, etc) and find people there who share those interest. As for the job situation, just tell the interviewer you're nervous...they'll sympathize with you if you're honest.

As for me, I've chosen to be okay with my "loneliness" and am happy to settle with a couple of friends, and "keyboard pals" over the internet lol

Best of luck in handling your anxiety though, I know it's hard

Wow!!

It is unbelievable how widespread social anxiety disorder has become.

Ive been dealing with it since i was 13; 26 now, so about half my life.

I wasnt always like this either. From 5 - 12 i was fairly outgoing, known around my class as a joker. Was good at sports, went out everyday. Played hockey with neighbors. I was always outside, always socializing

But then things derailed. I was very short for my age - at 13 i was 4'6, and at 14, my first year of highschool, i was 4'9.. This gave me alot of insecurities. But really. The more you go into it, its combination of factors. My mom went through a very serious major depression at this age, and undoubtedly her depression rubbed off on me, which caused me to get anxious about school, friends, and being so young and ignorant about my own self i went into a shell. To worsen matters, i encountered a kid who really had a great impact on creating this emotional monster within me. He teased me everyday - about my height, my looks, everything. Anything that he could use against me, he did. All my former friends, in total callousness, ignored me as if i didnt exist.

Anyways. This changed the next year, my first year of highschool. And this is when i really got steeped in a world of self delusion. I pretended to be something i wasnt, to make friends and become popular. Eventually it caught up, and who was the messenger of death? Of course, the kid from my my earlier year in grade 8, who was a year yonger then me. He made sure i returned to "my place", on the social scene. Absolutely develish person this kid.

From 15 to 23 i pretty much didnt leave my house. Cut off contact with the outside world, didnt even socialize with my cousins whom i formerly was very close with.

I went through alot of # before i became who i am today, and even then, i still battle with it. Its like the spiritual form of Herpes; a relentless force which only mindfulness can keep at bay.

But, theres a definite GOOD in social anxiety! It facilitates self knowledge, spiritual growth. It'll help you become a better and more complete person.

Dont worry!!! Just as i am getting over my social anxiety, you and everyone else will get over theirs! Its needless worry! pointlessness. Just focus your thoughts on the present, on the now, and the simplicity of the nature of socializing. Dont allow yourself to get caught up in those distracting thoughts, spurred as they are by our conflicting emotions. They burst into consciousness and force us into an apprehensive conscious state, creating thoughts such as "i dont want to walk by that group of young people" "i dont want to answer the phone" "I dont like hearing myself" etc etc....

To me, its one of the ultimate states of self alienation. Its essence is inferiority; which causes a fear towards socializing, aswell as an obessive desire to 'redeem' yourself. Thus, social anxiety traps people through STATUS seeking, something that can be very difficult to desist from, especially if youve been doing it as long as i have - a good 10 plus years.

I have found these videos VERY helpful in helping me cope with the symptoms of Social anxiety.

reply to post by damouse83


You SHOULD seek treatment.

Im telling you, the longer you wait, the worse, and more ingrained within your unconscious, it will become.

You dont have to go on meds - although they would help ie; your social anxiety is a symptom of depressio, but YOU desperately need cognitive behavioral therapy. You would also benefit from mindfulness.

Dont worry! This isnt the end, and i know exactly how you feel. You will find yourself again!

reply to post by unityemissions

Wow.

Talk about synchronicity.

I have been having very liquidy stool for the past 8 months, and my sister suggested that i lack enzymes,

I may need to change my diet; my stomach DOES seem to have a great influence on my mood.

reply to post by Solomons


My brother is a chronic smoker, and my brother is pretty much my best friend.

For years i smoked weed with him. Not just any weed, but top of the line, BC grown weed.

The high is usually fine. The problem is the burnout, where your conscious constricts, and so your complex/emotional problems explode into consciousness and become magnified.

Yup. I echo your warnings. Weed and social anxiety do not mix!!! It is a vicious cycle of addiction.

I agree with dontreally, treatment is an option that most have to seek when its social phobia. Its completely different from shyness or nervousness. Trying to do it yourself is like trying not to go to the bathroom when you have diarrhea.
I sent you a u2u message.

I'm 48 and I have dealt with this my entire life. I do always have the feeling of not being included and judged. I always look forward to getting together with people, but once I'm there, I regret going out. I have few friends...but I long ago made peace with myself and just accept it.

great thread.. The difficulty I have with this sort of thing is now..typing. My spelling and grammar is terrible. I feel I cannot state my mind over forums such as these without being rediculed for poor English. Hence I am automatically regaurdeded as a dumb ass because my school was a bit rubbish. seems a little unfair. Yes it took me ages to type this little sentance out. No-one know what intelligence really is, yet some are quick to judge.

I started suffering from Social Anxiety when I was in the 4th grade. My older brother began getting in trouble a lot around that time. He was getting arrested every other weekend it seemed. To ensure that I would not follow the same path, my mother started taking me to a child psychologist on a weekly basis where I was threatened to be sent to Boys Town if I ever ended up like my brother. Living in Omaha, where Boys Town is located, just drove that possibility home. As a result, I just withdrew myself from my friends and any sort of social life. I lived in absolute fear. I think my mother had good intentions, but even good intentions can have negative results.

It wasn't until after I graduated high school that I started to break out of it. I was too old for a child psychologist and, being older, I was able to gain some sort of control over my life. Even before then, the threat of Boys Town no longer had an effect. I saw it for what it was - a control mechanism. And that made me angry and gave me the motivation to break free from it.

The key was self-realization. Regardless of my age, I had the right to live my life free from the fear of being myself. That was taken from me. I was indicted for my brother's crimes, metaphorically speaking. He got off scot-free. That absolutely infuriated me and I became determined not to live that way anymore.

Never be afraid to be yourself. You are an individual and have the right to be an individual. Success is the ability to exercise free will. The most miserable of people live in fear of this easily conquered foe. And I know it's difficult for them. I understand that. But it can be done.