What am I an angel or a demon ?

kode,
Thats awesome! I wish I had a little friend like that!
From what I understand about childhood "friends" is that they are often guides. Sometimes even passed family members who play with the child when they are little. Thats very awesome!

cheers darkblade. this is the first time i have really spoken to anyone about these things. there have been people but few and far between. my family and friends in the past have treated it like a joke so i never mention it anymore. there is somthing else. this is what i have called the creature. it is nothing to do with jimmy the mouse and separate. i began noticeing it a few years back. its strange and protective but at the same time its [dont want to say this] evil. it does me no harm but now and again [dont want to say this either] i hear it. it growls. i went to church the other day for the first time in a long while for a christening. it, didnt like it. i dont feel like i need to be rid of it. but i have been wondering what it is. the first i knew of it was when i was writeing poetry. i would get myself into a trance like state by danceing to house music and then write down what came to me. i have a name for it to other then the creature. its called kane.

You ever tried asking it what it is? Something that doesnt want to go in a church would be kind of freaky.
I mean, I dont wanna go into churches myself personally, but thats because I don't agree with much they preach.
However, something of a supernatural nature like that would make me worry a bit. I would try communicating with it a little and see what happens, if you can get some sort of dialog, then ask what its problem is with Churches.
That is rather freaky...yep.
you're not pulling my chain are you?
LOL
I always try to take peoples word for it,
but this does sound rather unusual.
Is this something you fully see?
or is it in your minds eye?
Can you describe it a little to me?

[Edited on 20-5-2004 by kode]

I dont understand why everyone is so uncomfortable with just being a regular human..

Seems like everyone (ive noticed moreso at this site) have to feel like they have some sort of unique power/meaning/reason to be here/etc...

Everyone is either "Clairvoyant" or "demon possessed" or "psychic out tha wazoo" or something else to that extent.

Delusional people, growl.

i know what your saying it sounds far fetched. but no lie. what was it i said? the dancing to house music bit? or my reference to jimmy the mouse. this is why i haven�t been able to talk about it. im honest im not lying and im not a nutter. at first it was a presence and then a drawing and i have even felt compelled to emulate it and in fact i did. its my avatar. the drawing is below. im quite happy with it and its not like it�s harming me. i have tried asking it what it is but it will not say. all the things i have said on this site have been true. i have been honest and sincere. im no lunatic or weirdo. if you saw me in the street i look just like everyone else.



[Edited on 20-5-2004 by kode]

[Edited on 20-5-2004 by kode]

You're on a road, along which you encounter various aspects of yourself as a human being. The playful loving, although self-centered child, mirrored in the mouse. The more worldly wise and darker, more sinister adult, mirrored in kane. At this juncture you have several paths laid out in front of you. Each depicts a different possibility and aspect of your personality and ego. If you take one path, you find your emersed in self-gratification that most likely kane agrees with. If you take another path, you find yourself thinking of and striving for, the well-being of others, and a true interest in something other than "self" is present. Kane probably doesn't like this. Kane is the mouse grown to adulthood and represents "Self" in my opinion.
The other paths are just variations in degrees of the first two that further define who you are and how you should interface with the rest of the cosmos.

So imagine if you will, there is a third presence you have yet to find, one that would combine both the mouse and kane and then mature it, one that is ...ascendant, shall we say, or ..better yet, transcendent of the first 2 aspects of your "self." It combines them and balances them with healthy outer vision. So far, from the time you were born, inner vision has been the main focus. Peering into yourself, to understand the marvel that is individually you or your "self". As you mature, an outward vision is demanded, as you find you are not alone in the universe but part of a much greater cosmos and interdimensional space, populated by others who are engaging in the same journey as you and your "self". You can either choose to remain completely emersed in the inner you (some call this the inner eye) or choose to look outside you (the outward eye) to the other marvels of creation all around you. I believe this is all supposed to be balanced so that you still retain a firm grip and police your "self" and yet learn to share in the larger reality that is taking place all around you.

I have been there, friend. I am prone to the inner eye, to the point of utter self-obsession. When so emersed, rather than a creature named kane, my obsessed "self" is an awnry, sarcastic, ruthless male, who feels it his civil duty to remind me that he is not interested in my attentions and that if I insist on continuing the interface, he will be forced to make my inner space one of discomfort and puzzling confusion, a'la the Goblin King in the LABYRINTH. So when I encounter him upon one of my self-inspections, it's a sign that I have gone past healthy introspection into the zone of self-obsession. Your Kane may develop into this if you continue to focus on the inner eye. Step outside the Labyrinth my friend and get some rest in the knowledge that we are all here on this trip together and we could all use your help to make life better all around.

Err. Don't ask me where that came from.

Originally posted by shidge.
Delusional people, growl.

i'm sorry you feel that way.



but it is your right.
No one has claimed they were special.
We are all human.
Some of us have experienced things like this, and to claim its delusional is not only mean,
but not something you can back up.

Its an opinion, and nothing more.

Kode,
Noooooo, not saying you are lying.
No no no!!
Don't take it as such, but it is a far out thing.
I was asking about the other creature.
The one who was growling.

Originally posted by Darkblade71

Originally posted by shidge.
Delusional people, growl.

i'm sorry you feel that way.

but it is your right.
No one has claimed they were special.
We are all human.
Some of us have experienced things like this, and to claim its delusional is not only mean,
but not something you can back up.

Well, I wasnt referencing whatever yall were talking about.. But I was just reading around on this site where everyone makes outrageous claims that only seem to happen to them. I know ill get the "IF YOU DONT LIKE IT HERE LEAVE" but im just saying.

Seems like no one can accept that they arent special with a very important purpose that the world cant live without. Everyone has to be unique and etc etc..

Kind of a minirant I guess

Undomiel
That was rather deep, I had to read it a few times...
might have to read it a few more times!

Originally posted by shidge.
Seems like no one can accept that they arent special with a very important purpose that the world cant live without. Everyone has to be unique and etc etc..

But you see, everyone is unique, special and has some sort of meaning. everyone.

The conspiracy in life is that alot people don't see that they are special, unique, have some sort of purpose and meaning. Every person you come into contact with, every smile you give, every hug, every breath, is special.

Even if you dont see it, every thing you do creates a chain reaction.

I disagree. I think we have a purpose, but I dont think we are irreplaceable. If we werent here, someone else would EASILY (almost unnoticeably) fill our spot.

I dont think any of us (not even me) are as important as we like to convince ourselves that we are.

I guess its just delusions of grandeur, in in abscence of real value.

Oh well, dont wnat to steal this thread..


EDIT - I will have to agree with your second reply. I think that is optimist demagogery. Like when in elementary school they gave awards even to the losers. Kinda goes along with that.

"You are all so special!" "You are all very unique and important!!!" Just being fed that to be "happier and more well rounded"..



[Edited on 20-5-2004 by shidge.]

There is a lot of good advice in this 1 post!

In your preteens, you dont think your special, you KNOW it. Everyone tells you how cute sweet wonderful ect you are. In your teens, all of a sudden noone is saying it anymore so we have delusions of grandure, or just delusions.
It carries over in your 20s but you stop thinkin so much about yourself and the transition is happening.
You explore yourself and others, and find WOW there is a world out there-- oh and other cooler pretty freakier people ect....
At 30 you come to that not so nice realization that you are a drop in the ocean, and to be someone really special, you need to put many things (work, charity) and many people ahead of yourself--By wanting to, not having to.
They are
doctors
scientists
humanitarians
and mommies

My experience is that psychics, clairvoyants, cardreaders and other kind of readers in the paranormal sence get startlet or scared when faced with a person that has a strong aura. No matter if its a light or dark aura, good or evil, the majority of them have a gift of feeling or seeing aura, but they don't understand how to truelly read the aura.

Whenever I meet someone who's able to sence or see aura, they are scared #less and some of them even started yelling that I had to get away from them in terror.

Over the years I went on alot of trips(holidays really, I'm just not the beach/surf/lazy vacation type of person) to south america, china, japan, korea and india and went to people that have been trained and lived and have a deep history trough culture and family in all sorts of arts that involve the supernatural and body energy. I go there both out of interest and because I wish to learn and see things myself. Reading about them is one thing, meeting them is an unforgetable lifechanging experience.

People like shaolin monks, shamans, people with a strong root in voodoo, indian wisemen and so on.
They all, without saying anything on the subject, say I have a very strong aura(some even say extreem), with a very light and rightious feel to it.

If you goto psychics, that have no understanding of their ability, like about 99.99% of them, them being scared of you or startled by your presence, means you have a strong aura. Thats all. Because they can't see the difference between a light and dark one.

The reason for this is because they have this ability, discovered it on their own, but have no knowledge passed on to them for generations to teach them what they actualy feel and see.

People in native tribes or old arts still carry this knowledge from generation to generation and have an understanding to these things that matured for centuries, if not millenia.

thanks Undomiel, i would agree if it was for one thing. i know myself pretty well. and i am sure these entitys are not to do with my inner self. kane is real. so is jimmy. i dont want to disagree with you, you put it so nicley, thankyou, but theses spirits[or whatever they are] are separte from me. darkblade, it is kane that growls, i,ve heard it a couple of times.

shidge. im not delusional. and im not saying im differant from anyone else, this is just my experiance.

Originally posted by shidge.
I dont think any of us (not even me) are as important as we like to convince ourselves that we are.
I guess its just delusions of grandeur, in in abscence of real value.
Oh well, dont wnat to steal this thread..

Well, I find value, and do what I can. I guess its all in what you do with the potential that you are. I know what I have done in my life, and I can take a stand and be confident that I have made a difference in peoples lives. Is that special? hell yes it is.

And its not arrogent, delusional or anything of the sort.
Its all in what you do with whatcha got.

I can only speak for myself with the way you put it, but I am doing my part for my fellow human being, how about you?

Its not that hard to make a difference in the world around you.
Some people become disillusioned with the world, and lose thier own self worth and sense of being.
I refuse to go back there again, its not a happy place.

You're welcome

DarkBlade

xxKrisxx

Awesome post!!
But ummm....
Being a Mr Mom myself...
You left out Daddies....LOL



Matrix,
Being one who doesnt understand the aura all to well, I can say that when it does pop out strong, it IS rather freaky. But I know what it is, so I just sit there in kind of an awe. I find it rather thrilling when it pops out at me.

Kode,
can you describe kane a little? like demeaner...is it male or female...or unsure...act like a cat when it moves? Growls, but when it does, do you get feelings? etc etc....tell me about this creature. I am curious as I am sure a lot of people will be who read about this. Some might even be able to relate much better than I can, as I have not had this experience.