R.I. Gov. Vetoes Same-Sex Funeral Rights

www.cbsnews.com...

(AP) Gov. Don Carcieri vetoed legislation Tuesday that would give same-sex couples in Rhode Island the same right to plan the funerals of their late partners as married couples.

The socially conservative Republican said the proposed protection represents a "disturbing trend" of the incremental erosion of heterosexual marriage. Rhode Island does not recognize same-sex marriage.

"If the General Assembly believes it would like to address the issue of domestic partnership, it should place the issue on the ballot and let the people of the State of Rhode Island decide," Carcieri said in a letter to lawmakers.

Democrats hold a veto-proof majority in the Legislature and frequently override Carcieri's objections.

Sen. Rhoda Perry and Rep. David Segal, the bill sponsors, said they would seek to override the veto. They proposed the legislation after one of their constituents was unable to retrieve the body of his late partner from the state medical examiner for weeks because they weren't married or next-of-kin.

I for one don't see how the right of a gay person to claim the body and bury the body of their partner is an erosion of heterosexual marriage.

It would help legitimize gay marriage. Gays can solve all their 'disparity' issues by simply planning ahead, or getting power of attorney over each other. They know this, but want to force everyone else to accept their lifestyle.

Man you just opened yourself up for a WHOLE LOT of abuse!!!

I don't agree with the gay marriage issue either.

I believe marriage was instituted in order to provide a safe and secure venue for the procreation of CHILDREN. The state recognizes the benifits of producing further generations of people and protects and rewards those who choose to join in the best known institution for the raising and education of well balanced children.

Homosexuals, not being able to produce offspring within their "unions" do not qualify to recieve the same benifits. Their "unions" are barren and do not produce the lasting value to society as heterosexual marriage does.

I fully expect to get bashed, assulted and belittled by those promoting the "gay agenda". This is going to be a hairy debate.

I look forward to watching the progress as this post turns into an ugly battle of ideologies.

Having had my say....... Everybody have at it!!

reply to post by stevegmu


I agree with you. They already know how to handle this. But we all know they just go around creating things to bitch and whine about. I think the strategy is to do like children stand and scream until you either give in or beat them.

Of course, if you beat them you get extra time, because it is more of a crime to assault them than it is to assault straight white people. Everyne knows you would be beating them out of hate and not just because they tried to annoy the living heck out of you.

It is funny how they scream equal rights and then beg for unequal protection under the law.

Not that I am saying we should really beat children, gays, or anyone else for that matter.

[edit on 11-11-2009 by HotSauce]

reply to post by HotSauce


An example of the way that adherents of political views dehumanise their opponents. Ok, my friend, so you don't like gay people - fair enough, that's your prerogative. And yet you don't have enough humanity to empathise with someone, anyone, who has lost their life partner and is prevented from arranging their funeral.

What about unmarried opposite-sex couples? Does it undermine marriage if you let them make funeral arrangments for one another?

Does anyone know how old the couple were? If it were something unexpected at a young age they might not have thought to be prepared. Leaving a body in a morgue for weeks is terrible. When my father in law died in Iraq it took forever to get his body back and my husband didn't even want me going into the open casket room because of the awful shape he was in.

I am pro gay rights. I can sit here and bash my brains in against a wall trying to defend it and come up with reasons it's ok but I don't want to get into that. There should have been something they could have done to help this person in their time of grief. If a person is gay and their family doesn't accept it or talk to them what is that person's partner supposed to do when that person dies?

Yes, there should be proof at least of them living together for a period of time ONLY b/c you don't want some sicko going in and claiming corpses out of nowhere.

Originally posted by angrymomma
If a person is gay and their family doesn't accept it or talk to them what is that person's partner supposed to do when that person dies?

Respect the wishes of the family and move on. The other person is dead.

Assuming the first person came from a normal or semi-normal home, who spent the time raising and caring for that person? Who spent all that time feeding them and teaching them? The second person didn't do any of that work to help raise the first person - they just came in during adulthood.

The point I am trying to make, rather the question I am asking is this: What if the deceased's family wanted nothing to do with the deceased even after death. What if they weren't going to do anything about the body? What should be done? I'm not saying if the partner wanted the body and the family wouldn't let him that the partner should have a say so. I'm just asking the question: what should be done if the family didn't want anything to do with the deceased?

And just because a person came from a normal or semi normal home and was cared for until adulthood doesn't mean the family will accept their child being a homosexual.

One of my good friends is gay and his parents L-O-V-E-D him and gave him everything. BUT when he outed himself they threw him out of the house and haven't talked to him in YEARS. His father blatantly told him if he saw his gay son lying in a ditch bleeding to death he would just keep driving down the road.

People can do a complete 180 and so sometimes the circumstances don't work out in the gay person's favor. So sometimes there are very limited options. That's all I'm saying.

Aaaaaaaand *breathe* lol.

Originally posted by angrymomma
One of my good friends is gay and his parents L-O-V-E-D him and gave him everything. BUT when he outed himself they threw him out of the house and haven't talked to him in YEARS. His father blatantly told him if he saw his gay son lying in a ditch bleeding to death he would just keep driving down the road.

So what don't you understand about that? The parents feel a deep sense of betrayal from their child because they raised him with a core sense of beliefs and the child decided not to embrace those beliefs. To the parents, your friends, those beliefs are very important and personal. More important than family ties apparently.

But after the child has died, all that's left is a body. That body is no longer homosexual, bisexual or straight. The soul, essence or whatever you believe powers the body, is gone. That cannot be denied. If that weren't true, then the child would still be alive. So the partner had no part in bringing that body into the world - the parents did. As such, the partner has absolutely no claim to the body if the parents deem that he has no claim.

The parents should realize that the body of their son isn't a "gay" body, it's just a body and should give it a proper burial or cremation.

My question would be, how long had that couple been together? If they couple had been together for years, there really is no reason under the sun, why the state should prevent or deny same sex couples from actually taking care of the funeral arrangements or even, death benifits. Consider this if you will, under the laws of the United States of America, we are all equal. Now with that logic, it could be argued, lets take a man and a woman, they live together, it happens and is likely, and are together for a long period of time, may or may not have children. And one of them dies, now under that equality, the survivor has no rights to the body or any of the assetts, because they are not married.

Can we please stop telling people who they should be?

I would bet everyone who commented on this thread has done
sonething in their life that would not be accepted by another person or group.
Go on - think about it. Any secrets out there?

Let's stop this nonsense and quit trying to be the "deciders" for everyone.

Nobody owns the rights to marriage -
and certainly no one owns the right to tell you whether or not you can be the one
who can identify and bury someone you love.

reply to post by sos37


Yes, I stated before that if it was going against the parents' wishes for the partner to have the body that those wishes be honored. But what if the parents just want NOTHING to do to with the body? That is what I am asking. The parents put not stipulations on anything is what I'm driving at. They could care less what happens to the body. So what then?

And just because you deem the body just to be a vessel (which I believe is very true) does not mean that others are going to believe the same way you do. You may see a dead body, others see the ones they once knew.

I'm just saying there are a lot of "what ifs."

Yes, I just don't understand how you can just drop someone once they don't adhere to your way of thinking. BUT THAT IS JUST ME! I'm not trying to force my opinion on anyone. I just know I can teach my son everything I want him to know and bring him up a certain way but he's going to be the one who ends up making his own choices (though I don't think homosexuality is a choice, maybe acting on homosexuality but not homosexuality itself. But I believe you can't help how you feel). But like I said: THIS IS MY OPINION. Is there a disclaimer smiley? I just know I'll love my son (and hopefully one day a daughter *crosses fingers*) no matter what but not everyone has that line of thinking.

Either way, things like this are never going to be settled because everyone thinks they are right. One my favorite quotes goes something like "why not let them get married? that way they can be just as miserable as us." Or something like that haha.

reply to post by spinkyboo


"Can we please stop telling people who they should be?

I would bet everyone who commented on this thread has done
sonething in their life that would not be accepted by another person or group.
Go on - think about it. Any secrets out there?

Let's stop this nonsense and quit trying to be the "deciders" for everyone."

I agree, we all have dont some nasty things in our lives and most of us wouldn't want those things to become public knowledge if we could avoid it.

Not Gays.

They flaunt their unaccepted behavior before the world and demand we all toe the party line and embrace and applaud them. They demand that anyone who doesn't just fawn over their every public act of provocation should be thrown in jail for "hate crimes".

I have no problems with gays having equal rights with everyone else. What I have a problem with is their incessant demands for rights above and beyond those of everyone else, especially their demand that nobody criticize their lifestyle.

It's called freedom of speach, deal with it.

My parents are both dead and I don't trust my remaining siblings to take care of my corpse after I die. They would probably donate it to a medical school to save the expense of a burial.

What I did was give my partner (now my husband) legal power of attorney for healthcare. He knows what I would want and I trust him to respect that. He has a legal right to make those decisions now, but I took care of the legal aspects when I was still single.

I think the state should recognize a same-sex partner as a legitimate family member. The difficulty, if any, could arise if just anyone could claim to have had a significant relationship to the deceased. There needs to be some proof of an enduring bond.

Until such time as same-sex partners are allowed to marry, I suggest that they get a legal power of attorney for health care right away. They can always change the designated partner if their circumstances change but at least they can have their last wishes respected.