Infectious Lack of Respect

reply to post by happygolucky


well, you made me smile at least!
so are you a fellow believer that the gammatical impared cannot have opinions of any value?

reply to post by happygolucky

People look to leaders to lead. Who become leaders don't always do so based on merit. Many get there because they simply are given a voice or have the money to be heard. And, yes, many of them are flagrantly guilty of showing a lack of respect and boundaries. We have to ask ourselves not only why they are being given a platform but also why so many are listening to them.

You know, when things fly in the face of logic and common sense, like lack of respect and lack of boundaries, do we simply respond in kind and accept that as the new, ugly norm? Or do we think for ourselves and act according to what we know is right? Why are we tolerating this in anyone, particularly in the so-called leaders?

most people just don't deserve respect. how many truly respectable people do you know? what have you done in your lifetime that commands my respect? i usually go out of my way to be polite only to the elderly. It's not that most of them particularly deserve it either, a lot of old people are real spiteful and nasty just like anyone else. basically it is just human nature to be a selfish evil foul little creature, and i treat people as such.

reply to post by 2weird2live2rare2die


As I stated, in a previous post, everyone deserves respect until a specific individual exhibits behavior or other characteristics to prove themselves undeserving of respect.

It matters not what "I have done in my lifetime to command your respect". The proper and respectful question is, 'what have I done to cause you to not respect me?' If the answer is nothing (which it should be, since this is our first interaction), then respect should be inherent.

I, also, am of the mindset that respect has varying levels. A person may cause me to lose some respect due to actions or words, made or uttered in a moment. However, I recognize everyone can have a bad day and do or say things that are out of character, that are regretted later. It is easy for them to regain my respect.

I believe that even those who have caused a complete loss of respect are capable of earning back that respect, although it may take time.

I think there is a decline in "outer" respect (manners, decorum, ettiquite, public consideration, etc.) As for "inner" respect (how people really feel about each other inside), I'm not sure there has been much change. Loathing, jealousy, backstabbing, hatred, etc. have all been with the human race for a long, long time.

One aspect is that the concept of dignity has taken a real beating over the last 40 years or so. At some point people began mistakenly assuming any gravitas was negative for some reason. (Still not sure exactly how that happened). When people can't respect themselves, they can't comport themselves with dignity. When they can't behave with dignity, they cannot show respect and courtesy to others.

Originally posted by silent thunder
When people can't respect themselves, they can't comport themselves with dignity. When they can't behave with dignity, they cannot show respect and courtesy to others.

Excellent point! I will only add that I believe the first rung on the ladder to achieving self respect and dignity is personal responsibility. Most everything else is beyond our control.

Originally posted by ~Lucidity
You know, when things fly in the face of logic and common sense, like lack of respect and lack of boundaries, do we simply respond in kind and accept that as the new, ugly norm?

This is an area which is, too often, controlled strictly by emotions. Politicians and the media have become quite skilled at camouflaging logic and common sense with words intended to excite the emotions, rather than encourage clear thought.

Or do we think for ourselves and act according to what we know is right? Why are we tolerating this in anyone, particularly in the so-called leaders?

Why, indeed? Please let me know if you can arrive at a clear understanding of that. Washington has become a vacuum environment, in which a responsible government is not capable of thriving. And, we the voters have allowed it.

reply to post by WTFover


I agree. I live in a small town and when I pass people on the street I say hello, if I'm walking. If I'm driving I wave.
It seems that the older people respond but the teens and even some older (20's, 30's), do not.
I'm only 40 but I was taught to be respectful of the people around me.
It's quite strange to say hello to a young passerby and have them ignore you completely.
I enjoy holding doors for people and even recently while I was at a convenient store I held some items for a man and his son as we waited for the computer to come back online.
The man was so grateful that he that he thanked me three times. It was as if he had never had such an experience.

If we all do these kind gestures maybe it will rub off.

Peace.

I work in retail, so I get the brunt of people's rudeness. Us customer service people are honestly treated like sh&@ eight hours a day, six days a week. People treat me like garbage, like I was created to serve them. Maybe one out of twenty customers is appreciative and says "Thank You!" or "you have a nice day as well!" Most people grab their bags and receipt and ignore me as they walk out of the store. Or a lot are blatantly rude, or in a lot of mens cases perverted. My parents are pretty rude to customer service people (waitresses, cashiers, clerks) and I always get on them about it.


I realize that I'm getting paid to do my job, but a little appreciation goes a loong way and I can assure you that you will get much better service when you just be polite and show respect. In fact, the nice people are the ones that I give discounts to

reply to post by zsuzsology


I think it makes a big difference whether you come from/live in the country or the city. In the city any stranger who tries to talk to you is usually trying to hustle you. It can seem very unusual, akward, and hard to process when a city person is faced with small-town friendliness. And vice versa, of course.

Also, there are regional differences. For example, in the USA, Northeasterners often strike Southerners as cold, flinty, and rude. Meanwhile Northeasterners often see Southern hospitality as overly sugary and insincere. Similar differences exist in other nations as well.

[edit on 7/29/10 by silent thunder]

Originally posted by State of Mind
I realize that I'm getting paid to do my job, but a little appreciation goes a loong way and I can assure you that you will get much better service when you just be polite and show respect.

Isn't it so much easier to do your job, when you are shown a little respect and appreciation? Unfortunately, those who have never had to work with "the public" have no clue.

Originally posted by silent thunder
For example, in the USA, Northeasterners often strike Southerners as cold, flinty, and rude. Meanwhile Northeasterners often see Southern hospitality as overly sugary and insincere. Similar differences exist in other nations as well.

I think you meant Southerners think Northeasterners are rude. Well you know those damn Yankees

Seriously though, that is where a lot of us get ourselves into trouble. Generalities are a dangerous thing, aren't they?

reply to post by WTFover


Yeah, you are right, that's what I meant. And you are also right generalities are always bad. But sometimes there are real cultural differences. It gets even harder when you throw in foreign languages and other factors.

Maybe the cultural differences are slowly disappearing or at least weakening in most of the world. They sell "Sex and the City" DVDs from Lhasa to La Paz, and there seems to be a Starbucks on every corner in the devloped world now. Its sad, but fanatic inability to deal with people from elsewhere is sadder, I guess.



[edit on 7/29/10 by silent thunder]

reply to post by State of Mind


I worked in the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant and became very perturbed by how many people would just drive away without even a glance.
I decided to do an experiment.
I marked down the "thankers", the "nodders", and the "driveaways".
Unfortunately, about 65% were driveaways. Maybe 15% were thankers.
That was about 20 years ago. I wonder what the difference would be now?

reply to post by silent thunder


And, unfortunately, many watch "Sex and the City" and believe those are the faces of America. No wonder we have such a bad rep'.....

Originally posted by silent thunder
reply to post by zsuzsology

 

I think it makes a big difference whether you come from/live in the country or the city. In the city any stranger who tries to talk to you is usually trying to hustle you. It can seem very unusual, akward, and hard to process when a city person is faced with small-town friendliness. And vice versa, of course.

Also, there are regional differences. For example, in the USA, Northeasterners often strike Southerners as cold, flinty, and rude. Meanwhile Northeasterners often see Southern hospitality as overly sugary and insincere. Similar differences exist in other nations as well.



I think it makes a big difference. It reminds me of the movie "Crocodile Dundee", when he goes to New York and walks down the street and tries to say hello to every passerby.
I've been to the city and couldn't imagine such a feat!

[edit on 7/29/10 by silent thunder]

Originally posted by silent thunder
reply to post by zsuzsology

 

I think it makes a big difference whether you come from/live in the country or the city. In the city any stranger who tries to talk to you is usually trying to hustle you. It can seem very unusual, akward, and hard to process when a city person is faced with small-town friendliness. And vice versa, of course.

Also, there are regional differences. For example, in the USA, Northeasterners often strike Southerners as cold, flinty, and rude. Meanwhile Northeasterners often see Southern hospitality as overly sugary and insincere. Similar differences exist in other nations as well.

[edit on 7/29/10 by silent thunder]

reply to post by WTFover


You are correct, and this is due to a number of factors...the first being anonimity, and its perceived security to allow reckless behaviour, and the lack of true lasting consequences, for ones actions in this modern world. Both of these give the offender no concern for worry, and foster the snowballing, who gives a crap attitude, as well as, enhancing the oneupsmanship, if I may, making sure that what was done before must be superseded by even more eggrarious insulting and disrespectful acts. ( IMO)

reply to post by freetree64


That is very true, as related to online communities. However, I speculate those who are the worst offenders in forum discussions are not quite so bold in physical interactions.

What they seem to fail to realize is that, though they may have a valid point to make, it is always hidden by the foul words.

lol I came here out of respect and Im glad I did. Have you ever noticed threads seem to come in waves around here? Seems Respect has been on a lot of minds lately. Hopefully this is a good thing and maybe just maybe if we stick to our guns and teach by our own actions we may get somewhere. Somewhat sad to think though we have to go backwards to old school to get forward of something that should be so simple.... sigh... glad to know others are feeling the pinch though.