What is going on with me

I am 16. In high school. I have always for as long as I can remember being extremely sensitive and empathetic. I went through a lot of emotional and behavioral problems as a child. Now I am more "stabilized", however in my mind it is quiet the contrary. I have every material thing someone my age could want... Even a good family and money. For some reason though all my days are these psychological prisons for me. I constantly have problems. I feel like I am going insane everyday. Every solution I look into I fail. Psychologists, psychiatrists, exercise, medication. I never feel fulfilled. And for you Christians.. YES I tried Jesus.. Went to Christian school my early years.. It just made things worse. Now I have a hate for religion. I just feel like theres no solution. I won't try suicide since I feel bad about my parents since they have given so much to me..Even though sometimes thats all I could think about. I am in constant distress. I don't know why I am this way. If it were a psychological cause I think it would have been pinpointed a long time ago. Lately I've been thinking since I got into the whole alternative ATS type of stuff since last year that I might actually have nothing wrong with me and maybe I see more of the wrong things in society. All the war, environmental problems, hatred, consumerism really affects me to a personal level. I get really riled up. I tried to explain that to some people and they just think I'm crazy. Lately I have just tried to do Astral Projection to see if I could meet my "spirit guide" to see if I could get some insight... Hasn't worked. I try meditation. And sometimes I feel things. But I still haven't reached some form of realization. What should I do? Please no rude comments. I'm not doing this to be a whiny teenager. I truly am writing this out despair and desperation... Trust me. A conspiracy forum wouldn't be my first choice for help... But who knows.

Well my friend. The first piece of advice I have is to breathe. And I mean really breathe a lot, all throughout the day.

Secondly, Meditate. You won't be succesfull at Astral Projection on your first try. It takes a while. However, Meditation can become very easy even after just 5 sessions.

May I ask what kind of diet you have? And how is your school work? I would like to assume you are an A+ student, but perhaps you slack off cause your bored?

~Keeper

reply to post by tothetenthpower


I try the breathing things sometimes. What types of meditations should I do? When I meditate a lot of thoughts arise. I have a healthy diet. No soda, no processed sugars, I try to avoid dairy, I try to get the most organic things possible. But I eat really well compared to other kids. I've always had a taste for all the things kids think are nasty: carrots, asparagus, spinach. Sometimes though I pig out when my anxiety is really high.. And I give in to my guilty pleasure..nutella which has a lot of sugar and fat. My school work is so so. In my psychological evaluations I'm above average. And my practice SAT scores are high. My classes are somewhat advanced. I know with my intelligence I could be top of my class. But you perfectly said it.. I slack off since I get bored. Don't have much motivation. I hate school. Full of ignorant people..

reply to post by dudeitseddy


Well I would agree with you on the ignorant part. It's an integral part of growing up however.

Here's what I suggest.

Start with Chakra meditation, it will ease you along with OOBE's and Astral Projection. I made a nice little thread about it here.

This should help you get going.

As for school, do the best you can my friend. I made the same mistake and screwed around in high school, gave me hella trouble later on.

For friends, try going older. When I was your age all my friends were seniors in high school or university students. They really paved the way to an open mind.

Your diet seems fine for overall healthy and happy.

The number one thing for you is. STAY AWAY FROM LABELS. Don't let anybody tell you that you are "something". Define yourself my friend, don't let psychiatrists and what not do that work for you.

Only you know yourself. You seem to be on the right track, just a brilliant mind bored of the mundane world presented to him.

~Keeper

reply to post by tothetenthpower


Thank you a lot! Very kind of you to take some time apart to help me out. I will try to the Chakra meditations. I will U2U if I get any results. About the older friends. I have wanted older friends but it's very hard for me to meet older people... And I live in Miami. Which is basically a breeding ground for stupidity and ignorance.

I think this is called teen angst, and is perfectly normal.

reply to post by dudeitseddy


Take a university class or workshop. Always a good place to meet new people.

Also, attempt to do at a place where you don't seem out of place and they don't seem out of place.

Older folk are always looking for a smart young person, trust me, we complain about them often enough to appreciate one who makes sense.

It's all about which setting you are in.

~Keeper

reply to post by TheWake


I see where you are coming from.. But if you read my post it said that I have been like this since before being a teenager. I've heard the "oh your a teenager, its normal" a million times. I don't see 99.9% of the teenagers I see act like me. Except for this one girl in my school that is extremely traumatized..

It sounds like you may have been more advanced than the class they put you in.

Instead of looking at others with disdain, do you ever really talk to them or make them question what they believe? Are they not exposed to the same media that you are? Help to raise the intellectual level around you.

Sometimes you might find more intelluctual stimulation around adults or more mature young people. Hanging out with smart people will rub off on you.

Your post seems very self absorbed, and I can't help buit wonder if you might be happier in your life if you find something to do that brings happiness to others.

Sometimes doing for others helps us step outside of ourselves. Many people are neglected and are living in a dismal world too. If you can brighten someone elses world, I think it would affect your outlook as well. Have you thought about doing any volunteer work with the homeless or the elderly?

You might find it a challenge to express peace or hope to others who are sad to the core; but in so doing, you may answer some of your own deep questions.

reply to post by dudeitseddy

I am 16

There, problem solved!!

Sorry, but that jumped right out at me when I read your entire thread.

I feel that, while you may be more aware than the typical 16 year old, you have been flung into the alternative World alittle too early.

The meditation problems you appear to be experiencing, may also be related to rushing into this without adequate research and guidance. This typically leaves a person feeling frustrated at their efforts. As the above poster stated, breath rhythmically and the rest will folllow.

As for your feelings, do you have many friends that you can share time with, i.e. sports, reading, or just plain talking / playing etc? It sounds as if you need to unwind and stop taking the World so seriously - leave that stuff for later when you are more psychologically prepared.

I am in constant distress

I won't try suicide since I feel bad about my parents since they have given so much to me.

These two comments really concern me. For someone so young, you really are taking too much water on board too early in your journey. You need to talk to a professional and be as open as possible. Your feelings need expressing and if you cannot do so, that will build up as stress (seems this is already the case)!

Have a think about the above and be proactive with it. See it as a positive step you need to take while you still can.

reply to post by Alethea


I have tried sharing my ideas and trying to get them to question. When that happens I get made fun of and end up feeling worse. They call me gay and stupid.

reply to post by dudeitseddy


Well there isn't anything wrong with being Gay that's for sure lol.

In any case, they are as you said a little ignorant. Late bloomers as I would call them, too wrapped up in they're MTV illusion to give a damn.

~Keeper

reply to post by tothetenthpower


Yea.. It's like a bunch of mindless drones. Then again I can't help but feel lonely in the midst of it.

I am 16 and in highschool aswell. had the same problem, my personal, personal advice, and i no it will work, is start meditating, and find out what life, not society, really is. your being shunned a wonderful joyful life. Remember, nor physcial matters. its all mental my friend, start thinking differently. pretend as if you were just born, and go through your life and realize all of the pointless crap and drama. allow yourself to think out side of the box, (realizing other alternatives to monetary systems, so on so forth, for this will be the world you live in in 40 years unless you, we, change it. and i for one, want to change it)

Me personally, i see that fine line between right and wrong. i dare not cross it, i am as well very very empathetic, i cant bare hurting someone emotionally. physically i can deal with if its to stop something negative. other than that nothing. i even avoid stepping on ants. life is life, every part of life looks at itself as the center of the universe.

And really really remember, don't let pointless things get to you. love everyone, this makes a breakup much easier.

only extend positive energy, unless its a "at that moment" ordeal and you may be hurt. choose right, not wrong, and question authority for it is not welcome. you must be your own authority. realizing your responsibilities is doing right.

sorry if all of that seemed mixed up, just thinking as i wrote.

reply to post by gandhi


It's not mixed up. Found it quite insightful. I like the fact someone my age could relate with me too. I've always tried to think outside the box like you said specially with authority and the monetary system. I think part of what makes me unhappy is that I feel powerless that I can't change these things. When I meditate, what do I do to look deeper into myself and life?

reply to post by dudeitseddy


It's not about looking for something when you meditate. You have to let the answers flow through you.

The hard part is starting meditation with a clear mind. Once you can clear out all the cludder and focus solely on the meditation at hand, all the answers will come flooding to you.

~Keeper

You've gotten some great advice from some of the previous posters.

I also agree the only way to true self fulfillment is doing for others. Volunteer yourself to something, someone or group - it will be truly rewarding.

I also agree with exposing yourself to older mentors that can meet you on your intellectual level, as you obviously sound above average and need more than public school system garbage to stimulate and challenge you emotionally and intellectually.

Good luck - since you already have so much - that just means you have alot to give!

Originally posted by dudeitseddy
reply to post by Alethea

 

I have tried sharing my ideas and trying to get them to question. When that happens I get made fun of and end up feeling worse. They call me gay and stupid.

I am sorry you are being treated like that. Is there a school guidance counselor available? Many of them are really good people you can talk to about problems and how you are feeling low. Maybe you need gifted classes or maybe early college courses could put you in the realm of others you would consider more of a peer group.

You're just getting a bit too uptight. Loosen up a little. Don't bother with anything new-age. Have fun and enjoy life

High school is the best time of your life (well, at least for me) and it will never repeat itself again. Once you get into college it's still fun but nowhere as close as high school since the college deadlines are stressful.

Originally posted by dudeitseddy
reply to post by Alethea

 

I have tried sharing my ideas and trying to get them to question. When that happens I get made fun of and end up feeling worse. They call me gay and stupid.

I have a younger brother that has the same issues as yourself . He has difficulty engaging with his peers on issues he feels passionate about , but they alas, do not .

There is a lot of anxiety `going around` these times , and i`d be surprised if you weren`t picking up on it. This coupled with the hormonal roller-coaster which is a 16 years life and you have a potent recipe for stress.

ATS is good for challenging your ideas and meeting people with a cornucopia of various beliefs but it can get a `little much` sometimes . There is always some arbitrary date or event hanging overhead, like a sword of Damocles .Sometimes its good to step away from a few days .

Finally.....
There is nothing wrong with you.

Just create a little contrast .....

Time spent online ........ time spent outdoors.
Time debating/thinking about serious issues ........ enjoy something fun & carefree.


So i`ll take my own advice and stop typing.......

[edit on 4-10-2009 by UmbraSumus]