Biblical Banter

The Gospel according to 12.21.12

1 Come hither and I shall show you the Kingdom, from which it was built, from which it is now.

2 From as single blade of grass I have weaved a sweater. It is a testament unto you, in which to go green.

3 I held a light up unto the sweater and it burned not, I tried to tear it and it did not.

4 From this single blade of grass I shall contruct an empire of Glory, so that you shall have many joys.

5 And from this kingdom of Glory, went a magical leprachaun and a wonderful shoe.

6 I shall name all the rivers after a tasty beer and things that are fun to do.

7 Therefor when you look for the kingdom and you see it not you shall say whre is this kingdom, constructed from a single blade of grass.

8 I say unto you, fear not, there are many blades of grass in the field in which I could construct a new empire, but I do not.

9 I took the shoe and delivered it to Lord Gargamel and said bring fourth a smurf.

10 Gargamel looked unto me as if confused, I said to him now shoe. Bring fourth a smurf, he shall live in this shoe.

11 So Gargamel asked, from what nook may I find this smurf and for what shall I look for?

12 You shall look for the kingdom of mushroom and seek out a shoe.

13 The smurf is half the length of a nail and is also blue.

14 Gargamel went to the city of shoe and looked and behold, a kingdom of blue..

14 He sent a foul cat named Jezabel to capture the village, but instead burned it down entirely by mistake.

15 When Gargamel returned he said I went and found the mushroom village, but as for the smurf I did catch it not.

16 I said fear not Gargamel, for this is a test of your patience and your faith, you shall go back to the mushroom village and return me a smurf to live in this shoe.

17 Seven Leprachauns then appeared in front of me and asked, from which end of the rainbow shall I wait with a pot of Gold?

[edit on 28-8-2009 by 12.21.12]

18 Nay I say, would you wait until somebody take your treasure?

19 A Rainbow is only visible from a distance from which end it has none?

20 The Leprechaun Shawn offered unto me a lot of Gold.

21 For why do you give this to me?

22 It is an offering, so that you may make merry.

23 Go fourth leprechauns and gather at whichever end ye shall find. Go and sit on top of the rainbow and make magic.

24 The leprechauns scattered upon the mushroom Kingdom, to bring fourth treasures after the autumn rain.