Did my perception on Gay male / Gay female couples change? Whats wrong with me

Im sorry, Im so bad at coming up titles that are not lengthy...so its a bit confusing!

However, I thought it was interesting to talk about something..hm...perhaps not so common

I was at the Zoo a few days ago, the weather was absoultely lovely, and I enjoyed wading thru and staring at all the beautiful animals and plants, it was truly a delight and knowing myself I generally avoid large crowds because I tend to get insecure about my looks, voice or just how people perceive me in general

But...I do like watching people myself too *snickers*, although I am aware that staring or having a certain mimic can be very disheartening or uncomfy for someone else

So early in the afternoon I saw two bald guys, one with sunglasses, the other one without, big men, and they were holding hands and had their two boys with them, they seemed sooo happy and having fun. Im not sure if they noticed me but after they passed by I kept looking, it gave me a happy feeling!

An hour or something later I passed an info board with a mirror, which was part of some children's game. So I thought "Ok, good moment to check out if my hair's still ok and my clothing still sits right , or my lips are hydrated .... I mean, I thought I was standing there alone

I turned around to move again and saw two women in their early 30's, holding hands, in summerdresses walking my way. I looked at them and I couldnt help
but getting aggravated and walked to a nearby animal fence in some sort of protesting way, like an enraged Tyra Banks would do at a fashion show . I saw from the edges of my eyes that they were a little irritated by it as they moved on

I felt so ashamed and really wondered why I reacted like that, I didnt expect it , I thought I would have been more hospitable

And about myself, I am a "straight" male, having a male body but I think I shouldnt have had a gender/sex to begin with or an androgynous one . I often feel discomfort with the way the world supposedly is, people are strictly this ..or that, even though I prefer women's company and ideas generally.

Im just a little confused why I react like this and why they both gave me such odd unexpected reactions

Im feel a little dissapointed in myself

Something in your subconscious likes men more than women. Don't think about why, it's your subconscious it's a losing battle to fight. What you can do, rather than fight it, is ignore it. accept that it is there, accept that it is wrong, and move on knowing better.

It could be a single slither of chromosome that was suppose to be an x rather than a y, or a slither of protein that bent to produce something in females instead of males. It doesn't matter. The human being can know what is wrong and ignore the inner thoughts that tells them to act on it. The wonder of our species.

[edit on 21-8-2009 by Gorman91]

[edit on 21-8-2009 by Gorman91]

Originally posted by Gorman91
Something in your subconscious likes men more than women. Don't think about why, it's your subconscious it's a losing battle to fight. What you can do, rather than fight it, is ignore it. accept that it is there, accept that it is wrong, and move on knowing better.

It could be a single slither of chromosome that was suppose to be an x rather than a y, or a slither of protein that bent to produce something in females instead of males. It doesn't matter. The human being can know what is wrong and ignore the inner thoughts that tells them to act on it. The wonder of our species.

[edit on 21-8-2009 by Gorman91]

[edit on 21-8-2009 by Gorman91]

Actually, I thought the opposite.

He had no problem with the gay men because because he wasn't interested in them sexually.

With the women it was different because, instinctively, those would be two women who wouldn't be available to him - so he disliked it.

But who really knows! LOL

Not really sure what this has to do with "Relationships"

But what both you said doesnt seems what feels true for me...the protein/chromosome thing is a little far fetched for me and the "Ahww, two less girls for me, poor me!" is not how it felt at all .

I often romantisize gay male couples and I actually bought the Alexander movie because of Colin Farrell and Jared Leto while I am bittered and envious when I read about a happy female couple although I was a huge fan of The L Word series

maybe you connect gender to possibility ?


just fast idea.