WARNING!

Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who goes #2 on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.

Osama bin Laden Jokes

Aw crud. That's the day after my birthday. I usually get a little tipsy, I can't see me being able to hold it in all day.

Is this in the US, or the UK? Will UK bathrooms be safe?

OMG, I'll have to get a catheter or I'll be hopping around all day.

They've already started !!!

I was savaged by a hamster last night just after I returned from a bathroom visit.

We must get this out as soon as possible - the fate of the world is in the balance !

We don't have alligators in Australia.
Does this mean I have to watch out for crocodiles?

Cant guarantee that i wont go for a crap but i'll try not too.