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(DOR)A Bad Day Of Fishing is Better Then

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posted on Jun, 25 2009 @ 11:59 PM
“Shut that off!”

“What do you mean I’m watching that, don’t come storming in here and dema-”

“Shut the hell up and turn it off!”

“Hey! Turn that light on what are you doing?”

“Listen to me please, leave it off! Are the kids sleeping?”

“Yeah, they’re both upstairs. I put them up an hour ago. What are you doing? I said I was watching that.”

“SHSH! Listen Elly, I saw something really bad.”

“Me too but I don’t go around turning the house off. What’s this all about and where is your truck?”

“Me and that guy Ted from work I always talk about went fishing. Like I told you. Right where I always go. Far side of the lake by the old factory. I wanted to get us over to the inlet fast because the stripers started coming through. And we, we.”

“Your shaking Simon and now your scaring me. What happened? What’s this all about? Stop locking everything and tell me!”

“Elly please be quiet and I’ll tell you. Go upstairs and make sure those windows are locked. Get my gun and come back. I’ll tell you in a minute let me make sure the Garage door is locked.”

“This is a bit too much. If something’s wrong call the police or something your acting like a lunatic and scaring me. Please tell me.”

“No! The police know all about it. They had two squad cars blocking the road that goes through the plant. Please go get my gun and check on the kids. Make sure the windows are locked.”

“I’m not doing anything till you tell me what’s going on. You’re all muddy Simon and this is scaring me please.”

“Alright Elly come with me. We were at the lake, Elly, and I wanted to go to the inlet. I know a trail that leads to a hole in the fence at the old plant.”

“Did you get caught trespassing Simon!? Oh great, you and your buddy are fugitives now, this is great.”

“Elly be quiet and listen. I’m serious. We went through the hole in the fence and you have to walk along the inside of the fence between it and a long building. There was a light on in there Elly and we saw something terrible.”

“Simon, please, it’s ok. Tell me. You can’t even catch your breath. You have to calm down and tell me.”

“Elly there were men in there doing terrible things. Some of them were wearing suits and ties and some of them were dressed in robes or something. They, they had a small boy. They tied him to this metal thing. Elly I can’t. They had a mask on him Elly.”

“What are you saying Simon!?”

“They saw us Elly and we ran. We heard cars starting and people yelling. I kept running and I don’t know what happened to Ted. I lost him after we went back through the fence. It was so dark we couldn’t keep together. I ran toward the front of the plant because I remembered seeing two police cars parked in front. When I finally got there, there was one of those guys talking to the policemen and pointing in the woods where I was! So I ran back toward my truck. I almost got there and I could see flashing lights from police cars through the trees. The policemen were looking inside my truck with flashlights. They had their guns out Elly! So I followed the old train tracks and ran back into town.”

“We have to call someone Simon. Who do we call?”

“Get the phone, come on, we have to get upstairs.”

“Simon it’s not working!”

“Hold the rail Elly it’s dark, hurry.”

“Simon did you hear me? The phone isn’t working! Wait. Do you hear that? What is that?”

“Someone pulled up in front. Come on we’ll peak through the window in the hall.”

“It’s a white van. Maybe it’s the phone company Simon. Maybe they are repairing a line or something.”

“SHSH! Come on let me get my gun and we’ll wait in the kid’s room for a minute.”

“Simon I left the television on in here so I could see when I come up. It’s off.”

“The lights aren’t working now Elly. We have no power.”

“Simon I want to get out of here! Get me out of here! I can’t do this.”

“Someones knocking, listen.”

“Simon, it’s Ted open the door, come on!”

“It’s Ted, Elly! Come on.”

“Ted, are you ok? Did you see what they did? How did you get away?”

“Simon, I saw everything. Just like you. I just didn’t anticipate your response. I mean you were always telling me at work how you wished you could have it all. How if you were God you would do this and you would do that. I thought you wanted this Simon. I thought I was a better judge of character.”

“What do you mean? What are you talking about!?”

“Sorry Simon I do have a bit of explaining to do, but why bother? You won’t be around to appreciate it. Ever heard of transyuggothyian magic Simon? No. No I don’t believe you have. Anyway, this was your big chance and you blew it.”
“What’s with the gun Ted? What are you doing?”

“Have you checked the children Simon? Did you make sure they were well?”

“I…I was just up there but I didn’t see them. It was dark. We lost our power.”

“Forgive me one moment please.”

“Who are you talking to on that radio?”

“Cleaners are a go. You may want to bring extra supplies if you know what I mean.”

“Sorry for the interruption. Where was I? Ah yes, bye, bye Simon. Bye, bye Elly. Oh, and nice to finally meet you.”

posted on Jun, 26 2009 @ 10:52 AM
No responses. I am a little worried. Is it way too out there? Is it submitted correctly? Have I done something wrong. Or is my submission correct and you are not supposed to respond to entries? What's up?

posted on Jun, 26 2009 @ 10:54 AM
Hey dont worry, none on mine either. I'm just holding to the whole "No news is good news" thing.

Liked yours though. You presented a good sense of urgency

posted on Jun, 26 2009 @ 12:02 PM
reply to post by Juston

Thanks. It's strange. I sat and thought about the story line for a while. Put it in a word document. Then thought about it again. Then read it five hundred times and finally posted it. Just thought I might have infringed on a rule or something. Thanks for the post.

posted on Jun, 26 2009 @ 02:45 PM
reply to post by jackflap

Magical Story jack,

You wouldn't believe how many times I've had to deal with a little brother running home because something or someone was chasing him down.. to this day I get on him about his Great Adventures

This story takes place in a tight situation to start with and that's my kinda Tale.

Enjoyed it

posted on Jun, 26 2009 @ 04:03 PM
reply to post by OrangeJuice

Thanks OrangeJuice for your opinion. I actually got the idea for the story from two threads here on ats. I don't know why I chose those two out of all the others I read but hey they were good.

One was the royal secret of the illuminati. And the other was men in white trucks. Don't know where one of them went but its gone.

posted on Jun, 26 2009 @ 07:23 PM
reply to post by jackflap

I completely understand where you're coming from. ATS is a treasure mound for a Writer.

A place crawling with mystical beasts, ghosts, Reptillian Politicians, Aliens, etc,... you'd have enough material for many years to come. Along with a great soundtrack to boost the imagination and you're off to first place. and again

Enjoyed the Story.

posted on Jun, 30 2009 @ 02:50 PM
Don't worry too much if no one replies right away to a story, the short story forum doesn't get the traffic like it should. (IMHO.)

I enjoyed the story tremendously and could feel the urgency all the way through. It was well written and I hope it does well in the contest.

Thank you for sharing it with us,


posted on Jun, 30 2009 @ 02:54 PM
reply to post by mrwupy

Thanks for taking the time to read it, and post about it. I appreciate your opinion. Thank you.

posted on Jul, 1 2009 @ 09:33 AM
That was scary! Very good story though. I hate it when characters turn out to be bad and you don't expect it!

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