60 plus generation

I am posting this topic in the psychology section because i would like to know of those who may have some understanding of 60 plus men and if it is the same around the world or if it is just in the western world.
My father and my partners father are very quiet and become insulted by the most minute things, they also like to put their siblings down, like to provoke them, don't want or don't know how to make friends, discus’s about the past all the time and can not let it go.
I try to teach them about things such as the topics on above top secret however they either just stair at me or they become aggressive to me and they are very ignorant. my dad said that ignorance is when someone is ignorant to the knowledge but what’s to know about it but refuse's to learn but he don't give me that chance to teach, since am 26 his 61, they seem bitter and hold a grudge and can not let it go, can anyone here who may of experienced this let me know and what it is with this 60 plus generation, in particular the men?.

[edit on 23-2-2009 by deathpoet69]

my dad said that ignorance is when someone is ignorant to the knowledge but what’s to know about it but refuse's to learn but he don't give me that chance to teach, since am 26 his 61

I'll try and give a go seeing as no one has responded to you yet.

I think I can see a bit of problem from this paragraph alone.
Remember when you were young and didn't like to be preached to by your parents? Well, it becomes reversed sometimes as people age. Parents don't like to be preached to by their kids either.

If you really want these men to learn about all these topics it would be best to print some stuff out and just leave it strategically hanging around where they can find it, if you know what I mean....

Or, just listen to what they have to say. They have seen and learned heaps in their lifetimes and with a little tolerance and a lot of patience you may learn a thing or two you didn't know. Most oldies do open up and really interact without the monotonous speil that they've been spouting for decades if they feel they are really being heard and feel that you are really interested in what they have to say.

I'm sure it will create the flow on effect that you are hoping for where you can both have a meaningful dialogue.

Hope that helps....

[edit on 23-2-2009 by Flighty]

so why do they go on about the past?

A lot of attitudes expressed by "old school" dudes is arrogance of
experience. Even if that "experience" is an illusion.

I am very close to 60 and I experience stupid thinking of my contemporaries almost constantly. I much more prefer the vibrant, critical, off the wall attitudes of the young, even though the young tend
to also have a fair amount of arrogance.

In defense of the "geezers"; as you grow older, you learn to live with almost constant pain as your body wears out. People in pain tend to be focused on themselves, angry, and a little bit crazy. I know I am.

Also the elderly seem to have a calcification of thinking processes and new ideas are hard to conceptualize due to brainwashing of the MSM, the military, public school systems, religion, corporate mindsets, political parties, etc., and thats a lot of programming acquired over the years.

Just humor the old dudes and live your life to the fullest but.....

DON'T drink and drive, wear your sunscreen and use protection

[edit on 23-2-2009 by whaaa]

reply to post by whaaa


Hi whaa i aint seen you for a while, hope yah doing ok.

interesting, you don't even come across near 60 either, i mean my partners mother is intellgent and open but will not open to some people because they wont listen or understand but people like my dad and my partners dad shut off and say "ar its a load of crap" "i can do it myself" "quiet" you cant make a conversation with them unless your on the same ground as them, somtimes they don't like been serious.
Do you mean by pain both physical and mental

reply to post by deathpoet69

they talk about the past because the future holds very little for them and the present is full of people telling them that everything they've ever known is outdated, obsolete and pointless.

perhaps you should listen to what they are trying to tell you when they tell you a story, it is usually a parable regardless of weather or not that's the intention.

Originally posted by pieman
reply to post by deathpoet69

 

they talk about the past because the future holds very little for them and the present is full of people telling them that everything they've ever known is outdated, obsolete and pointless.

perhaps you should listen to what they are trying to tell you when they tell you a story, it is usually a parable regardless of weather or not that's the intention.

is that what they mean by "respect", i asked him what age he had me and he said "don't ask that type of question" I do not get them

reply to post by deathpoet69


i can't really tell ya what he meant by it, i don't know your family circumstance, maybe he didn't want to talk about it just then, maybe he's just in a bad mood, maybe it's hard for him to recall because good memories are painful or maybe he's forgotten.

can you think of a reason he doesn't want to discuss it?

Originally posted by deathpoet69
reply to post by whaaa

 

Hi whaa i aint seen you for a while, hope yah doing ok.

interesting, you don't even come across near 60 either,

dp69, thanks for noticing. I have found the elixir of staying young forever. At least for me.

The sound of a Fender Strat thru a cranked tube amp, mates that appreciate the magic and power of rock and roll, the occasional Corona and.....

Passion for life has to be learned and exercised or else you just slide into
the "glory years" mode of thinking and you stagnate and die inside as well as physically.

Originally posted by pieman
reply to post by deathpoet69

 

i can't really tell ya what he meant by it, i don't know your family circumstance, maybe he didn't want to talk about it just then, maybe he's just in a bad mood, maybe it's hard for him to recall because good memories are painful or maybe he's forgotten.

can you think of a reason he doesn't want to discuss it?

reminds him when i was born when he had problems with the wife ( my mum) she left me i gather, i was told by my partners mother not to discuss about the past that may hurt him because he wants to move on from it, i want to help him get friends and get a woman, his been single far as i know for 26 years from my birth.
He said he likes to go in to pubs that have a friendly atmosphere as if its welcoming were he can part take in conversations but not suddenly, its like he wants to suss everything out first.


[edit on 23-2-2009 by deathpoet69]

reply to post by deathpoet69


i can't imagine being a single father in the 80's was easy. i guess it's a sore spot and, to be fair, you're probably going to do more harm than good by poking at it. you might be too close for comfort.

also, bear in mind that he'll only find the friends, or women, he wants by doing it his way. it's no good to him finding friends that love mountain biking if he wants to go to the pub. let him suss things if he needs to.

reply to post by deathpoet69


Hi poet I am 59, is that close enough?

To me it seems he is stuck in his ways and deals with it the only way he knows how.

My husband will be 60, he is quiet and set in his ways, but when he does speak I listen, because still waters run deep,

Maybe if you could find a way to let him know you are interested in what he has to say, get him to open up, earn his trust, don't try to influence him, let him be the teacher, find common ground then share experiences.

Sounds like he is hurting and has a protective shell around him.

He doesn't trust.

Originally posted by Stormdancer777
reply to post by deathpoet69

 

Hi poet I am 59, is that close enough?

To me it seems he is stuck in his ways and deals with it the only way he knows how.

My husband will be 60, he is quiet and set in his ways, but when he does speak I listen, because still waters run deep,

Maybe if you could find a way to let him know you are interested in what he has to say, get him to open up, earn his trust, don't try to influence him, let him be the teacher, find common ground then share experiences.

Sounds like he is hurting and has a protective shell around him.

He doesn't trust.

Yah, he don't trust anyone really, took his time trusting my wife and he is slowly getting the trust of my wife's mother, he talked to my wifes father but they are all the same age at 60 to 66, i listen to him when his on about somthing important but not when he keeps bringing up things about the past that he is bitter about.

I think alot of older people are set in their ways aint they, some reason though they just seem very weary of todays genreation, the 59-60 year old women however seem talktive but the men seem strange.

Originally posted by pieman
reply to post by deathpoet69

 

i can't imagine being a single father in the 80's was easy. i guess it's a sore spot and, to be fair, you're probably going to do more harm than good by poking at it. you might be too close for comfort.

also, bear in mind that he'll only find the friends, or women, he wants by doing it his way. it's no good to him finding friends that love mountain biking if he wants to go to the pub. let him suss things if he needs to.

what was so hard about the 80s?

the attitudes were different, it would have been harder for a man to understand his partner leaving him and his child and there wouldn't have been the support networks that are available today.

Based on my own personal experiences, I --dislike-- dealing with anyone under 35. There is something about you all that I just don't get. It has seemed to me, anyway, that none of you have a sense of humor, don't --get-- humor, are not able to generate humor. I luuuuuv funny stuff. I remembered when I lived in Chicago next to a major university. There was this newspaper box outside, full of free issues of 'The Onion'. As soon as I immediately look at it, I crack up laughing and laughing. --Only-- me though, NO one else. I --easily-- laugh at insane stuff. Easily. When I was under 35, I had --zero-- humor, but my excuse is, that I was having truly horrible life problems, which I don't have now. I suppose you all will tell me that 'The Onion' staff are all young. My excuse for that is, that they must be extraterrestrials, of some sort.

I wouldn't be surprised if lower testosterone was the cause. Low testosterone brings about moodiness, depression, ect. Estrogen also rises I think as men get older. It is interesting, because the differences between men and women lessen as they get older.

Originally posted by pieman
the attitudes were different, it would have been harder for a man to understand his partner leaving him and his child and there wouldn't have been the support networks that are available today.

yah that is talking sense, thats wht my partners mother said, so he would of been lost in a black hole?

Originally posted by ghaleon12
I wouldn't be surprised if lower testosterone was the cause. Low testosterone brings about moodiness, depression, ect. Estrogen also rises I think as men get older. It is interesting, because the differences between men and women lessen as they get older.

yah it could be a chemical imbalance as well, they get abit moody when you make them inferior than you

Originally posted by simonecharisse
Based on my own personal experiences, I --dislike-- dealing with anyone under 35. There is something about you all that I just don't get. It has seemed to me, anyway, that none of you have a sense of humor, don't --get-- humor, are not able to generate humor. I luuuuuv funny stuff. I remembered when I lived in Chicago next to a major university. There was this newspaper box outside, full of free issues of 'The Onion'. As soon as I immediately look at it, I crack up laughing and laughing. --Only-- me though, NO one else. I --easily-- laugh at insane stuff. Easily. When I was under 35, I had --zero-- humor, but my excuse is, that I was having truly horrible life problems, which I don't have now. I suppose you all will tell me that 'The Onion' staff are all young. My excuse for that is, that they must be extraterrestrials, of some sort.

We find you lot odd, we wundt find an issue of free onion funny at all really, young ones are more forward and more insultive in there way of humour towards others, when we say somthing to you or if I say to a older woman "whiskers" when she has loads of hairs coming out of her chin she finds that disrespectful, i find that funny.