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But I think this post has been long in the coming. It's almost as if all this anger, frustration, and disappointment has been shaking up in some imaginary champagne bottle, and now, finally the cork has blown off, and I cant hold these emotions in anymore. I've had it, I'm sick and tired of all these things in my life that keep pushing me down.
this is not the first time it's happened to me ... it keeps happening over and over again like an endless cycle of torture. Each time, I lose a part of myself, each time my disappointment increases, my frustration grows, and I've reached a stage where all I can do is hope for a miracle. I need some kind of magic to elevate my life and mind. I feel so lost, my dreams seem so far from reality. This was supposed to be my moment ! The moment when I would make my dreams come true.
I'm not intelligent enough.
That simple statement hurts me soo much. I thought, if nothing else, at least I will have my intelligence. I'm not good looking, my personality is crap, and now even my mind is letting me down. I've always strived to be the best person that I can be. I have always tried to be kind and nice to everyone, I've tried to be a good person...
Today I'm shattered, I am a very ambitious person, and today I am wounded. I have lost my pride, my self respect, my confidence. I know I will keep trying, I may feel bad today, but I will keep trying ... but surely the time has come for some kind of reward !? I know this sounds cheesy ... but thats how it is. Perhaps I am selfish, you may say that I'm not really a good person, because true goodness means I should be selfless, expect nothing in return. That is true, but then I must ask you if you are really good. I will keep trying to be a good person, a truly good person, but I am human, and that human in me is crying out today.
Originally posted by siddharthsma
I tend to compare myself with others, and everyone here is smarter than me !