I'm Ashamed Of Myself.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!
Might just be the best day of the year. I received the final Christmas present in the mail about 20 minutes ago. Addressed to my son from Mickey Mouse, it's a confirmation of a trip to Disney World.
I'm not above pointing out my faults, and this is a big one. I called out for tomorrow (Christmas Eve) at the Soup Kitchen. The reasons are non important, but to me it IS important that I spend this day with my son.
Do they need my help at the Soup Kitchen? Probably, although they will get by.
Does my Son need me on Christmas Eve? Probably. But the difference between need and want are open for debate.
Do I need to be with my Son on Christmas Eve? Yes. This year I have to say YES. Not open for debate in my heart. I MUST be there for him.
I hate myself for turning my back on my friends at the Soup Kitchen, but I would do the same thing every time.

reply to post by lombozo


Take care of your own first, bro. There's no shame in that.

Take your son down to the soup kitchen for a couple hours and help out a little.

Best of both worlds.

reply to post by lombozo


There's no reason for you to feel guilt. There are other people who can work the soup kitchen but your son only has one father to make him feel special and loved by spending Christmas Eve with him.

I like Ben's idea. Is it possible to have the best of both worlds and invite your son along to partake in your charity work? I guess it would depend on your son's age, what you have planned for tomorrow night (big family event or just the two of you), and if the soup kitchen is a safe environment.

If that idea is not workable, then it is 100% understandable to choose your son over charity work. I respect my mother immensely for her heavy involvement in charity organizations but I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt when I was sick as a child, in the hospital, needed help with my homework, needed someone to talk to, or left for college and my mother was nowhere to be found because she was so busy with one of her causes. It would have been nice if just once she had told them her kids needed her therefore she couldn't attend or participate.

So basing my opinion on experience, I say you are doing the right thing. As noble of a cause it is to volunteer in a soup kitchen, your son needs you as well so I support your decision.

reply to post by lombozo

The thing that "hit"me in you're OP, is that when you're are cabeble of having these thoughts, you shall not feel any guilt about what you choice will be. You already made it...
Enjoy the day with you're son

Lom, buddy.... you've done more than your share at the Kitchen, I'm sure they undestand you wanting to be with your family. Also, I'm sure they'll have enough help to get through the day.

I understand you needing to be there with your son, make sure you are and enjoy that time, they grow so fast.

Disney, Yay for Disney, I want to go...

Don't feel bad for turning your back on the people you help,you help them enough as it is. Time for you to help yourself for a change. And besides,Blood is thicker than soup (well,metaphorically at least)

You know darn well you have many friends there that will understand.
You are loved much by many for all the things you do.
Whether it's serving up a big meal, or just making them laugh. It all goes the same way.
You are far too hard on yourself sometimes and you need this occasionally...
More than happy to give you that.
Now stop it, or I'll come down there and open up a can of whoop ass on you.
Don't you have cookies to bake or something???
Besides..next year, you'll have more than one extra pair of hands.

Your son comes first, my friend...as important as helping others is, your family comes first, as it should. If you weren't the decent man you are, you wouldn't feel the guilt you do...you can bet the soup kitchen folks would and will understand...

You got room for one more on that Disney trip? Promise, I won't take up much room at all...

My own experience teaches that they will need your help more on January or February 25 than on December 25.

Everyone wants to help the poor "when God is watching." But super bowl sunday, not so much. Or on Friday night, mardi gras, St. patty's day, or any other excuse for a bender.

Your kid only gets this christmas once. The poor you have with ye alway.



Wait, did somebody already say that?

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[edit on 23-12-2008 by dr_strangecraft]

reply to post by dr_strangecraft


Totally agree there.
I remember a couple of Holiday's helping out. It was almost sad, in a way.
People (local politicians especially) elbowing each other to put a scoop of soup into a bowl. Then there are all those other non-holidays, when people are still hungry and poor.

Lombozo, there is no reason to feel guilty, or to be ashamed. You're a good guy, and there are plenty of days in the year to show your kindness towards others!