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Can you save someone who doesn't want to be?

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posted on Nov, 29 2008 @ 12:53 PM
Alright... This is as interesting as it is pacarious.

My fiancee is not real street smart or... Well, let's just say this: she thinks I'm craz on the subject. She ignores the olive drab bag sitting idly by the back door, knowing it's contents and wonders what's wrong with me.

Truth be known; I love her and wold hate to see anthing happen to her and have wanted to starrt building herr own BOB, but she thinks I'm paraniod and all the other fun stuff we get called. So here it is folks: For the discussion of ATSers World Wide...

Would you save the one you love (or help them by making them a BOB) even if they don't want one? I know how I am approching it, but want to know what all of you out there might think. Is it a bigger liability to have someone not survival smart with you? One can move quieter than two... Three can keep a secret if two are deaad... Pick the quote... What would you do?

posted on Nov, 29 2008 @ 05:53 PM
You would be surprised how often I am asked similar questions. There is no right answer for all only the right answer for you.

In my opinion if you love her and you want to take the time and energy to get her prepared, go ahead. I would get your self an old collapsible lunch cooler and pack a small bob into it and just leave it in a closet.

this serves a couple different purposes. First it will give her a small bob to help take the pressure off yours should the need to bug out arise. Two by putting it out of her site she wont even know about it so she wont think your crazier then she did before.

I am so glad my wife shares the same Passion for living as I do.

posted on Nov, 30 2008 @ 11:43 AM
My wife thinks i'm nuttier than a fruitcake when it comes to survival. I would prefer to save her too, but i will leave her behind in an instant to save my kids. Like angryamerican said, all situations are different. Make her a bag, get her a weapon, and all the supplies she'll need, just don't tell her about it. Take her out shooting to get her proficient. Just make it seem like a fun activity you want to share with her.

posted on Nov, 30 2008 @ 12:08 PM
The quick and simple answer: no, you can't save someone who doesn't want to fight to live.

But there are things you can do to help them be prepared in case they change their mind. My wife and kids think I am completely nuts. But I keep the medications away from them as much as humanly possible. I don't buy that nail gun; I make my son learn to swing a hammer. I have him dig post holes by hand. I aggravate them about wanting a garden and spend more energy teaching them to work it than it would take for me to just do it all. I let the house get chilly sometimes.

Some might see all this as being mean, especially if I was open about doing it all on purpose. I see it as getting them prepared.

I don't really have a BOB. I have stashes hidden all around here instead. Should we have to make a run for it (which wouldn't be a far run, since I live at the edge of a pretty big wilderness), I know where to go to get what we all need to survive. I would also be thinking in such a situation of those relatives who would have no chance of survival without help; I have mental maps through that wilderness to the back of their homes.

So, yes, I can help them; I can get them prepared whether they know it or not. But when it comes down to survival after a collapse, the decision will be theirs. My first thought will be for survival of my children, so my wife (and others) will at some point have to pull her own weight (at least a part of it anyway).

God, typing this sounds so cruel. It hurts me to even talk about this. But it has to be discussed. Star and Flag for the OP.


posted on Nov, 30 2008 @ 12:21 PM
reply to post by TheRedneck

Well said. Straight and to the point.
I couldn't have said it better.

posted on Nov, 30 2008 @ 02:34 PM
Years back during the cold war I often used to get people saying to me
" If there is a nuclear war I hope I get killed in the first strike because i dont want to live in a destroyed world".

I usually replied, " OK thats fine, its your right to choose, BUT, Who is going to take care of your Husband/ Wife/ Children after you have gone if they survive the attack ?"

That usually in one form or another did the trick, telling a mum that her kids will be left to fend for themselves in a post apoc world is often enough to make them turn into rabid survivalists,, Could you possibly find something your girl adores that she would not want left fending for itself if she got wiped out?

[edit on 30-11-2008 by Northern Raider]

posted on Nov, 30 2008 @ 05:14 PM
My partner lets me get on with it with regards to having to bug out.

She does not care to much but she would leave if we had too. Well so she has just told me.

posted on Dec, 1 2008 @ 08:00 AM
Wow! Thank you all so much for that valuable input! I have gone forward and done what ANGRYAMERICAN had suggested, I was already getting the essentials together as I posted the post.

I think it's a sore subject. You certainly don't want to say "Told you so and fend for yorself" to the one you love, but at the same time, you can't push a rope.

Has anyone else had this occur to them? If so, how did it change (if any) down the line?

posted on Dec, 2 2008 @ 08:47 PM
reply to post by Jkd Up

It most likely won't change, depending on who your trying to convince, and how blind they are to worldly events. If you can it will take time.

posted on Dec, 2 2008 @ 10:26 PM
My problem isn't being prepared. It is that certain people try to undermine what I have done. I have one neighbor that will drop by and "borrow" a can of this or that because she is too lazy to go to the store. I had knee surgery and a co-worker offered to rent a room from me to help out with expenses. He thinks my supplies are his own private store. One of my first posts on ATS was in the survival thread about being prepared. I made the quote about not telling anyone what you were doing. I got negative responses about my being greedy and hateful. They both say I am over reacting, but it will be the same people that will want me to bail them out when the SHTF.

posted on Dec, 5 2008 @ 08:54 AM
reply to post by Jkd Up

I don't think your fiancee doesn't want to be saved, I think it's probably more likely she doesn't share the same worries and ideas about survival and what possibily could happen in the future.

As others have said construct a BOB for her and stash it away somewhere in the house, at least its there if it was ever needed.

posted on Dec, 5 2008 @ 09:02 AM
This post has been as good for her as for me. She sees that there is a good reason we are preparing. All except for the zombie attacks
But hey... I'm not gonna get my head munched

I guess there isn't anything more fun than explaining someone what the real world is about and seeing the sugar coating of society become ammonia and the glossy vaneere become a gray film.

SHYSTARGAZER: I'm sorry you are going through that. I guess that's why I keep all of it to myself. My kids live with the Ex and... Well, I'm not too intrested in saving her, but I do have provisions for the kids. My only hope is that if I ever do have to grab the BOB, it's on a weekend I have them.

Letches are inevidable. But I am sorry that that is happening. Another sad look at how lazy and gluttoness society has become.

posted on Dec, 5 2008 @ 09:17 AM
reply to post by Jkd Up

What people need to realise is how unprepared the most of us actually are.

If theres a traffic jam on the motorway that lasts 4 hours for example and its freezing cold outside and snowing then your going to have a pretty miserable experience.

If however you have a large warm coat, a 2-litre bottle of water, maybe some food or protein bars and a blanket in the back of your boot then the whole scenario is going to be a lot more comfortable and easier to deal with.

A few simple items that aren't expensive and easy enough to stash in the boot of your car would make a massive difference.

We underestimate how seemingly simple small things can make massive differences.

I bet you a pound coin that not many carry the above items in the boots of their cars, but if they found themselves in the scenario described above they would of wished they did!

posted on Dec, 5 2008 @ 12:32 PM
reply to post by Death_Kron

*applauding you* VERY well put! Hard to get any plainer than that! Sure, you might not have the escape plan from the city, but at least have something set up so that if there's a run on the stores, you got a little something to hold you over.

You can only plan for what you can see in your minds eye. I have a hard time thinking that zombies will atttack, but if they do, I got the shovel ready... It works! I saw it on Shaun of the Dead!!!

posted on Dec, 5 2008 @ 02:16 PM
I guess I'm one of the lucky few who doesnt have a sig. other that thinks Im a lunatic.

Granted, she relies way too much on me as far as knowledge or supplies go, but she has begun working on a BOB, is taking firearms training, and is learning some "survival" techniques that I am either lacking in or dont care a whole lot for. Such as leather sewing, and knitting. No, I'm not being sexist, she enjoys that while I dont. She isnt much for setting snares, but I love to do it. Works out well.

Getting her from the point of being a typical, nothing bad will happen, to this point wasnt the easiest thing in the world, but it happened. I suggest starting very small. Yes, the small hidden BOB is a good idea, but as we all know on here, attitude is the most important thing in a survival situation. Just having some basic supplies will hold you and her over for the short term, but long term there are going to be some real issues that come up, could include life and death, something I'm sure you really dont want to deal with.

Start small, like theredneck posted about manual labor, doing without, plan family exercises that involve going outside learning new skills, solar ovens are fun and can save money.

Move into "survival" topics slowly, mention a news story about a guy who got lost in the woods and froze to death, ask simple questions like what would you do if that happened? Talk about the Mumbai disaster and pose similar questions.

If you can slowly show people that planning for the worst isnt just some fanatical concept, but could actually save lives in real situations happening around the world, you stand a better chance to someday have them bagging leaves with you for the next days water.

Good luck, keep us posted on any progress.

posted on Dec, 5 2008 @ 02:42 PM
I'd like to share a little event that happened only a week ago. Sometimes my wife looks at me like I'm a little nuts getting together a survival kit, first aid supplies and basic security items like a fire extinguisher and such.

I've only managed to get my first aid kit to a satisfactory level a month ago and all the while equipping it she kept asking me why I needed all that stuff, until last weekend, a plumber who was doing some work in the basement cut himself, badly tripping and falling on a cut pipe still kind-of sticking out of the wall. Nothing too serious, but still a nasty cut requiring stitches. Took me only a few minutes to stop the bleeding, disinfect the area and bandage the wound. No fuss, all items on stock in doubles. The guy was quite happy with the job I did, but the ultimate reward was the acceptance and approval from my wife.

Kind regards.

posted on Dec, 5 2008 @ 02:49 PM
reply to post by Manawydan

Great story! Thank you! Yes, med Kits are great to have but better yet is the knowledge on how to use them.

Taking an EMT or First Responder course is the easiest way to show those you love how much you love them. Because at some point... The knowledge will be used and (unfortunatly as it seems) it always seems to happen to someone you love.

posted on Dec, 6 2008 @ 10:26 AM
reply to post by Death_Kron
Carrying simple items like that are common sense anyways. Even if it's just for the possibility of being stuck in a traffic jam for awhile.
The only problem is my truck don't wear boots, so i can't stash anything in one

posted on Dec, 6 2008 @ 10:42 AM
Well, we've had a break through... I've convinced her to try winter camping. But it's still up in the air as to wether or not it will be survival... She's hell bent on bringing her make up.

posted on Dec, 6 2008 @ 10:50 AM

Originally posted by Jkd Up
Well, we've had a break through... I've convinced her to try winter camping. But it's still up in the air as to wether or not it will be survival... She's hell bent on bringing her make up.

Let her have her luxuries for now. Don't try to take them away too fast, it'll make it harder to convince her. Slowly ween her of them. One time, have her leave something at home. The next time, something else. After awhile it'll be easier to get her to leave it all at home.

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