Alternatives to swearing

I am pretty sure something like this has been done before, but not recently so I am having a go again now.
We all have moments when we feel the urge to use an expletive but in certain company it is usually not taken too kindly so we have to use alternative to get our point across.
There are the ever popular F....udge and SH.....ugar as well as Bovine Faeces and STUFF happens (Or for the more highbrow - Faeces Occurs)
I would like to here what some people say and do...

As a huge George Clinton fan, I like to use the word FUNK alont.

ie; "What are you going to do tonight?"

"Man I am gonna get FUNKed UP!!"

Originally posted by VIKINGANT
We all have moments when we feel the urge to use an expletive but in certain company it is usually not taken too kindly...

That's when I change company.

My former job was as a receptionist with a construction company. I now work in a school. Talk about changing gears.. and language LOL

Here are a few of my ... "expletives" :

Donkey Dust ( instead of BS )
Fiddle sticks
Holy Cow ( an old standard instead of holy feces lol )
Crud bombs
oh SHOOT!
Tartar Sauce ( thank you Sponge Bob )
Holy Macaroni & cheese !!
oh, POO!

I often find the word "pap" is good when describing sh*t or rubbish.

Sounds good in context and most people seem to get the drift.

What a load of "pap!"

The Colonel Potter Character from MASH had a lot of good ones:
Here's a short list of some favorites I gathered.

horse hockey
mule fritters
monkey muffins
buffalo bagels
buffalo chips
pigeon pellets
pony pucks
beaver biscuits
cow cookies
bull cookies
road apples
hot sausage

I say "Holy Guacamole" sometimes.
I believe I borrowed that from a Muppet..an evil Muppet that was a regular on Saturday night live, in the first Season.

[edit on 12-11-2008 by spacedoubt]

Some of the things I say when in mixed company are:
Horse Biscuits
86 those sentiments
Oh, crud
Why, that motherless mule will get his!
Grind them gears, man

As someone who invents new obscenities in moments of anger or stress, I will admit that my favourite expletive substitute in polite company is courtesy of Father Ted....

"Oh....FECK!"

Simple, easy, memorable....

Cx

Originally posted by nerbot
I often find the word "pap" is good when describing sh*t or rubbish.

Sounds good in context and most people seem to get the drift.

What a load of "pap!"

I am guessing you are a male and have never had a pap smear. LOL

Holy COLD METAL DUCK BILLS!!

I also have a few words I like to 'hide' sometimes.

Richard Cranium
Clever donkey
Porcine Rectum
Khyber Pass (as in stick it in your...)

spacedoubt,
I have always loved Potterisms...They crack me up sometimes

Phookin (thanks late)

Rush

In my case I have been known to on rare occasions either yell out (mostly in private) or in occasional e-mail use the term "DargFark"!!! It sounds rude but it's meaningless. I got that term from a old video game where you had to dial up and enter a certain word to play the game on the computer. I like it. It sounds rude but doesn't offend.

There is always the obvious like kicking and screaming or something done under one's breath like mumbling and grumbling.

Holy moly!
Loser!
FOOLS!
Idiots!
Dumb idiots!
"Dye"!

My absolute favorite euphemism?

"That cheeses my biscuit!"

I have no idea where it came from, it just slipped out one day and has been a running joke ever since.

Recently, after viewing some videos of Tourettes Guy on youtube, we've both been substituting "BOB SAGET!" for explicatives.

In public, anyway. We're rather colorful with the F-word as an objective modifier in the privacy of our own home. *embarassed*


*edit for accidentally cheesing the spelling biscuit.



[edit on 11/12/08 by GENERAL EYES]

I say them in either Italian, Portuguese or Russian and it seems to work. Technically it's still swearing but if they don't understand it whats the difference? :w:

I censor myself with an audible BEEP.

Go and BEEP yourself.

It works. Granted, I might as well use the actual words at the point. But oh well.

I like swearing,it's big and clever. But at the times where I have to hold it in,I use daft words instead. (cos the times i have to bite my tounge,there are usually children preset) But I ad lib it all the way. Can range from random household objects like "oh FLOWER POTS!!!" Or random made up words like "fliberty jisollops" What ever comes into my head first. When breaking the swear filters on websites like this one,I usually go for a subtle misspelling,or the ye olde french connection UK approach.

Originally posted by schrodingers dog

Originally posted by VIKINGANT
We all have moments when we feel the urge to use an expletive but in certain company it is usually not taken too kindly...

That's when I change company.

same here Sdog. I don't trust anyone who won't use the f-word. I have a great link, but I don't know if I can post it here.....search Monty Python's "Many uses of the F-word" on Killsometime.com. One of my bookmarked favorites.

I grew up in the logging industry. I was a "chicken coop" weigh scale operator for a couple of summers. I had no chance for eloquence.