posted on Nov, 1 2008 @ 03:12 PM
reply to post by Gehennasoul
Of course she's picking fights. She is looking for control in one area of her life. She has no control over her sickness and what it is making her
feel, so she looks for control where ever she can find it. Throw anger into the mix with looking for some semblence of control, and you have picking
You realize what she is doing now, so that is a good thing. You have something to work with.
Recognize what she is doing, and calmly and subtly call her on it. Don't get in her face and call her an angry control-freak, but be subtle about
calling what she is doing what it is.
Example with the phone thing when she pointed out the reason for her snarkiness:
Her: You didn't call me back!!
You: Honey, my phone died.
Her: Well, you could have called me back!!
You: Would you like me to pull over, find a pay phone, and call you to tell you my phone died and I was just letting you know? In the future, if
that happens, that's what I will do. I don't want you to feel bad or to get angry.(say it nicely and seriously and not snarky)
While she ponders your calm response, say: I'm home now and is there anything you need me to help you with?
My boyfriend would do that a lot and I had no comeback for it and it diffused my anger (not to mention confusing the hell out of me at first).