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And I Finally Have The Awaited Answer...

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posted on Oct, 7 2008 @ 03:02 PM
Star and Flag Please...Important information inside...

Being a member here for a short time I have come to notice the redundancy of some posts, the idiocy of some claims, and the repugnant arrogance of some comments. So I took to time out to come up with a solution that would help the community who has vital information and thoughts to offer, as well as my cause. Being mostly an ATS viewer/contributor, I began to look at the name of the site I am at so much: AboveTopSecret. But what does it mean to be "above top secret?" I would suppose that anything out of the norm that is not openly discussed in society...providing vital information that one would need to understand various factal views of the world today. So without further ado, I present to the entire ATS/BTS Community the effort I have went through to help out:


That's right! With this revolutionary device, if you are at odds with information being presented, you no longer have to embarass yourself here. Simply turn on your Cow-Dung-O-Meter and it will instantly let you know if the information presented is worthy of your valuable time.

But wait, that's not all! If you order now, I will throw in a second Cow-Dung-O-Meter at no additional cost...That's TWO for the price of ONE!!! And if you act within the next 24 hours, I will throw in the revolutionary Cow-Dung-A-Tron! This additional attachment will instantly reach out through your internet connection and slap the dog-mess out of the individual claiming dis-info and spreading random idiocy.

So you get two Cow-Dung-O-Meter's and one Cow-Dung-A-Tron for the unbelievably low price of $19.95.

All proceeds will go to the Help Send A Redneck to Skool College Fund

posted on Oct, 7 2008 @ 03:16 PM
Does that measure the level of Cow Dung in increments of "crock"? For instance;

DING!!!! This submission has been rated at 2.3 Crocks of Cow Dung

I certainly hope that is the convention used.....we wouldn't want to be running around measuring Cow Dung in something silly, like smoots.

Oh....if I order now, will they arrive in time for the holidays?

posted on Oct, 7 2008 @ 03:19 PM
Bloody ridiculous post. While I share the sentiment that we must rid ATS of the hoaxing crap, this post does absolutely nothing to help and in fact only adds to the pile of steaming crap that you are talking about.

No star, no flag and lots of

posted on Oct, 7 2008 @ 03:31 PM
Right you are MrPenny. Crocks is the now standard measurement of COW DUNG...Please allow 3-4 weeks for delivery. Thanks for your interest in my product.

@ Kryties - Did you happen to notice the forum I posted this in? I have to dissagree...while you believe that this in no way helps out anything, I have invented what I feel is a must for all the members of ATS/BTS. If you're not going to place an order, please find someone else to poke.

posted on Oct, 7 2008 @ 03:35 PM
Was this supposed to be funny?

If your device truly worked, it would have prevented you from posting this garbage.

Now your worthless thread is buried in the Jokes, Puns, & Pranks section of BTS. How does it feel to know about 4 people will see your attempt at humor?

How embarrassing.

posted on Oct, 7 2008 @ 03:56 PM
reply to post by NovusOrdoMundi

Sorry, but you have failed to understand the physics I have implemented. It does not prevent posts, I never claimed it did and you would understand that if you would read the first post...thanks. And regardless where it is "burried at" does it make any difference? I guess not since you replied to it.

And you are entitled to feel it is worthless, but if I am supposed to believe that you will have to remove your right foot from my Give-A-Damn and politely mail it back...Thank a bunch

posted on Oct, 8 2008 @ 03:39 PM
I tried using your cow-dung-o-tron-of-toxic-waste and all i found was this thread...weird.

I DID however think up this wonderous definition of below top secret that just might allow threads like this a definition.

Below Top Secret - Anything inside the norm that is openly discussed in private...providing worthless information that no one would need to understand limited views of the world today

posted on Oct, 8 2008 @ 08:05 PM
reply to post by screamo

I'm sorry, but you have not understood that this does not find anything, rather determine what you have found to be a CORCK OF COW DUNG. I have intently explained this in a very simple manner and there are some great elementary books that will help you understand the fundamentals of the initial post. That being said, I have had no orders yet, thus, no sales. There is no way you would have possibly received one either since it takes 3-4 weeks for delivery. I believe you had a bad attempt at a joke.

If there is any need to mock my invention, please atleast buy one first so as to have a leg to stand on. Remember, all proceeds go to the Help Send A Redneck To Skool College Fund.

posted on Oct, 8 2008 @ 08:18 PM
What's the matter with some of you????

That was funny and I'm ordering two sets.

"Send a redneck to skool fund " is good too.


posted on Oct, 9 2008 @ 08:13 AM
reply to post by Roper

And we finally have an order!!!

Thank you for your interest in this revolutionary product. Since no orders had been placed the time for the additional COW-DUNG-A-TRON has been extended.

Don't forget to tell your friends

posted on Oct, 9 2008 @ 02:22 PM
Some people just don't get it.

"Hey what's this thread here in the Jokes and Pranks forum?"
"Oh man, this guy must be serious about this! What a waste of ATS time!"
"Oh Gawd!!!!"

Seriously people, what are you so worked up about?

It's a joke. Thus the jokes and pranks forum.

I found it funny. Almost as funny as peoples serious reaction to this thread.

posted on Oct, 9 2008 @ 02:54 PM
reply to post by nyk537

Actually, I initially posted this in Skunk Works...a moderator moved it for me and I actually thanked him because I totally neglected the BTS Jokes and Pranks forum. I was sure this would bring some humor to someone just by the way I typed it, but I guess not. Doesn't matter though...I have revolutionized a method of determining COW-DUNG, so those who post COW-DUNG and don't want people to buy my product are generally going to be negative. Sux to be them because my foundation has already made over $100 in sales!

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