Severe Disability: A womans' opinion?

Well i'm not sure anyone knows this, being as i'm a unassuming quiet poster, if you will, but i have late stage duchenne muscular dystrophy: ie, cant breathe on my own, walk, eat by mouth, lift or move my limbs, etc.

anyways to be honest it makes me a bit self-conscious about myself and i lose confidence when thinking about my dependence, becoming a burden and not being able to satisfy a woman, etc. so i'm wondering how women feel about being with a severely disabled guy so i might understand what to focus on to attract a woman.

I think if a woman is in love, it won't matter what your disabilities are. If my husband were to become disabled tomorrow, I'd do whatever I could to take care of him. I'd do it out of love.

If I were single and met someone disabled, I'd know full ahead of time what would be involved. If a woman truly loves you, no disability would stand in the way.

Just be yourself, that's all you should do.

I agree with the poster above.

If a woman can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth keeping around in the first place.

There are plenty of severely and moderately disabled people who've gotten married, gotten jobs, had kids, etc.

Have you checked out E Harmony or any of the sister sites? Don't brush that thought off, if you haven't, I'd check it out. Sometimes, getting to know someone on the internet through text and pictures, being FORCED to communicate, one can develop a relationship that is more than just skin deep.


Anyway, good luck to ya man.

Very brave I must say for anyone to dip their toes into the dating pool. It's not something I would want to do again.

I would say that a sense of humor can win women over to any guy. The funny guy is never alone, as long is he is genuinely good humored. So if you have a positive attitude, and can tell a great joke, I'd say keeping women interested shouldn't be a problem.

Best of luck!

There's a guy I saw in one of the pubs I like to visit who was pretty badly disabled. He seemed to be attracting women left and right with his humour. He even had me in stitches laughing... I obviously wasn't attracted to him though, just to clear that up.

Not being a women myself, I would think that in their eye's, seeing a guy who obviously has difficulties with things, yet is able to laugh and joke is a huge plus, I think, and is probably a very attractive trait to have.

On a similar topic, there's a guy I know who, to be polite, isn't exactly the slimmest or best-looking of people but yet he can "pull" some really beautiful women. I have no idea how he does it but it's great to see people who are so far up their arse's look at him and think, "WTF?!". He's like my "pulling" guru!

Originally posted by xeroxed88
There's a guy I saw in one of the pubs I like to visit who was pretty badly disabled. He seemed to be attracting women left and right with his humour. He even had me in stitches laughing... I obviously wasn't attracted to him though, just to clear that up.

Not being a women myself, I would think that in their eye's, seeing a guy who obviously has difficulties with things, yet is able to laugh and joke is a huge plus, I think, and is probably a very attractive trait to have.

On a similar topic, there's a guy I know who, to be polite, isn't exactly the slimmest or best-looking of people but yet he can "pull" some really beautiful women. I have no idea how he does it but it's great to see people who are so far up their arse's look at him and think, "WTF?!". He's like my "pulling" guru!

Told ya. A great sense of humor can make literally anyone into Casanova.

Originally posted by namehere
Well i'm not sure anyone knows this, being as i'm a unassuming quiet poster, if you will, but i have late stage duchenne muscular dystrophy: ie, cant breathe on my own, walk, eat by mouth, lift or move my limbs, etc.

anyways to be honest it makes me a bit self-conscious about myself and i lose confidence when thinking about my dependence, becoming a burden and not being able to satisfy a woman, etc. so i'm wondering how women feel about being with a severely disabled guy so i might understand what to focus on to attract a woman.

check your u2us - no wait it doesnt work. umm do some online research and you will find your answer and i would be optimistic to say the least.

[edit on 28-9-2008 by Arsenio Hall]

Yeah it really shouldnt matter. It wouldnt matter with me anyways. I dont see any problem with it if I really liked the person.

i would focus on your confidence and happiness.

i know that sounds silly and like a paradox, but people dont usually find themselves attracted to people who are super shy or consistently down.

i would find a place that you think has the type of women you are attracted to and just talk to people. and talk about alot of things. dont focus on yourself.

i know that alot of people will say that ¨it shouldnt matter¨, but with strangers sometimes unfortunately it does. if you can get past the ¨stranger¨ phase with some people, they will learn to appreciate you.

i hope that helps

The most interesting and sexist thing about another human being, in my opinion, is their mind. And yours seems to be working fine.

No matter how great a man's body looked or performed he would not be attractive to me if he was unable to stimulate my mind.

I have friends that are disabled. Some of them I've dated and had a wonderful relationship with.

The physical act of showing love truly is very nice. But there is a higher level of oneness when two minds come together as one. It is a much deeper intense feeling when it is perfected. I enjoy it imenseley.

You can have a wonderful relationship using the power of your mind.

Best wishes to you my friend.

reply to post by namehere


Like others have said, a good sense of humour gets you a long way, and love is unconditional

Well, I'm not a woman, but I am another disabled guy and thought I'd chime in. I sympathize with you. Some of the advice given here is good. Personality and a sense of humor is a great thing.
We have the added stigma of being disabled though. Women tend to view us as innocent and non-sexual beings so we have to work hard to fight that. Project confidence, be a nice guy, but still be assertive, flirt.
Just like with able-bodied people, you will most likely get shot down more than you succeed, just don't get too discouraged.

As a fellow disabled person, although not quite in the wheelchair yet, I have Multiple Sclerosis and sometimes it is so severe that I need the assistance of my husband for simple things, such as bathing, walking, and eating.

I understand how you feel. Before I met my husband, it baffled me how someone would choose to spent their life with someone like me- who could very well be totally dependant upon them at some point in the relationship. Luckily, he saw past my illness and had a personal experience with MS in his past, so he has compassion for what I go through.

I think the most important aspect of finding someone that you can have a relationship with (outside of the internet) is meeting women in your area that have a similiar disability or personal relationship to the disease, because only then will they truly understand- and not resent you. There is also a website www.dating4disabled.com... which you may have better luck finding someone that fits best with you.

The most critical aspect to any relationship being withstanding- is common ground and understanding. If I had never found my husband, I likely would of used a website or another dating board to date someone with my same illness. Because only then, will they beable to understand what it is like to be me