posted on Aug, 11 2008 @ 04:16 PM
There are many variables to everyones situation.
It would depend on whether you can devote as much time to your parent as they need , without sacrificing too much of your own life. A lot of marriages
have been stressed to the breaking point over this issue. A proper facility that can take care of your parent, should be an option, if it is within
close proximity to you, and affordable, and well maintained with caring staff. The problem is that many people forget to visit due to busy lives of
their own, and the parent feels neglected. It's difficult for a child to take care of a parent with dementia or Alzheimers, or a physical disability.
Some parents would not want to be looked after by their own children. They may feel a loss of dignity especially if incontinent, or need aid in
When I was a child, I helped look after my father who was bedridden for 3 years, while my mother worked long hours to pay the bills. It was very hard
for both of us. He passed away in hospital, where they made him as comfortable as possible.
When my mother became infirm, there was no question that I wanted her to be home, where I could look after her. She wouldn't here of it. She knew how
difficult it would be. Two days before she was to come home from the hospital, she passed away. I believe it was what she wanted.
Of course it is natural for us to want to give back to our parents all the kindness that was shown to us growing up. It just may not always be what is
best for them. It's not always a black and white situation.