Please Help This Person Find A Job !

(This individual seeks an executive position. He
>>> will be available in
>>> January 2009, and is willing to relocate.)
>>>
>>>
>>> RESUME
>>>
>>> GEORGE W. BUSH
>>>
>>> 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
>>> Washington, DC 20520
>>>
>>> EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
>>>
>>> Law Enforcement:
>>>
>>> I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for
>>> driving under the
>>> influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine,
>>> and had

my driver's
>>> license suspended for 30 days. My Texasdriving
>>> record has been "lost" and
>>> is not available.
>>>
>>> Military:
>>>
>>> I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
>>> I refused to take a
>>> drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
>>> By joining the Texas
>>> Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty
>>> in Vietnam.
>>>
>>> College:
>>>
>>> I graduated from Yale University with a low C
>>> average. I was a cheerleader.
>>>
>>>
>>> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
>>>
>>> I ran for U.S.

Congress and lost. I began my career
>>> in the oil business in
>>> Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company,
>>> but couldn't find any oil
>>> in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I
>>> sold all my stock. I
>>> bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
>>> sweetheart deal that took land
>>> using taxpayer money. With the help of my father
>>> and our friends in the oil
>>> industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was
>>> elected governor of Texas.
>>>
>>>
>>> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
>>>
>>> - I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and
>>> oil companies, creating more pollution in Houston,TX.
>>>
>>>
>>> - I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to
>>> the tune of billions in
>>> borrowed money.
>>>
>>> - I set the record for the most executions by any
>>> governor in American
>>> history.
>>>
>>> - With the help of my brother, the governor of
>>> Florida, and my father's
>>> appointments to the Supreme Court, I became
>>>

President after losing by over
>>> 500,000 votes.
>>>

>>> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
>>>
>>> - I am the first President in U.S. history to enter
>>> office with a criminal
>>> record.
>>>
>>> - I invaded and occupied two countries at a
>>> continuing cost of over one
>>> billion dollars per week.
>>>
>>> - I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively
>>> bankrupted the U.S.Treasury.
>>>
>>> - I shattered the record for the largest annual
>>> deficit in U.S. history.
>>>
>>> - I set an economic record for most private
>>> bankruptcies filed in any
>>> 12-month period.
>>>
>>> - I set the all-time record for most

foreclosures in
>>> a 12-month period.
>>>
>>> - I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in
>>> the history of the U.S.
>>> stock market. In my first year in office, over 2
>>> million Americans lost
>>> their jobs and that trend continues every month.
>>>
>>> - I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the
>>> richest of any
>>> administration in U.S. history. My "poorest
>>> millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,
>>> has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
>>>
>>> - I set the record for most campaign fund-raising
>>> trips by a U.S. President.
>>>
>>> - I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for
>>>

receiving the most
>>> corporate campaign donations.
>>>
>>> - My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one
>>> of my best friends,
>>> Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate
>>> bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
>>> History, Enron.
>>>
>>> - My political party used Enron private jets and
>>> corporate attorneys to
>>> assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during
>>> my election

decision.
>>>
>>> - I have protected my friends at Enron and
>>> Halliburton against investigation
>>> or prosecution. More time and money was spent
>>> investigating the Monica
>>> Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating
>>> one of the biggest
>>> corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the
>>> biggest energy crisis in
>>> U.S. history and refused to intervene when
>>> corruption involving the oil
>>> industry was revealed.
>>>
>>> - I presided over the highest gasoline prices in
>>> U.S. history.
>>>
>>> - I changed the U.S . policy to allow convicted
>>> criminals to be awarded
>>> government

contracts.
>>>
>>> - I appointed more convicted criminals to
>>> administration than any President
>>> in U.S. history.
>>>
>>> - I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the
>>> largest bureaucracy in
>>> the history of the United States government.
>>>
>>> - I've broken more international treaties than any
>>> President in U.S.
>>> history.
>>>
>>> - I am the first President in U.S. history to have
>>> the United Nations remove
>>> the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
>>>
>>> - I withdrew the U.S.

from the World Court of Law.
>>>
>>> - I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S.
>>> "prisoners of war" detainees
>>> and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva
>>> Convention.
>>>
>>> - I am the first President in history to refuse
>>> United Nations election
>>> inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
>>>
>>> - I set the record for fewest numbers of press
>>> conferences of any

President
>>> since the advent of television.
>>>
>>> - I set the all-time record for most days on
>>> vacation in any one-year
>>> period. After taking off the entire month of
>>> August, I presided over the
>>> worst security failure in U.S. history.
>>>
>>> - I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S.
>>> after the World Trade
>>> Center attacks and less than a year later made the
>>> U.S. the most hated
>>> country in the world, the largest failure of
>>> diplomacy in world history.
>>>
>>> - I have set the all-time record for most people
>>> worldwide to simultaneously
>>> protest me in public venues (15 million people),
>>> shattering the record for
>>> protests against any person in the history

of
>>> mankind.
>>>
>>> - I am the first President in U.S. history to order
>>> an unprovoked,
>>> pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a
>>> sovereign nation. I did
>>> so against the will of the United Nations, the
>>> majority of U.S. citizens,
>>> and the world community.
>>>
>>> - I have cut health care benefits for war veterans
>>> and support a cut in duty
>>> benefits for active duty troops and their families
>>> in wartime.
>>>
>>> - In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our
>>> reasons for attacking
>>> Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British
>>> friends.
>>>
>>> - I am the first President in history to have a
>>> majority of Europeans (71%)
>>> view my presidency as the biggest threat to world
>>> peace and security.
>>>
>>> - I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical
>>> Bunker Buster," a WMD.
>>>
>>> - I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring
>>> Osama Bin Laden to
>>> justice.
>>>
>>>
>>> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>>>
>>> -All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are
>>> now in my father's
>>> library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
>>>
>>> - All records of SEC investigations into my insider
>>> trading and my bankrupt
>>> companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
>>> public view.
>>>
>>> - All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
>>> Vice-President,
>>> attended regarding public energy policy are sealed
>>> in secrecy and
>>> unavailable for public review.
>>>
>>>
>>> Please help this person find a job (preferably

far
>>> away from the United
>>> States).


[edit on 05/16/2008 by CaptGizmo]

The sad thing about this is all of this is true.Makes you wonder what are we really getting in these new candidates running for President now.

lmfao i like that. one question however, i have been all over the united states and am curious, is there any evidence on tx being the most polluted state in the union? i mean, i live here and the air is much easier to breathe than that of other states i have been to.

Actually I have to admit I just looked up the pollution by state and Houston is in fact not the most polluted city.Sorry about that.It turns out that that, that particular info about Houston was created by the Gore campaign during the elections.I apologize to anyone from Texas...no harm meant.

I just edited it so it wont say that now.

[edit on 05/16/2008 by CaptGizmo]

[edit on 05/16/2008 by CaptGizmo]

Hmm, sounds like he could easily be employed in some far off despotic nation ....... nice resume

I wonder what his father thinks of his sons record? Make me proud son!

i hear guiness want to hire him as a full time record breaker
alltho i expect he will end up as chairman of about 17 multi national defense contractors, oil companies, and banks

Thats probably why he is going to dash off to Paraguay before the investigations start when he leaves office.He will be in some deep water I think and many will probably call for charges.