Parenting

Now I know that I am not the perfect parent, and I make a lot of mistakes as one myself, but my number one strategy is to try and remember what it was like for me when I was my kids age and it has really helped me out a lot in many ways.

Now my fiance's best friend has a teenage step-son and I can't stand the way they treat him. It is to the point where I can barely stand being around them. I know it's not my business to say anything and so I keep my mouth shut for the most part but it drives me insane. He is 16 years old and basically is not allowed to do the things a 16 year old normally does. He was not really allowed to go out with friends, he especially can't ride in cars with his friends, he is made to clean the house from top to bottom while the other two boys (ages 9 and 12) don't have to do anything. They scream at him constantly for next to nothing. They started demanding he get a job when he was too young yet to get a job and now that he is old enough, they are on his case about getting a job when there are no jobs in our tiny town and they won't give him a ride to the nearest down or help him get his license so he can drive himself.

They actually just got custody of this boy and got custody away from his real father because of this exact same reason but now they are doing it themselves? I don't get it. So the boy acted out, and snuck out with his friends and was caught shoplifting. This was over a month ago, he has obviously learned his lesson but they are still punishing him for it.

What am I supposed to do? Where is the line between minding my own business and standing up for what is right?

reply to post by snowflake_obsidian


This is a pretty tricky situation. Unless you have proof that the boy is being abused in some way (other than what sounds like mental abuse) I would keep it to myself. I am sure you would not like it if his parents told you what you were doing wrong with your children.

Since the boy is responsible for cleaning his house, maybe you can have him babysit for you. Since there are few jobs where you live, this would give him some responsibility outside of his own house, and a few bucks for pocket money. You didn't mention him watching his own siblings. Does he? Just an idea, anyway. If he works out well, then you could recommend him to other people you know. School will be out soon, and I am sure there have to be parents who would love to have a person his age watch their kids, and clean for them, too!

If it's the best friend of your fiance could they bring it up in
conversation somehow? Or maybe you can bring up a story
or situation that parallels theirs and get your point across that way?

Enthralled, that is another thing that urks me. My fiance's best friend DOES come over to our house all the time and tells us how we should handle our kids.

We have him babysit every once in awhile. This summer I was actually going to see if he wanted to come over during the day and keep an eye on my kids so I can sleep (I work overnights), but other than that, I don't have anything for him, and we are new to this town so I don't know anybody.

He isn't being physically abused, it's all emotional. My fiance talked to his friend about it a little, reminding him that he didn't like the way his stepdad treated him, which was the exact same way. But he doesn't listen, he is quite the know it all.