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Child Custody

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posted on Mar, 30 2008 @ 07:32 AM
Ok here is the story, I apologize in advance if this thread is in the wrong forum , i just dont know where else to post.

Here is the situation. if you have any help/opinions/what have you, please bring it on!

Story goes...
Joined the Air Force (Active Duty) got married had a daughter with my wife, got stationed 1600 miles from home. Marriage had some problems (what marriage doesnt) she accused me several times of crimes I never committed (cheating and related acts). we went home for Christmas to visit our families, her tickets had a different departure dates because I couldnt take that much time off work.
so she uses that as a way to leave me and take my daughter away from me while im stuck 1600 miles away. >>FFW>> its now july and I now file for custody in my home state since im there anyway, I filed for custody first and was on my way to file for divorce because I actually find out from her best friend that she cheated on me with her best friends brother. after I found out she cheated on me, from then on it was over. for me there was no going back. so I filed and I win sole custody (yay) she actually didnt fight because the dude she was with at the time didnt like my daughter. >>FFW>> February hits and finally get divorced, I buy a house, I bring my daughter back to where im stationed and live there happily.

During this entire time of being seperated from the ex-wife... she plays this game of "I want to be with you so bad" to "i dont care anymore" to "you cant do that im still your wife and you should do what I want" to "just forget it its over".... also she has never paid a dime toward my daughter (diapers, wipes, formula, clothes) where I have and I have copies of my check to prove it.

during the time her BF (best friends brother) was at AF basic training, she wanted to be with him. as soon as she realized he was being discharged and going back to being a loser, she wanted me back. (gold digger)
after we got divorced and she finally ran out of places to go she started trying to communcate with me again, via myspace, instant messenger, email, phone (voice and text messages). she would call at 3 in the morning to say "I want to talk to you, I cant sleep" of course that ticked me off because I had to work the next day and there was nothing to talk about. >>FFW>> so now its the following summer (summer 07), I drive back home with my daughter, as agreed to in the custody agreement. im there for about a month, (I also visted back in summer of 06 for about a month, yr 06 I didnt have custody yet) and she only comes to visit/get my daugher once, maybe twice a week. the custody agreement says that she is supposed to have custody while she is in the same state. does she do this? no, she take her out (most times she just visits because she knows my family will take better care of her) the ex has never had my daughter for more than 3 days at a time. she only takes her when its convenient for her. from the time she left me (dec06) to the present day, she does not have a steady job, she does not pay for her daughters well being (me and my parents do) and she really doesnt seem to care about my daughter unless its convenient.
there has been times where she has taken her out just to show her off to her friends and say what a good mom she is. it reallt makes me mad when she does that. oh and ever time she brought her back, she had the same diaper on.... we sent her off with (for example) blues clues diaper on and put Nemo diapers in the bag. and when she came back she had the same diaper on and it was dirty. and the same clothes and they were also always dirty.

ok so ever since my daughter has been living with me, I have paid for everything without child support and without help from anyone. I have a 'private' babysitter so she can get more one on one attention and care.
and since i am active duty AF, I get full medical and dental, and there is many programs for children when they get to be a little older.

the ex decided she is going to join the Army National Guard Reserves.
I happen to have a friends who is in boot camp with her right now and she told me that my ex said that she was going to file for custody sometime after she gets back.

Reserves work on weekend a month and at her paygrade will only make about 100 per paycheck and when she works her two weeks out of the year, she gets half of her base pay. which again isnt much and its only for one month out of the year unless she gets activated and active duty army get deployed like crazy.

so I had a few questions for whoever looks at this thread.

what should I do if she does file?
do you think I can win with or without a lawyer?
who seems to be the better fit parent?

i dont know what else to ask but im sure questions will come up.

Thanks all.

posted on Mar, 30 2008 @ 10:01 AM
Based solely on the information you've given you would appear to be the more fit parent. If she does go and try to get custody I'd get a lawyer. They handle this kind of stuff all the time so they will think of things that you might not. Even if she does file, there was a reason you were given custody to begin with so you will probably win. Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out!

posted on Apr, 19 2008 @ 12:32 AM
I know this thread is kind of old, but I just wanted to reply to it since I'm going through almost the same thing right now, just with the details differing.

We just went to court on the 10th of this month and asked for a continuance because the papers were only served six days before the court date. Well, we had a conference with both of our lawyers and the question came up as to whoever won custody if the other took them back into court at any time to refile for custody if they could win it back. The answer is almost always no. Once the child is settled into a good home the courts dont want to take him/her out of it. Especially if there is no reasoning behind it. If she can prove that you use drugs or drink excessivly or the child is neglected in any way then yes she can possibly regain custody of your daughter...but from what you've said this obviously isnt the case. I'd say I'm almost 100% sure that if you now have sole custody of your child and there is no reason for them to take her away from you...they wont. Courts dont enjoy disrupting a childs home life unless they absolutely need to. She hasnt been much of a mother thus far, why would they expect her to be from here on out?

Hope that helps.

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