how can i stop this...

damn..i've been on a roll posting lately..ne way..

first of all i'm NOT getting on some weak ass feel sorry for me trip...(even though i know some of you will view it that way) i'm merely asking for advice.

it's taken me 20 yrs to realize that i've NEVER done ne thing in my life that was to my benefit.

i need to cut this out. but how?

Well, let's start with what it is you are looking for and go from there.

How about that?

reply to post by ben91069


peace of mind.

Don't feel too bad. You aren't alone in the feeling that you have wasted a lot of time. In fact, I too have just noticed that I pretty much have not done anything useful in life.

But I am at peace, because I don't have anything that makes my conscious guilty. That just comes with experience.

First off, i'd like to say that most of us are looking for peace of mind, if we haven't found it already.

It's not really my place to tell you where to go, or what to do, but to say do whatever you feel is right, I can say.
I'm not really sure getting a college degree, and putting it to use really gives you peace of mind, but that's what people try to persuade "me" to do. Though, I doubt that will give me peave of mind, it will atleast keep me from moving backward in life. I've seen some f***ed up things happen in my life, and also have been to my lowest, as far as I can comprehend. I know it's hard to find whatever you seek, but seeking is all you can do I guess.

Goodluck with whatever you find, and I hope it does give you peace of mind.

-Mad

Originally posted by LordInfamous
reply to post by ben91069

 

peace of mind.

Peace of mind...that is quite a broad answer. Maybe you should start thinking about what will give you peace of mind.

Dude you need to get outta dodge.

Get a bit of cash and go walkabout... You know you can talk the talk, but can you... you get the idea.

Monkey

What works for me is to find something that I'd like to do, but that's not easy.

In fact I find the thing that's the hardest and devote everything I have to accomplishing that. Most of the time it's in the arena of physical things, though I did teach myself programming.

Until a few years ago I had never done any downhill skiing. So I took a lesson and just went for it. Turned out that I was a natural (as far as an amateur). In one season of skiing I was already doing the black diamond slopes and in five seasons I never fell once, though my style has been to go all out, weight over the tips of the skis. You get incredible control.

Same thing for getting back on my bicycle. After being off it for 20 years, it was quite difficult, but I kept at it and made pretty good progress.

The cool thing about physical stuff is that it comes with a natural high. Running or jogging is great for turning off the internal dialog.

Anyway, HTH.


[edit on 30-3-2008 by Badge01]

Originally posted by snowflake_obsidian

Originally posted by LordInfamous
reply to post by ben91069

 

peace of mind.

Peace of mind...that is quite a broad answer. Maybe you should start thinking about what will give you peace of mind.

well i mean, i really like to deal with lil kids. i've considered being a mentor before but iono....

*shrugs* i just really need to get the outta my town and learn how to control my temper.

i lost my job the day before yesterday because i saw this one guy who's friend (which is my mortal enemy and will be for the rest of my life) and him jumped me last year on the 4th of july. i told the guy don't ever let me see you out. it pissed him off and we got into a verbal altercation until a higher up broke it up. i'm glad he did cause i was seriously about to run in his eye with one of the boxcutters. which would have gotten me attempted murder but i mean i wouldn't have gave damn. also, i found out that him and his friend hang out and this lil bar i know of. it just so happens that the owners son is my friend and me being who i am you already know imma go down there and ask him what particular days they show up. when he tells me that will be the very day i'll be waiting in the parking lot to have some fun. via a fist fight or ANY other way i have to get my point across.

it's like that. i can't get rid of that way of thinking for nothing (and when you think like that ur mind ain't ever at ease)..esp when it comes to situations like that. even when there's a risk of catching charges (which there will be cause of the way i'll more than likely have to handle it)

i mean..my clique is no more. one guy went off to school, one guy is blindly in love (as well as codependent) with his g/f, one guy moved outta state, one guy moved outta town, one guy is in the pen for 10 yrs and one of the broads is pregnant. everybodies separated and i don't like it worth a damn.

iono..i'm confused and lacking direction.

[edit on 30-3-2008 by LordInfamous]

Maybe your first step should be to try and not hold people as mortal enemies. I mean, there are people that I don't like and there are I would say two people I wouldn't mind beating the you know what out of, but I know that's not a good idea.

So, just don't associate with those people and if you see them on the street, don't pay them no mind man. They are not worth it!