cold calling, customer service calls, and other call centre crap

does anyone else have a way of dealing with these types of phone calls?

either your calling a company and being jacked around, or getting foreign call centres call and you get sick of taking their crap?

what are some of the funny, irate or other methods you have dealt with them?

i have a mate and when someone calls trying to sell him something he tries to turn it around and into a business deal for them, under his own terms. he gets enjoyment from jerking their chain for 15 minutes till they catch on.

one of our utility companies gave us an estimated meter reading. my wife demanded they come and actually read the meter since we've never had an estimated acc. in the many years we've been here.

a few wk later they send another bill. again, estimated but this time with a $24 "meter reading" fee.
wifey rang and told them she wont accept the bill OR their fee.

"well as courtesy, we will waive the fee. but just letting you know we will charge blah blah blah"

the wife replied "well im just letting you know, we wont accept estimated readings because there is no excuse for not reading our meter which is in very easy access next to the front door and i wont accept your fee either or we will go to the ombudsman AND change our provider"

aah, it made me chuckle. the wife not only giving them a piece of her mind but also putting HER conditions down, just like they try to do with their stupid meter reading fee.

so have you got any interesting experiences or ways to deal with them?


[edit on 11/1/08 by Obliv_au]

When I get solicitation calls...

If it is from a woman I always ask if she is wearing any panties.

If it is from a man, I always ask if it would be alright if I can get back to him at his home number as I'm right in the middle of setting my hair on fire.

or scream at them "how did you get my number? I'm on a do not call list!!"

We really need to go easy on phone solicitors as many times they are physically impaired and phone work is about all they can do.

First "real" job was in a call center, doing surveys, outbound, in French. Fun.

I will say however that there were some very intriguing responses to our calls, and it actually made my day when someone told me to fornicate myself, or came up with some stupid story or excuse. And the French are funny when they're angry.

I will never do that job again.

Man I usually listen to the entire schpeel and let them think that I am interested and after they think they hooked one and have read all the scripts they have I tell them "No im sorry im just not interested" and hang up.

Thats quality EVIL my friends.

the other one is I actually try and trade for whatever they are selling for some piece of garbage I got around my house.

"Ill trade you this broken x box for what your selling"

The barter system doesn't work but it's fun if you use something a little grosser like a dead squirrel or something to that effect. Really sell it too, make them want to buy it.

LOL
well I do not get calls like that anymore for 2 reasons.

1) I'm on the national do not call list

2) I have AT&T's Privacy Director service on my phone
which keeps me from getting calls from anyone who don't
have a verified call-back number & name associated with
the number. It's only $4.95 a month for that service and worth
it's weight in gold since most call centers show up on your
caller ID as "unknown" or "out of Area" etc....
If I do get a call from an un-verified number then the Privacy Director
intercepts the call for me and asks them to leave their name and number
and gives me a ring and ask's me if I want to accept the call.
I have the choice to answer it or not based on the info they leave
and it's in real time while they hang on the phone. To this date, not one
telemarketer has left their name and number with the service.

But before all the nice things we have to protect us from the phone
apes, I remember when I use to get calls all the time from them.

But I think a great prank to play on them would be to have a porno
movie in your VCR and ready to play at the push of a button and when
they start their speal, then just hit play on the VCR and turn the volume
up real loud. And all the screams and moans and groans start to set
the setting under which they THINK is happening. Then you say to them
in a heavy breathing voice, "I can't talk right now I'm busy".
I don't think they could stop from laughing OR hang up quick enough.

LMAO

LOL, now that would be something worth trying.
make it sound like your in the middle of an orgy

Originally posted by SimonSays

But I think a great prank to play on them would be to have a porno
movie in your VCR and ready to play at the push of a button and when
they start their speal, then just hit play on the VCR and turn the volume
up real loud. And all the screams and moans and groans start to set
the setting under which they THINK is happening. Then you say to them
in a heavy breathing voice, "I can't talk right now I'm busy".
I don't think they could stop from laughing OR hang up quick enough.

LMAO

I'm bumping this up, just wanted to offer this up also -
The Porn bit is excellent, a horror movie on a good murder scene would be hilarious too.


I did call center work for years with one stipulation - I NEVER did cold calling or outbound work. I don't want to be that person calling people unwarranted. It annoys the heck out of me and I wouldn't want to do that to anyone else.

As an inbound point of contact I was wonderful though People were always calling and asking for me specifically because I'd speak the truth about the company and helped a lot of people. So much for monitoring calls ha! lol

I would use a 'Caller-ID' service and/or let my answering machine pick up the calls. Simply not answering the phone is better. Tom Mabe, for example, is a hoot and one could learn from his trade of pulling off pranks.

what about those annoying computer generated calls. I pay for my minutes to get some computer calling me four times a week to let me know the warranty on my noexistant new vechicle is about to expire.

computer

Originally posted by whaaa
When I get solicitation calls...

If it is from a woman I always ask if she is wearing any panties.

If it is from a man, I always ask if it would be alright if I can get back to him at his home number as I'm right in the middle of setting my hair on fire.

or scream at them "how did you get my number? I'm on a do not call list!!"

We really need to go easy on phone solicitors as many times they are physically impaired and phone work is about all they can do.

I worked at a call center when I was younger hawking 90 day no cost review periods of accidental death and dismemberment insurance.What was funny was that half of the "salespeople" were prison work release inmates (myself not included, thank you very much).I did really well for myself, but I was younger and in a barhopping phase, so I didn't end up with much to show for it,except some wild times and crazy memories. By the way if you want to get laid telemarketing girls are the way to go.It was more like meatmarketing.