My Favorite Secret Society

The Ancient and Honourable Society of Stonecutters, as featured in the Simpsons episode "Homer The Great", has to win the prize.

The initiation ceremony consists of the following ordeals:

1. Leap of Faith
2. Crossing the Desert
3. The Unblinking Eye
4. The Wreck of Hesperus
5. The Paddling of the Swollen Ass with Paddles.

The candidate is then required to take a vow of secrecy, ending with this penalty: “... and by the Sacred Parchment, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, may my stomach become bloated and my head be plucked of all but three hairs.”

After this, Number One (the chief officer of the Society) then states to the new members: “You have joined the sacred order of the Stonecutters, who, since ancient times, have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let’s all get drunk and play ping-pong.”

The Stonecutters dinner song is as follows:

“Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!”

The members of Stonecutters World Council are George H.W. Bush, Orville Redenbacher, Jack Nicholson, and Mr. T.

When Homer is eventually recognized as The Chosen One and becomes Number One, everyone disagrees with his policies and resigns. They instead form the Ancient Mystical Order of No-Homers, leaving the Stonecutters, unfortunately, to go extinct.

Or did they?






[edit on 17-10-2007 by Masonic Light]

reply to post by Masonic Light


We are hiding in plain sight !!!!!

Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa = Evi,maniacal laugh

Only the lower level Stonecutter think they were disolved...those 92464th degree Stonecutters are the only ones who know what really went on...the rest were ignorant pawns.

Originally posted by RWPBR
Only the lower level Stonecutter think they were disolved...those 92464th degree Stonecutters are the only ones who know what really went on...the rest were ignorant pawns.

Hold thy insolent tongue, lest the low level pawns and profanes be made aware of our reptilian ways

ooops...did I say pawns...I meant prawns...yeah those big shrimp like things...prawns....

Originally posted by RWPBR
ooops...did I say pawns...I meant prawns...yeah those big shrimp like things...prawns....

Yeah, they taste great sauteed in baby's blood and goats milk.
We usually serve them at our annual 950th degree installation,sex magick,Baphomet,mind control, bohemian past UFO/Illuminatti past masters night

Originally posted by PrinceHall06

Originally posted by RWPBR
ooops...did I say pawns...I meant prawns...yeah those big shrimp like things...prawns....

Yeah, they taste great sauteed in baby's blood and goats milk.
We usually serve them at our annual 950th degree installation,sex magick,Baphomet,mind control, bohemian past UFO/Illuminatti past masters night

Yeah I already made my reservations at the secret moonbase Hilton for this years extravaganza.

AT this month's stated meeting,they showed us how to shapeshift into Reptilians.

I love shapeshifting...chicks did shapeshifters....especially the reptilian tongue...wink wink say no more.

Photography?Candid photos?Nudge,Nudge,wink,wink say no more.

Reptilian girls are awesome, but those scales tear me up too much.

And Grey girls,well lets not go there, who needs nagged telepathically.

I have a vid of them singing the song on my myspace page.
www.myspace.com/zsasz138

Not only was Grandpa a Stonecutter, he was a Mason and president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance (for some reason).




ps. since I just gave you all my myspace address, feel free to stop in and toss me a friend invite.

Originally posted by wu kung
I have a vid of them singing the song on my myspace page.
www.myspace.com/zsasz138

Not only was Grandpa a Stonecutter, he was a Mason and president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance (for some reason).

ps. since I just gave you all my myspace address, feel free to stop in and toss me a friend invite.

Your site makes me sad Some of your video links dont work and I really wanted to see what I was in for joining the Stoencutters...ah I mean what stone cutters theres no stone cutters!

MasonicLight

longtime reader reader of the dforum and lurker. Never id register until today

I admire your posts. I dont know the rules of this forum but is there anyway to contact you directly with some questions?

I too am from the Carolinas and was interested in the B.O.T.A and how to gain membership in the order.

reply to post by romanowski


Go to the bottom of this post box, and click on the tab that says "Send U2U". A window will then open so you can send me a private message.

Thanks!