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the poem of honorable mention

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posted on Sep, 21 2007 @ 05:41 PM
Because I broke yours
when I fell apart
I rip out mine own
and give you my heart

Keep it with you always
no matter what I do
cause I always in someway
want to be with you

It all coincides
with the rest of my life
hopefully I' ll carry you
no matter what the strife

As quoted by Sanctus Real
” I love you, I love you
nothing else will do”

Look deep into my eyes,
Hold tight to my heart

the first eight lines got me honorable mention in the recent poem contest...
does the rest live up to the same?

posted on Sep, 25 2007 @ 06:54 PM
Very well done. I like how you used 'mine own', gives it a bit of archaic flavor. I also enjoyed the lines "cause I always in someway want to be with you", it has a good cadence to it when read aloud. Bravo!

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