I'm at rock bottom. I can't take it anymore...

Pretty much, I'm in a point of my life where it can get no worse. I've lost everything I had and more. I hope this is over soon.

PLEASE READ. :]

Rock Bottom

She is timid, sad and scared,
In these misfortunes, she is ensnared,
One, two blows in quick succession,
She digs her grave that is depression,
Her eyes are empty, cold like steel,
These eyes, they cry but don't reveal,
The weakness that is her incarnation,
Ruptures in her heart, mind aberration,
A shield of armour, of cold-eyed glares,
Of poisonous words, of dramatic affairs,
Yet behind this facade is so fragile a girl,
So tightly protected, to never unfurl,
Self-inflicted judgement upon every her move,
Trick stepping stones that must approve,
Lest she fall through to the deep,
Empty blackness in which they sleep,
Concrete sealed her buffeted soul,
Until the melancholy swallowed her whole,
Beautiful folded butterfly wings,
From which she hid from Hell's fiery rings,
From which she hid from all her peers,
From which she hid all of her tears,
From which she hides inside and from,
The darkness to which she would succumb,
Her head is bowed tears falling fast,
Rejection, struggles, all is not past,
She heaves and yells in uncontrollable fear,
She cries and she wishes but salvation is not near,
Move on, she says in her seclusion,
It will be okay, it is just an illusion,
Like looking at her own attack,
Through a blanket that showed but only black,
My heart is only in disrepair,
When will I wake from this nightmare?
When will the wings decide to unfold?
When can I look at the world so bold?
When will the wings allow me exemption?
When will the world accept my redemption?
When will it be over if it will at all?
When will I be so deep there is no more to fall?

I'm going to snap if someone says anything related to "emo" about my poem. So just don't do it. Thank you.

Edit//
BBCode is screwy D:

[edit on 19-9-2007 by Paresthesia]

Trust me...I won't say anything EMO. But I will ask if you are OK..and if there is anything I can do.Your poem is both direct and vague at the same time.I feel your pain...went through that a week ago...but not sure if you are speaking of love or life in general or both.
I will say...you are gifted with words...it is just sad that sometimes it is the worst times in our life when we show that.

Originally posted by Paresthesia
Pretty much, I'm in a point of my life where it can get no worse.

Life can get much worse because life is like that.

Move on, she says in her seclusion,

Yes keep going, even if it is just you standing at the bottom of the pit and looking up at the top of it. It is a start. When your down there, think about what you want and resume the climb when you are ready. This pit is a great place to be. Everyone falls into the pit at some time during their life. If you look around in the dark you will see quite a few other people in there with you. When you do resume the climb and get out of the pit, you will be richer for the experience, wiser.

Embrace this time and be thankful for all that life throws your way...every single thing. All the crap, all the yucky stuff. You can't have the good without the bad. Life doesn't discriminate. It is your life so love it for what it is, not what you want it to be and move through it.

Awww. Thank you guys so much. Seriously. Those two posts have helped me more than all of my friends combined. I love you ATS'ers.

Things are a lot better now, if you're wondering. I've sorted out all my problems.

Thank youuu.

I'm glad to hear..that you feel better now....If you ever need to chat..just a u2u away OK?
And I agree..no truer friends can be found than those here....

reply to post by Paresthesia


Wow, you are really talented. Glad you're feeling better.

[edit on 23-9-2007 by thehumbleone]

I'm glad you're feelin' better 'cause I've been goin' through that on a monthly basis, I feel lonely at times ,even when I'm even around others, I've got too much problems that I can't even express it to anyone else. I do write poems to take it out of me but it just doesn't work as good as drawin'. My art is my life, if I were to lose my hands in some freak accident I'd end my life. I wish for everything to go great with you and that ya have a great day , see ya later chica .

[edit on 23-9-2007 by steve-o]

Paresthesia

Sorry I'm late getting here. I did read your poem and was feeling guilty that I couldn't do anything to help you. I'm so glad your feeling better now. Please, Promise never to make a Permanent solution to a Temporary problem. Because that's all it is.... a Temporary problem. Believe me I know. I lost a loved one in 1999 who decided to end it all. The pain from that momentary impluse (of the individual) has changed my life forever. The ones left behind are the ones who suffer the most. Talk to someone.... even if it's just here on the ATS. Sure glad your feeling better.

Okay. I'm back to square one.
New problems have risen and my barely healed wounds have been ripped open with a vengeance. Just thought I'd update you guys on how I'm feeling. Last night, I had a fit of tears. I haven't cried so impulsively and so hard in months. I wrote something else last night. It's more of a journal entry than poetry or prose, but I sort of like it, I guess...

People tell me things will be better in the morning. I suppose it is a true statement; I am numb in the morning, numb from all the pain and crying, numb from the world. I wake before the sun when the air is as still as stone. Oh the irony of waking to a deadened sensation and realising that my dream world is not reality. I toss myself from bed and emerse myself in the silence of the morning, a silence of only a couple minutes, a sense of peace and serenity that lasts but a moment. I'll redeem myself today. Things will better, I tell myself.
Though I have lost trust, though I've lost faith in those whom I held close to my heart, I have not lost trust in what I see every morning. As I walk on the pavement, in the humid darkness, I look up into the sky which shows every color of the rainbow in muted, relaxed shades. I look upwards, forwards in the same direction every morning, like admiring a painting in an exhibit because it never changes; it never ceases to amaze. Amidst the cloudless sky of morning, there shines one star. A bright star I see for only minutes every day, says nothing to me and yet brings me so much joy.
The morning air is heavy on me, like I'm captive, under a blanket of temporary security that fades once that star is out of sight, but I feel so free when I look up. Unlike the fickle world, this star greets me every morning and twinkles as if laughing. That will never change. I will burn out before it does, and I am thankful for that. This star is more faithful than I. I always make a wish, wishes that are not always returned, but I have faith in this one star. I have faith that at least it will come back tomorrow morning and laugh with me when no one else will.

reply to post by Paresthesia

Aw Hun, you write beautifully...I just wish it were happier thoughts.You do have friends here if we can help you in any way OK?
Just a u2u away...AD

reply to post by Paresthesia

Just remember that the only thing that remains the same is change.

No matter how bad your current situation is there are always ways to make things better in a positive and productive manner.
What has hurt you now may be with you in memory most of your life, but it will be just a memory, not an actual event. Use it as a learning experience to not make the same mistake as others. You have an entire world to explore and experience. Take control of your one private world and be the person you dream of being.
I'm only here to support you and your thoughts. You have such a wonderful gift for writting.

U2U me if you have more you need to share.

Your friend,
Sanity Lost

Life can suck the big one!!

You're far too young to let it all get to you. Not that that statement has any help in it at all! I hated school, my teenage years were for the most part horrid! I was a monkey shaped peg in a human shaped hole type of world. Live your own life, set your own goals, have your own dreams.

There are plenty of experienced, intelligetent peeps on here to help you with pretty much anything. As a teenager I was always crap at asking for help, don't be like that, er you're not... That's a good thing!!

MonKey



[edit on 26/9/07 by ChiKeyMonKey]

Originally posted by Paresthesia

Self-inflicted judgement upon every her move,

OOOoooohhh

Kudos ~ i've yet to spill to strangers - get on girl