posted on Sep, 17 2007 @ 06:33 PM
A Moment of Clarity
I had a moment of clarity yesterday while at the funeral of a friend. Maybe people have these moments all the time, ive only ever had a few. This
moment was a clear and precise truth, revealed to me as time seemed to stop for the briefest second.
My friend was about the same age as myself, she was also the mother of two beautiful children aged eleven and nine. As i sat in the chapel and watched
her two children standing beside her coffin and lighting four candles, one at each corner, i was struck by a thought.
"Life is chaotic, life is a lottery. The grand plan seems to me to be no plan at all."
I was heartbroken at this moment, as i'm sure every other person at the service was. If it wasn't for the fact that i have children of my own to
care for i would have gladly taken the place of my friend so that she could once again be with her children, the completely open and honest look of
grief on their faces tore at my heart.
My friend was a beautiful person, she hardly drank, never smoked, she played sport and was a healthy energetic person. She cared for everyone she met,
sometimes to her own detriment. Yet for the past two years she has suffered miserably at the hands of a debilitating disease. Her friends, her family
and her children have lived with her through this torment. Never once in all that time did she complain out loud to any of us, only the past two weeks
of her life when asked, "how are you going", would she simply say, "It's not fair".
And you know what, she was right.
Your probably thinking, well its nothing new, your not telling me something i didnt already know, millions of people deal with this pain every day.
And your right too.
I'm in my forty's, this isnt the first funeral ive been too and sadly it probably wont be the last.
But it was the first time that, for me, it seemed as though my mind was totally clear and a truth was revealed. It may not be your truth, it may not
even be a truth that you wish to see.
It was my moment of clarity, and it was my truth, i dont wish to preach to anyone, so take this as you wish, but it felt to me then, as it does now,
that it was something that i needed to say, not only to my friends and family in the real world but also to my friends (and foes) here on ATS.
Touch someone you love, greet a complete stranger with a smile, stop and watch a breeze rustle through the leaves of a tree, chase a dream that
you've put off for years.
Your time is now, it is not measured by seconds or minutes or hours or days, it is measured by your experience of life, by the lives you touch, by
the fragrance of dew on the grass and the play of sunlight as it's refracted into your eye's.
I'm sorry if this message seems convoluted but it was difficult to put into words, what i saw in my minds eye cannot be easily interpreted into
words, let me leave it at this.
I sincerely hope that for all my friends both here and in real life, and for complete strangers that may read these words, that you find something in
my words that resonates for you. I wish for all of you a sunny spring day, a friendly greeting from a stranger, an unexpected gift and that days when
you need to say goodbye to dear friends are few and far between.
Much love, mojo.