RELIGION: Finally Exposed! HILARIOUS, and TRUE!

This is a very true analogy and interpretation of religion, that even the most religious people would agree with. Think about this carefully as you read it, and try to understand what they mean by different actions, events, and people. VERY fun to read, really interesting, and teaches you a lot too. This has been passed around the internet for a while, so I thought I'd put it here.
---------------------------------------------

Recently a parody of door-to-door evangelizing was sent around the Internet. It was so exceedingly irreverent that it probably was too shocking for many people to understand how truly enlightening it was. For those who may not have seen it, I am going to include it here because it makes very important points that need to be emphasized.

John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His as?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the sh*t out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shakedown?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropists. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever he wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss his ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the sh*t out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the sh*t of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

From the desk of Karl


1) Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2) Use alcohol in moderation.
3) Kick the sh*t out of people who aren't like you.
4) Eat right.
5) Hank dictated this list Himself.
6) The moon is made of green cheese.
7) Everything Hank says is right.
8) Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9) Don't use alcohol.
10) Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11) Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the sh*t out of you.


Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the sh*t out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 5 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary: She blushes.
John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary: She looks positively stricken.
John He's shouting.) "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time." (Mary faints.)
John: (He catches Mary.) "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the sh*t out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless, cut-wienered kraut-eater." With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

Did you get it? Did you REALLY get it? And did you see how accurately it portrays the whole religious mindset? Most important, did you notice how "good rules" can be posited for the express purpose of establishing Faith in rules that are not only lies, but are actually detrimental to growth and development? And did you notice how cleverly this little skit actually captured the dynamic of the "true believer?"

More than that, the totally illogical and nonsensical dynamic of "believe this" or you will be damned, punished or otherwise "left out" of some exclusive club is the essence of STS stalking wherein confusion and cross-purpose prevents a clear perception on the part of the Stalkees.
------------------------------------------------------
Now, READ IT AGAIN! This time, get the parts you missed the first time, or couldn't understand. See it now?
Source: www.cassiopaea.org


[Edited on 20-1-2004 by lilblam]

[Edited on 20-1-2004 by lilblam]

I assume everyone understands this perfectly, yes?

Hehehehehehe...

Ah man I simply loved it. If I could applaud you for this post I would. Now let's hope some people will see the true meaning of this hilarious text. Even maybe question their own beliefs after reading it...maybe...

This have to be one of the greatest analogy I ever read.

But before people get all offended, I think this doesn't apply to ALL religions, but more particularly to most mainstream organised religions. I know you (lilblam) probably disagree with me on this, but that's just my opinion.

I do agree with you, it is the mainstream religions. For example Buddhism has no separate entity called God, and has no salvation and no Hell etc... so not ALL religions fall into this.

Religion is a problem like poisoned food is a problem,

it can kill you but not all food is poisoned. Furthermore, you need food to live.

Always remember that religion is not the enemy but the people that would corrupt it is, lest you lose your faith and lose sight of your soul and your true existance.

Some people can live a perfectly happy life with out any need of some sort of "religion". Only religious people think it is necessary to existence. Therefore, I think THENEO's analogy doesn't make sense for everybody, but mostly to religious people, and particularly the kind that would never give up their faith.

Lilblam, I'm glad you agree with me on this. At first sight (well...from the previous posts of yours) I thought you were some kind of extreme Atheist. (I mean REALLY extreme)

[Edited on 20-1-2004 by m0rbid]

liblam, I know you do not beleive in religion in any form and see it as mass hysteria at its best and I respect your views but I see the total flip side. This is a very cute little article up here but totally different than Religion (Christianity atleast). Let me explain my point.

The first concern in the story above is that Hank dictated his story to karl relating directly to the argument that the Bible is a book written by men with the implicit assumption that this automatically removes truth from it. There is no doubt that the Bible was physically written by human hands. God did not lower it down from the sky all bound together for us.

However, this does not force us to conclude that the Bible is not true, or that it is not from God. We need to look at the evidence at hand. Is there any evidence to suggestb that the Bible is in any way supernatural in origin? I think that there is. We could do 100 issues on the subject, but one thing leaps out here. It is the remarkable unity of the Bible. It was written over a period of about 1600 years (Moses wrote Genesis through Deuteronomy around 1450BC and John wrote Revelation in 90AD). It contains 66 books, written by 40 different authors.

Despite the fact that 40 people wrote it over a vast amount of time, it all tells the same story. Try putting ANY 40 people today in the same room and ask them each to write a book about the nature of God, the afterlife, and religious truth and I guarantee they would not agree. Yet, these 40 people, over 1500 years, tell ONE story about ONE God. The only explanation that my mind can accept is that there was ONE author behind the 40, inspiring them to write what they did. At this point some will say, �but what about the contradictions in the Bible?� The best response to that question is, �Which contradictions are you referring to?� That question will usually be met with silence.

The story then raises the issue of Hank's invisibility and his silence in modern times. On the subject of God�s invisibility, we must remember that matter does not create itself. Since we see a physical world made of matter, we know that the creator of that matter cannot and must not be matter Himself. He must be beyond matter, beyond time, and beyond space, for He created all these things. God is invisible because He has no body. If He did, He would be a creature, not the creator. As far as His silence in modern times, that is simply not true. In fact, God speaks directly to human hearts today far more than He did in Bible times, for prior to Christ, believers did not have the Holy Spirit living in their hearts. The Holy Spirit was reserved for a select few prophets and kings, and God would speak to them and they would speak to the people. That is not so today. If a person puts their faith and trust in God through Jesus Christ they are able to talk personally and daily with God through prayer. We can speak directly to God, and He speaks (usually in our hearts rather than in our ears) to us.

Would you like to hear the voice of God in your heart? If so then you need to do four things. 1. You need to accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior. 2. You need to ask God to speak to you. 3. You need to take time to be quite and listen to Him. 4. You need to be willing to obey Him. Even if you are a skeptic it would be great for you to pray a prayer like, �God, if you are there, I�d really like to know. If you want to have a relationship with me, please show me how.�

If God really isn�t there then you haven�t lost anything, and if He is then perhaps you might find eternal life.

OMG! Someone is trying to "convert" Lilblam! Hehehehe
(just kidding)

I don't think you need to question this brilliant text, you either got to refuse it or accept it. If you refuse it, well it means you're better continuing to believe in what you believe. They already got you.


Funny...yesterday I had a weird dream...and at some point, my washing-machine exploded with ketchup and mustard.

Now let's celebrate the holy "No hot-dog buns" day.

Originally posted by m0rbid
Some people can live a perfectly happy life with out any need of some sort of "religion". Only religious people think it is necessary to existence. Therefore, I think THENEO's analogy doesn't make sense for everybody, but mostly to religious people, and particularly the kind that would never give up their faith.

Lilblam, I'm glad you agree with me on this. At first sight (well...from the previous posts of yours) I thought you were some kind of extreme Atheist. (I mean REALLY extreme)

ROFL! "Extreme atheist" that just sounds funny lol. I'm an atheistic fanatic! I'm an atheistic extremist, and I get NO virgins after I die! Not a single one!

It's not that I'm an "extreme atheist", as I know humans have a soul. I know that everything that exists is consciousness, and physicality is an illusion. But I do not DIVINATE or attribute divine properties to anything, nor do I worship anything, as there's no need. Anything/anyone that demands your worship does NOT have your best interests at heart. It's a fact! If I told you to worship me because I love you, would you do that? If I told you I'll send you to hell for eternity cuz you didn't worship me so you "chose" to go there yourself, would that make sense to you? I doubt it. So why would GOD be able to force so many into submission?

It's just a funny notion to me.

God

(The lights fade in to about 1/3 power and we see the end of a bed with two bare feet sticking out of the end. There is quiet snoring. Suddenly there is a clap of thunder and the lights zip up to the highest level possible, hopefully lighting over the bed)

Voice: (Very loud and bellowing over a loudspeaker) ROGER! WAKE UP! It�s 10:30. This is God! (Pause. There is no action from the bed) ATTENTION! (Roger�s bed starts to shake. God is impatient) ARISE!!!

Roger: (Startled, he jumps from his bed. He is wearing pajamas) What? What? (He covers his eyes. It is too bright) What the hell!? Who turned on the spotlight!?!?

God: It�s no spotlight Roger. It�s me; God. The Supreme Being; the Lord; Him with a capital �H�.

Roger: Come on... you�re not God.

God: (A clap of thunder) Believe me Roger, I�m it.

Roger: Oh no you�re not. You can�t fool me. I�ve seen God before. He�s more that just a pile of light. There�s no way you�re God.

God: Listen Roger. You haven�t seen God. You�ve seen movies. That�s the main reason I�m here now. I want to prove God isn�t like that. I�m God. Not George Burns!

Roger: I don�t understand. Couldn�t you come down here and discuss this like two human beings over lunch?

God: No!!! That�s precisely my point. God doesn�t discuss things over lunch. What does it take to get to get through to you. I am the creator of the universe. A true religious figurehead, not just the guy next door. I�ve been commercialized against my will. My image of thousands of years... shot to hell!

Roger: Hey! Watch your language.

God: Why? HELL! HELL! HELL! What are you going to do about it. No sit down and listen to me.

Roger: (sits on the edge of the bed, still covering his eyes) OKAY! OKAY! Don�t lose your head.

God: I have no head!!! I�m God!

Roger: Yeah Yeah, right. I know.. Let�s hear your story.

God: And don�t patronize me!

Roger: I�m sorry. Go on.

God: Good. I want you to stop my reputation as a commoner. People these days refer to me much to casually. I�m no longer the ultimate being; the creator. People regard me as some sort of cartoon character. I certainly don�t need that. I command respect. I want things to be like they were; when people went to church every Sunday to pray to me. Now, the only time my name comes up is in swear words.

Roger: Or when they sneeze.

God: What?

Roger: You know; Gesundheit.

God: What does that have to do with me?

Roger: It�s �GOD BLESS YOU� in German.

God: Oh yeah. Right. Anyway, you get my point. I want you to change all that.

Roger: But- (Clap of thunder)

God: Worried about your job? Aren�t you forgetting something? I�m God. (Money starts to float down from the ceiling around Roger�s bed)

Roger: No, I�m not worried about money... it�s just that-

God: (Thunder. God is upset) What�s this?!?! I just gave you $100,000 dollars tax free and I don�t even get a thank you? God doesn�t give money away everyday you know!!

Roger: Sorry. I really appreciate everything you�re doing for me, but I still have one problem with this. You see, I don�t really believe in God. At least not you�re type.

God: I�m confused. I�m floating here; just a mass of light, talking to you. How can you say you don�t believe in me. You�re not sleeping you know?

Roger: Well, it�s hard to explain. I never really argued that there wasn�t a God. I just didn�t take a stand. I�m not religious at all. If there is a God, fine. If not, that�s fine too.

God: Okay. But you can�t very well deny that I exist now can you?

Roger: All I�m trying to say is that I�m not the right candidate.

God: So what am I supposed to do? Get a priest? You think I haven�t tried that. It doesn�t work. It�s their job to tell people they speak to God. Nobody takes extra notice when one of them claims that God actually spoke back.

Roger: And what makes you think they would notice me?

God: You�re perfect. You said yourself you never denied the possibility, but you�re not religious. They�d listen to you. Show them the faded carpet. Prove that God exists and he�s not some old HAS BEEN. I�m very much a STILL IS. Tell them I�m the real GOD, just like the book. Nothing has changed. Tell everybody to worship me again. They�ll believe you. You�re a nobody.

Roger: Gee, thanks.

God: I�m sorry. I didn�t mean that exactly, but it�s true. They will notice you. It�ll hit the papers.

Roger: No God. You�re wrong. Face it. You�re ruined. If I tell a reporter I met God in my bedroom and he was just a mass of light that destroyed my carpet, he won�t publish that. He�ll politely ask to borrow my phone and call the funny farm.

God: So tell them you don�t own a phone.

Roger: You don�t understand. The messenger concept has been done. You need something original. How about a miracle?

God: AHH! I knew you were going to say that. That�s your solution to everything. Let me tell you something Roger; nobody pays me to be God you know. My budget was shot to hell creating mountains. I don�t have the money to produce elaborate miracles. Anything I could whip up, could be re-produced in Hollywood for half the price, and they�d probably do it better, with top name stars.

Roger: You�re putting me on. You just paid me $100,000. What was that, your rainy month fund?

God: That was a fluke. I happened to be out hovering around one evening when I caught St. Peter taking a bribe from a sinner. No Roger, I�m afraid the miracle idea is out. It�s got to be the messenger. You�re it my friend.

Roger: And if I refuse?

God: Then you�ll wake up tomorrow as a dwarfed elm tree.

Roger: What if I leave town?

God: Don�t make me laugh.

Roger: Oh yea, you�re God. Okay, I�ll do it, but only on one condition.

God: What is it you want?

Roger: Can we discuss the plan over lunch, my eyes can�t take much more of this light?

God: Well...

Roger: My treat.

God: Can I have anything I want?

Roger: ANYTHING!

(Instantly on the word anything, the lights fade right down to normal room light. There is a puff of smoke and in walks an old man with glasses. The two walk off together talking quietly to each other about the arrangements as the lights fade right out to black)

(BLACKOUT)

NOTE: Over 20 years after this script was written, a friendly web visitor notified me that "Gesundheit" in fact means "Health", not "God Bless you" as I had originally believed. This tragically changes that whole portion of the sketch. How weird. How sad.


SOURCE: frogstar.com...

Originally posted by BlackJackal
liblam, I know you do not beleive in religion in any form and see it as mass hysteria at its best and I respect your views but I see the total flip side. This is a very cute little article up here but totally different than Religion (Christianity atleast). Let me explain my point.

The first concern in the story above is that Hank dictated his story to karl relating directly to the argument that the Bible is a book written by men with the implicit assumption that this automatically removes truth from it. There is no doubt that the Bible was physically written by human hands. God did not lower it down from the sky all bound together for us.

However, this does not force us to conclude that the Bible is not true, or that it is not from God. We need to look at the evidence at hand. Is there any evidence to suggestb that the Bible is in any way supernatural in origin? I think that there is. We could do 100 issues on the subject, but one thing leaps out here. It is the remarkable unity of the Bible. It was written over a period of about 1600 years (Moses wrote Genesis through Deuteronomy around 1450BC and John wrote Revelation in 90AD). It contains 66 books, written by 40 different authors.

Despite the fact that 40 people wrote it over a vast amount of time, it all tells the same story. Try putting ANY 40 people today in the same room and ask them each to write a book about the nature of God, the afterlife, and religious truth and I guarantee they would not agree. Yet, these 40 people, over 1500 years, tell ONE story about ONE God. The only explanation that my mind can accept is that there was ONE author behind the 40, inspiring them to write what they did. At this point some will say, �but what about the contradictions in the Bible?� The best response to that question is, �Which contradictions are you referring to?� That question will usually be met with silence.

The story then raises the issue of Hank's invisibility and his silence in modern times. On the subject of God�s invisibility, we must remember that matter does not create itself. Since we see a physical world made of matter, we know that the creator of that matter cannot and must not be matter Himself. He must be beyond matter, beyond time, and beyond space, for He created all these things. God is invisible because He has no body. If He did, He would be a creature, not the creator. As far as His silence in modern times, that is simply not true. In fact, God speaks directly to human hearts today far more than He did in Bible times, for prior to Christ, believers did not have the Holy Spirit living in their hearts. The Holy Spirit was reserved for a select few prophets and kings, and God would speak to them and they would speak to the people. That is not so today. If a person puts their faith and trust in God through Jesus Christ they are able to talk personally and daily with God through prayer. We can speak directly to God, and He speaks (usually in our hearts rather than in our ears) to us.

Would you like to hear the voice of God in your heart? If so then you need to do four things. 1. You need to accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior. 2. You need to ask God to speak to you. 3. You need to take time to be quite and listen to Him. 4. You need to be willing to obey Him. Even if you are a skeptic it would be great for you to pray a prayer like, �God, if you are there, I�d really like to know. If you want to have a relationship with me, please show me how.�

If God really isn�t there then you haven�t lost anything, and if He is then perhaps you might find eternal life.

Don't forget that it could've been dictated by aliens, to control manking with belief. Religious conflicts around the world and such feed them with negative emotional energy. Religion was NOT the creation of manking because they had nothing better to do, it was suggested by the forces that hover over us in shiny metal disks. By the way, anyone who saw an alien 2000 years ago or a whole army land in shiny flying disks, WILL think it is GOD or ANGELS... they had no concept of extra terrestrials and other planets. Think about this carefully before you go on with the idea of it being "God".

Because you people don't know me, I'll have to add this. I DID accept Jesus at one point and I cried my eyes out and I told God to please give me a sign, a message, ANYTHING... etc. Then everything a little "weird" or "coincidental" that I saw afterwards I interpreted as a sign from God or Jesus that I was accepted. That lasted a few months, then I was sucked into Spirituality. I vowed that THAT is what the truth really is. I was absolutely convinced that we cannot understand God and His ways and just need to accept things on faith, and I was a blind, TOTAL follower of this religious thing.

Then, as I mentioned in another thread, something big happened to me. I saw the truth, and once you see that, ANY CONCEPT of religion/belief/faith becomes LUDICROUS! It's like seeing someone's mom write "FROM SANTA" on their present, and then have the kid try to convince you that SANTA is real and I just need to believe. Of course THAT alone doesn't demonstrate that Santa isn't real, but the only REASON the kid thinks he is real is because his Mom says so, and his presents say so. He has no other reason to believe that. His reasons are a complete lie, an illusion.

Once you see the actual reality and truth, it is absolutely logical, makes perfect sense, and is absolutely impossible to ever again go back, unless you erase the memory of what you've learned. That is why I am now what I am, after being a DEVOUT religious catholic, and afterwards a DEVOUT spiritualist.

I now understand that I first had to LEARN what is false, and UNDERSTAND IT, in order to learn the truth and see the LIES for what they really are, lies. It was an intentionally induced learning process. And it has only begun.


[Edited on 20-1-2004 by lilblam]

Despite the fact that 40 people wrote it over a vast amount of time, it all tells the same story.

No, it's not, it's quite a few different stories... Also, it's an edited collection (and edited numerous times at that)...to force it all to mesh together (which it doesn't).

If you're really looking for inconsistencies in the Bible, just look at how many times Jesus was said to visit Jerusalem (ranges from 0 to many, depending on the book author). Look at how God is described as a kind and loving being...yet at the same time, he smote the first born children of Egypt dead as one of the ten plagues....hardly a "loving" action. Don't even get me started on the "Tree of Knowledge" bit, hehe....

The Bible is rife with inconsistencies...not just in it's account of certain facts, but right down to God's own nature (as each author saw him differently...some as kind and loving, others as full of fire and brimstone...)

The original (as well as the George Burns story), is a great little piece....Thanks for that...and very refreshing.

Originally posted by lilblam
Don't forget that it could've been dictated by aliens, to control manking with belief. Religious conflicts around the world and such feed them with negative emotional energy. Religion was NOT the creation of manking because they had nothing better to do, it was suggested by the forces that hover over us in shiny metal disks. By the way, anyone who saw an alien 2000 years ago or a whole army land in shiny flying disks, WILL think it is GOD or ANGELS... they had no concept of extra terrestrials and other planets. Think about this carefully before you go on with the idea of it being "God".

Yes, if religion has always been like it has been today then maybe I could beleive it. However, the church of today is totally different that the original church as defined in Acts. There was no concept of religion in the bible it was a concept of fellowship in the lord.

BTW if it was aliens then why would they allow more than one religion if they wanted to control? If it was to control then only one religion should be permitted. In the history of mankind there has always been more than one religion so saying that aliens invented it as a form of control has no basis unless you have 2000 different alien races battling for people to worship them.

Religious conflicts around the world and such feed them with negative emotional energy.

And how do you know this? Did some alien come down and give you this information? Or perhaps you are just seeking a way to discount the exsistence of a "God"

But it cant be wrong because number 7 PLAINLY states that everything hank says is right cant you heathin bastards understand this

If he's so easily discountable, why not! God discounts himself, without my help!

Besides, the need for many religions is to keep us fighting over them.. didn't it work? And if there is only ONE God, what's with all the different Gods and different religions? Surely he could come down and straighten this mess out, after billions of people died in religious wars... it'd only take ONE short visit.. but nah he'd prefer to see the slaughter as the energy of fear, confusion, and war feeds him.

[size=10]HANK!



*puckers up*.....

Originally posted by BlackJackal

Originally posted by lilblam
Don't forget that it could've been dictated by aliens, to control manking with belief. Religious conflicts around the world and such feed them with negative emotional energy. Religion was NOT the creation of manking because they had nothing better to do, it was suggested by the forces that hover over us in shiny metal disks. By the way, anyone who saw an alien 2000 years ago or a whole army land in shiny flying disks, WILL think it is GOD or ANGELS... they had no concept of extra terrestrials and other planets. Think about this carefully before you go on with the idea of it being "God".

Yes, if religion has always been like it has been today then maybe I could beleive it. However, the church of today is totally different that the original church as defined in Acts. There was no concept of religion in the bible it was a concept of fellowship in the lord.

BTW if it was aliens then why would they allow more than one religion if they wanted to control? If it was to control then only one religion should be permitted. In the history of mankind there has always been more than one religion so saying that aliens invented it as a form of control has no basis unless you have 2000 different alien races battling for people to worship them.

Religious conflicts around the world and such feed them with negative emotional energy.

And how do you know this? Did some alien come down and give you this information? Or perhaps you are just seeking a way to discount the exsistence of a "God"

And besides, the only reason you kiss Hank's ass is because you're afraid he'll kick the # out of you. That, and you want your million dollars. No one knows if Hank's good for it, or if there even is a Hank, but Hank wrote it down himself and said he's real so it must be true.

Originally posted by BlackJackal
We could do 100 issues on the subject, but one thing leaps out here. It is the remarkable unity of the Bible. It was written over a period of about 1600 years (Moses wrote Genesis through Deuteronomy around 1450BC and John wrote Revelation in 90AD). It contains 66 books, written by 40 different authors.

Despite the fact that 40 people wrote it over a vast amount of time, it all tells the same story. Try putting ANY 40 people today in the same room and ask them each to write a book about the nature of God, the afterlife, and religious truth and I guarantee they would not agree. Yet, these 40 people, over 1500 years, tell ONE story about ONE God. The only explanation that my mind can accept is that there was ONE author behind the 40, inspiring them to write what they did. At this point some will say, �but what about the contradictions in the Bible?� The best response to that question is, �Which contradictions are you referring to?� That question will usually be met with silence.

Not to totally debunk that statement, and not to offend in any way, but the stories in the bible from so many people ARE NOT consistent. Some things are not even consistent from one single author. Taken from Biblical Contradictions

God good to all, or just a few?
PSA 145:9 The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.
JER 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.

Who is the father of Joseph?
MAT 1:16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
LUK 3:23 And Jesus himself began to be about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, which was the son of Heli.

Who was at the Empty Tomb? Is it :
MAT 28:1 In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre.
MAR 16:1 And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him.

JOH 20:1 The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.

Is Jesus equal to or lesser than?
JOH 10:30 I and my Father are one.
JOH 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

There are many more at the provided link.

Blessed Be

[Edited on 20-1-2004 by ImAlreadyPsycho]

What a mess�

RELIGION

1 a : the state of a religious b (1) : the service and worship of God or the supernatural (2) : commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance
2 : a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices
3 archaic : scrupulous conformity
4 : a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith

There is nothing wrong with religion. Everyone have his religion.

CHURCH

1 : a building for public and especially Christian worship
2 : the clergy or officialdom of a religious body
3 : a body or organization of religious believers: as a : the whole body of Christians b : DENOMINATION c : CONGREGATION
4 : a public divine worship
5 : the clerical profession