Cyber Bullying

This is a growing trend that I'm sure people around the internet world are experiencing.

Canadian newspaper:

Teenage Bullying

You don't have to be face-to-face in the school yards any more to feel the pangs of being picked on.

I worry not only about the ones perpetuating the negative behaviors but also the recipients.

Built up anger, frustration, and un-harnassed energies could result in...

Well...reading the papers; watching the news, we all see the reprecussions around us.

Thoughts?

Instead of using fists, knives, etc, teenagers are taking their bullying to the 'internet playground', and are using the keyboard as their weapon of choice.



[edit on 19-4-2007 by TheDuckster]

Bullying, in any way, shape, or form, is a despicable act that has no place in our society. It is a tough one to handle though. Too often the bully him or herself is a victim as well. Whether it is a alcoholic household, abusive, or just negligent, they too may be a victim. In an attempt to gain some sort of twisted satisfaction in their life, they inflict this harm that they feel on a regular basis onto some other unsuspecting soul. It really is a case of no empathy if you ask me. They cringe at the thought of being put through this ordeal, yet they fail to understand that they have the ability to prevent others from dealing with this same torturous hell.

When I was in high school, and the few years that followed, there were a lot of suicides in my community. We are talking a population of about 20,000 people, and yet teenagers were offing themselves on a pace of about one a month. The community was in an uproar over what was happening, and nobody could really peg the cause. But any one who attended school, or did not have both of their eyes taped shut, could see that each individual who had taken their life was the victim of bullying over many, many years.

The schools, the community, the parents, and the administrators did nothing. While my peers killed themselves, our schools banned smoking. While nobody could smoke on the premises, the bullying continued. The bullying continued and more young people took their lives.

I still hold a deep resentment for the Administrators and Educators in my high school. They chose to remain ignorant to what was happening before them, and a lot of people took their lives due to it. I know we all make our own decisions, and we are responsible for our decisions, but these young boys and girls were pushed into a corner that had no escape. They defended the non-smokers rather than the victims of bullying. The persecuted the smokers, rather than the bullies.

Chisler,

VERY inciteful. VERY discerning.

I'm doing some heavy duty thinking on what you posted.

I read your profile, wayyyyyy back, regarding your involvement with the youths, and just now thinking how you are able to handle situations involving bullying.

From what you just described above, I'm floored!

It's so true what people say about: "until it hits close to home, then the meaning becomes more a part of you".

I was blessed/lucky/whatever you want to call it, that I had never been in situations like you described (though there were people close to me that experienced bullying).

On a personal note:

10 years ago my son was diagnosed with Osteo Genic Sarcoma - Bone Cancer in his left knee. He's 17 now.

After Chemo, we were given only 2 options.

1. Above knee amputation
2. Van-ess rotational plasty

Either way, there was to be some form of amputation involved. We opted for #2.

Recovery/rehabilitation is hard enough on someone so young to go through, let alone 'self-image', that my son had to retrain his mind-set about.

What followed there-after was the most disgusting form of bullying towards my son that God ever put breath in.

Neighborhood children and some classmates took to singling out my son, because of his physical differences and if it wasn't for the knock on my door from this one kind soul, to inform me that my son was 'beaten and thrown into a dumpster'...thrown away like a piece of garbage trash.

My son ended up back in Sick Kids in Toronto for a 2nd surgery to reconstruct his leg AGAIN.

Oh... the authorities were involved, school, and everyone else I could get my claws into. I was sick to my stomach and seething. (Too long a story to post)

My son today has come a long way, not only physically, mentally, but socially, and otherwise.

He will always have 'scars' on his body, but bullying did a helluvalot of damage to his insides - like cancer did.

These are the scars that nobody can see...
...because they are on the inside.

Saddened by your post, TheDuckster. I know that's not why you wrote it, but it takes the breath away to hear about what happened to your son. Glad to hear he's made it through (and you too).

Read Chissler's post and again, found it hard to believe.

While I was sitting here, it occurred to me that we seldom hear about mega-rich and influential people being bullied. What does that say about us or rather about the bullies?

I'm predicting someone may well post after this to point out that *plenty* of mega-rich are subjected to bullying. They may claim that Bill Gates is bullied via criticism, or this or that nonentity-celebrity is 'bullied' by the paparazzi. As far as I'm concerned, that comes with the territory. The mega-rich and powerful are able to hire others to contend with the flak: rarely do the mega-rich find themselves confronted face to face with the sort of bullies under discussion here.

In another thread in the forums about bullying, virtually all contributors detailed the bullying to which they have been subjected, so I won't go into detail about my life, other than to say I've had such wide and prolonged personal experience of verbal, physical, emotional and gang bullying that for a long while it was one of the few 'norms' in my life.

As consequence, I can spot them a mile away.

To begin with, when I was young, bullies rendered me speechless, literally. I'd go numb with pain and disbelief. Often, I'd feel as if I were hovering outside and above myself. Being 'inside' was obviously too painful to handle. At other times I'd be ablaze, mortified, way past tears -- at others beaten, sore and utterly alone. It's cumulative, as those who've been through it will confirm. It's like carrying a load of lead in your gut, on your shoulders, on your face.

I'm quite sure it contributes to youth suicide. Not ONLY youth suicide either. People in their mid-20's and 30's quite often are still struggling to throw that lead-weight off. An incident that becomes the final straw can quite often cause them to finally say: 'Enough. Good bye.' Those who work with or live with them claim -- honestly enough -- that they 'can't understand' or explain why someone seemingly adjusted/successful/outwardly happy would just kill themselves out of the blue. But there are always reasons and bullying in all forms, past and present, is a large contributing factor.

Yes, it's a good thing to put bullying and bullies in the spotlight. Anything that can reduce the pain inflicted on victims is to be sought.

The thing is though, bullying has *always* been here. Bullying has as many forms and faces as there are grains of sand on a beach.

Most of us will be prey to it at some point in our lives, even though we may not always realise it. 'Fashion', for example, is a form of bullying. My son was picked on by a gang including his best friends for turning up to gym class without the obligatory 'Nike' sneakers. Children are bullied for having red hair, or freckles, or a speech impediment, or the 'wrong' type of school-case, 'wrong' accent, 'wrong' address, 'wrong' height or weight, 'wrong' academic pr sporting abilities, etc.

With the greatest will in the world, we still will not be able to eradicate bullying (although hopefully we'll be able to reduce it substantially through concerted effort and education).

So what can we do?

Perhaps the focus on bullying needs to be two-pronged: educate our children (and ourselves, our families) how to COPE with bullies at the same time we attempt to appeal to bullies' better natures ?

The fact that so many who've contributed to 'bully' threads in these forums alone have been bullied, indicates they're survivors: they made it through and they're still standing.

As humans that's what we do best: survive.

I'm sure we welcome all and every suggestion from those who've survived bullying --- regarding their coping-strategies, their success stories, their 'eureka' moments.

Because THESE are what we need to hear and learn from.

The fact they're 'survivors' tips' indicates they work !

We're not going to be able to protect our children or even ourselves from bullying experiences. Humans are natural bullies. Bullying has remained an inherent part of humankind since it first climbed down from the trees. But we CAN learn and teach re: how to cope, survive and emerge with least damage.

Marines are bullied during training and often throughout their service, as are sailors, pilots, police-recruits, clerks and juniors working part-time at McDonald's. Depending upon their personality and character, such bullying can tip them over the edge or turn them into world-beaters.

So we need to know those coping-strategies, because bullying -- like death and taxes -- is probably here to stay.

So how did YOU survive the bullying you endured?

Did you fight through with your tongue, your mind or your fists? Or was it imagination, reading, drawing, golf, cooking which saved you for another day?

How do you cope with Cyber-bulling? What tips do you offer your children, re: Cyber and other bullying ?

Whatever survivors are able to contribute will almost certainly help someone, somewhere. This thread could be the lifeline that saves a stranger

a reply to: TheDuckster

Now 7 years later, it continues to be a very much growing trend. To the point that most celebrities no matter what they do are getting threats in the form of cyber bullying messages. They get hurt and offended by it because it is the peoples perception in them that allows them to be successful.

I agree with allowing the cyber bullying, besides links or pictures to disturbing material anything shall allowed to be said. I appreciate that Youtube is still allowing people to have full control over language. It is the biggest social networking site in the world and people have 100% freedom to say what they want to say. This has never happened before.

We did not know that we ourselves would be influenced in cyber bullying and tempted. We did not know that our direct world around us was going to go crazy with words, saying whatever and anything at any time. It came out to be, that our own world is like a state of mind below the norm because anyone who would slip, they would psychologically pounce on that state of mind.

We have to focus on Freedom. Yes maybe a large percent of them are young, but they are not all young, I would not say a large percent. A man came on television about it and he was your average guy. Maybe someone can teach the way instead of cyber bullying.

The thing about cyber bullying, is that the roots of cyber bullying have strictly to do with a joke. It is really a fascination with testing the thin line between serious and sarcasm. People like to test that barrier. That is the reason why people say it is better to have thick skin when interacting with these folk. But in reality it stemmed from a psychological state of mind that is sort of like fiction, it is a small form of entertainment to the individual, it will make "their mind giggle."

It is also a fascination and amusement to share your opinion with other people, this stems from dopamine being released from the brain, which makes one feel good. It is a social thing - some scientist can say it is a nuerochemical reaction based on a physical thing but I am suggesting it is also a spiritual thing.

Beware that when you are going to share, you will have to make a decision to either face people will negative feedback or avoid their feedback. If you do not face them I would suggest not looking at your reply screen or your inbox if messages are being sent there, because in order to avoid creating negative energy in oneself it means that there must be No Mental Connection between the activity and the person acted to. I can hardly say their energy can have an effect because of the distance between the individual, but a person is a person and that is spiritual - the physical explanation doesn't explain enough.

You are correct,bullying IS a despicable act-for which I have absolutley zero tolerance.I am an empath/sensitive myself,who grew up in an extrememly abusive household,I had more on my plate since earliest childhood than many people could imagine-which is why I will Never accept the "abused" and "they themselves are victims" excuse or explanation.BECAUSE I went through so much pain and torment in various forms-i was loathe to ever inflict pain on another.Because I Knew how much abuse(of which bullying is but one example) hurt,how it Damaged-i was repulsed by it,and would never inflict it on another-instead I internalised it.NOT the best way to handle it,not by a Long shot-but I jolly well just hacked it without making my problem other people's problem too.If I could do it,believe ne,anyone can.Anyone.

And then of course there are the bullies who have no problems in their lives/past/background anyway.Just beyond contempt,weak,cowardly scum.

Bullies need to be stomped,and stomped hard,imo.No mercy for those that prey on others,in any form.What is needed is a global campaingn against bullying,it Is a global problem.The message needs to be sent loud and clear that anyone who abuses another,is not funny,cool,or because of a crappy life,entitled to visit their own misery on others-and those that do abuse/bully should be stigmatised as scum,the lowest of the low.

a reply to: chissler

a reply to: TheDuckster

Grow a thicker skin and quit being a wussy. Words don't mean #. That's what the problem is. I think it's people getting tired of being politically correct. I know I am. Internet troll hahahahahaha. I pity the new generation. My only hope is that most snap out of it before some word really hurts them.