Almost time for me to go to the Russian army

I have waited so long for this. It is almost time. I have lived an uneventful and unlucky life full of bad stuff, with the hope of someday going back to Russia and getting my dream career. Soon it is time. I will go to University this summer and right after summer it will be time. I have been training for this. It is all I can look forward to. I wish I could leave now, but if I do, it will be worse for me because I must have a backup job besides military. My talent is art so I'm taking summer classes at the Academy of Arts university san Fransisco (hopefully, if the government helps me enough, for neither me nor my family have any money) but I wish I could rewind this harsh times and get into military. I have nothing here, and outside the military I don't have much. My homies have dissappeared, I live alone all day, train and study. I don't even go to clubs no more. Real Estate isn't working out, especially since my best friend who was providing interested leads to us has "dissappeared", not much money in my pocket, as I struggle to get a simple art job by posting ads on craigslist, unsuccessfully, to at least make enough money to get myself a ticket to Russia. In Russia waiting for me will be a good friend and my grandfather, who was an officer in the Russian army. As soon as I get there I will find out how to get recruited into the Russian army. Once there I will finally live the life that I always wanted-one full of shooting, training, pain, fatigue, sometimes exciting things, sometimes sad things, perhaps combat, or even death, but I am ready, I have almost died many times already, when it is my time to go, it will be my time to go, but until I do go I will stand on my feet and stay strong, and enjoy army life and every second of it, no matter how hard. After army I don't know what I will do, I will stay in the army as long as possible, hopefully rise rank as far as possible, I will do it as long as possible, I guess after that will be an boring uneventful life of art, hopefully the degree in art will help me make at least enough to get a place to live and for food, I don't need anything else. Money doesn't mean a thing to me, though I'm finding it hard to get by without it, its sad that a piece of paper can ruin or lighten up people's lives, but I guess that's how it is. Throw a comment or advice if you'd like. Peace.

A thought just occured to me RS. If you are already in the US, why not just join the US armed forces if you wish to live a military lifestyle?

Whatever you do, I wish you the best. When you do get your wish, I will miss your posts and hope that you could at least write about your experiences, as I will post them to the board if you so desire.

Still, it seems you have this summer yet to go.

Thanks ben, you are a good friend, maybe we can exchange emails, so that during the times that I get to visit home from the army I will be able to send you an email and you can post it on ATS. In US, soldiers are allowed to use computers (I have a friend who just got back from Afghanistan, he kept in touch with me via myspace, he is Afghani and was a soldier/translator in Afghanistan), but I don't think that is so in Russia, at least last time I checked they only used postal mail, but who knows? Maybe they could be using computers by now, who knows.

The reason I'm going to Russian army is simple, Russia is my country, I love it very much and will never love any country more. I love all other countries alot, every single country and all their peoples of all races and religions and cultures, but Russia is my country and I love it and want to serve it. Many people have tried to unconvince me otherwise, told me not to go, but they were unsuccessful, some told me stories of the treatment, some told me other stories, but I am ready for what is to come, after all anything can happen anywhere, life is unpredictable. I was talking to my friend who is in his late 30s he said he payed the government not to put his brother in the military, then he told me about his experiences, he had to kill, it was some sort of combat against some sort of extremists betwean the Afghani and Chechen wars. He said he got grenade fragments close to his heart and all he has left from it is memories, waking up in cold sweat at night remembering it, he told me over and over not to go, but everything he told me that day I had thought about and knew, and I accept it, I already do wake up in cold sweat from stuff that's happened in my life. I do not like to kill, but I like to punish wrong-doers. If it comes down to it I am ready to kill those who threaten Russia. I talked to some Muslim friends once and they told me, who is right in a war? No one. Both committ crimes, the soldiers are just pawns, I said ok, but once I'm in warfare, I'm not actually killing a man who is following orders, I am actually killing someone who is at that moment threatening the life of me and my comrades. And why am I here in the first place? To protect and serve my country Russia, it is a shame so many leave there and hate it, Russia needs people like me, and my goal is to not go out there and kill and get killed, but to try to work for a better future for Russia. I have never until now started talking about my real point in life.. it is to make a better Russia, and a better world. One person will not change the world, but can spark the change. I will do my best, I will do what is in my ability and beyond. I am hoping to get through the military and go as high a rank as possible, get as much respect and support. Like my friend told me, the more people you know, the easier life is. If you know people in high positions, you are better off then a person who doesn't know this kinds of people. Then, as I work my art job I will see if it is possible to get a high government job, and the higher position I have the more I will be able to help. But I am not firmly holding on to this, because I know that betwean now and then something can get in my way, stop me from achieving that objective, so I live today, curious about tomorrow. And I am always expecting the worse, my personall motto is better expect the worse and get hit by something not so bad, then expect the best, and get hit by the worst.

And thanks to all who have got my back and support me, it is impossible for a sane human to live without support and help from peers. Thank you.

Yes, I do still have this summer left to go, in an unpredictable life, you cannot swear that something will happen, because you don't know what will happen by the time you reach your objective. The worst would be something bad happening in my already troubled family, or something happening to me, that could ruin my plans, but I will stay strong and continue to train and prepare, count the days.

I do not fear death, I fear leaving earth without having done something good, and if I do as much today, I can leave the earth another day without worry. I will always do my best.

I can fully understand your support for the homeland. I tend to look beyond patriotism and think of all men being equal, and with a sense of spirituality I know that we are not at the point where men can sit face to face and shake hands in agreement. I wish this weren't so, but I do believe that it is just for our time for people to have opposition; the militaries just do the bidding.

As a soldier, it is especially important to remind yourself of this fact that while we may hold allegiance to different sides - which in my mind are not that different - we are all alike. As served in the military, I understand your zeal even though it is possible that you could end up fighting a war against the country I live. I personally do not condemn for I understand your plight and the authority you will soon befall once you do enlist. Our soldiers do the same thing.

Yes we are very much alike. I like Americans alot. Alot of them are very great people. I have many American friends, and I have friends from just about every part of the world, from Africa, to Asia, Middle East, Australia, West and East Europe, etc.

I live in an area where there are alot of Russians, so its like a Russ-American community, and we get along very well. Yeah, I hope we don't go to war against America, and I know America hopes the same thing, we can only hope that our governments make the best choices, for even if we are not enlisted, if war breaks out, we will be involved one way or another, so it all depends on the government to make the right decisions so that its people, enlisted or not, do not have to suffer from its mistakes.

we need to make a support group all of us guis that wanna go military carreer(: i also wanna go.first ima join my bulgarian professional army then ill try to join some special ops of another country...
russian spetznaz just sounds so cool(: