posted on Dec, 24 2003 @ 01:12 PM
new terrorist threat:
NEW YORK, NY (AP) -- At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board
a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.
Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math
instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult,
indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite
shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y," and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns," we know
they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the great Greek philanderer isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is
intent on protracting us from these math- dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.
These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made
our point, and drew the line. These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen
unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.
As our Great Leader would say, Read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of--though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered
and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.