reply to post by xtr3m3paranoia
My son was first given meds in 2nd grade for being ' hyper ' and not paying attention in class. Then it turned into an Aspergers diagnosis later
at around 10 or so, very similar to your experience. He had been put on and taken off so many meds that I cannot remember them all.
Now he is 13 and having real problems, many of the Aspergers symptoms are not so bad, although challenging, but he has now been diagnosed as well
with ODD, PDD, ADHD and Aspergers as well as unknown psycho type traits, although those are minimal...some mild paranoia about peoples intentions.
I ws 13 years older than my wife, and this child was our third and final child. I was 43-44 when he was born, older than the average father, and
they say that might be a factor as well. My other two kids are fine, and although I blame the shots and preservatives to a degree, I cannot say what
happened in him, whether it would have happened despite any other factors or not.
He does not show traits of autism to a great degree, except that lately he has been spending most of his time alone in a room, rocking back and
forth constantly while listening to his MP3. I do not think that it is autism related, and his doctor says it might be the ADHD hyperness coming
He does not comprehend body language at all. He hates to be touched, especially by people that are not family, and he answers and speaks in
monotones, expressionless, and flat ..He can verbalize when he wants to although under any stress he starts stuttering, but when calm that is not a
factor at all. He has no empathy for others: If he saw you get hit by a car he would probably burst out laughing at the sight of a body flipping threu
the air..it would simply not occur to him that he should be horrified: If he does not experince it, then he does not relate to it affecting someone
He is totally self centered and only concerned about what he wants and needs. He has to be reminded and bugged every day all day to pick up his
clothes he drops when done with them, brush his teeth, etc. He would not take care of basic hygiene if allowed to let it go. He is suspisious and
literal: The first time he was big enough to ride in the front seat of our car, he read the warning label for the air bags and refused to sit there,
because the label said " May cause injury or death " he said " Why would I sit there if it can kill me?"
Not to long ago, he asked me if the cat's ( we have two indoor kitties) had told me anything about him. I was totally in the dark about what he
meant. Then, I recalled that long ago, he was staying upstairs while we were downstairs and I said, in jest " Hey, if you do anything wrong , the
kitty cats are going to tell me, you cannot get away with anything". He actually thought that somehow the cats were able to tell me what he was up
to, and obviously he had a guilty conscience about it as he was curious if he was in trouble. He knew the cats had seen him and that we had not!!
I had to explain that cats cannot talk and that it was a joke. BUT, he is a real genius with academics and computers, etc. he does well in school
and never missed a grade, but cannot socialize at all. He has never had a pal, or been invited to a party, nothing. he knows he is different and feels
that others can tell by looking at him, which is totally not true. If some other kid looks at him too long he might very well challenge him and use
bad words to do it. Consequences mean nothing; it is too late and impulsive behavior cannot be controlled.
He cannot understand that adults can have more things than him; age means nothing. He wants all things that he can get, and is always trying to be
' grown up ' , yet quite immature in almost all ways.He does not like to be hugged, and is wooden and does not return affection. If qa non family
member were to topuch him, he might well get very uncomfortable, or even accuse an adult of being a ' pedophile '. He does not understand why people
want to touch him in good ways; after geting the lecture about ' bad touching ' all kids get, he associated almost all touching with bad intent.
That is not easy for a family, and to not get or be able to give affection to a child is not fun. He is very sensitive to touch, sound, taste and
hearing. He does not do well in groups and does best when alone and not distracted. He needs one on one at school, which is almost impossible to get.
He looks fine, a big strapping kid with good looks, so people expect far more from him than some child with Downs or a retarded child or a wheelchair
bound child...but his disabilities are just as serious, but not quite as limiting in some few ways.
I am facing the facts with terrible sadness: My son will probably always have to live in a group home after I die or in a place where he can be
helped to maintain his care and health. He could work a regular job if conditions were right, he can master a computer game or complex situation
easily..they say that Aspergers kids may be one step away from true genius..yet are not as able to deal with the real world issues. They need a
perfect setting to thrive, and those are almost impossible to find without vast resources.
He now takes 4 major meds a day: Depakote and Strattera and Clonidine and Abilify..although I have dropped the Abilify to half as I have a
gutfeeling that it is causing more harm than good. Meds are a nightmare' the side effects can mask or be the same as original symptoms, thus one
never knows if we are seeing a kid that is nothing but the result of all those meds creating the problems, or is he has then without any meds. I want
at some point to take him off ALL meds and see who the hell he really is.
If it turns out that all he is is an Asspergers kid, then he really doesn't need a lot of meds, just social adjustments and care. it may be that
the meds have created the majority of symptoms..one never knows, and that is the hard part. Nothing is ever really definite, the doctors are all
hesitant to make predictions, and we take it one day at a time.
I guess thats all anyone can do, but for a kid with these disabilities, one day can be a very very long affair. All the best to you and your
precious child, and always demdn kore and more from the doctors, ask question, challenge them, and do not be afraid to take charge and question meds
as well as dosages. Best of luck.