Why would they probe There?

All humor aside, I recently had a colonoscopy, and it got me wondering what the hell aliens would be looking for down there. There's a number of other, more efficient ways to determine just about every single vital sign.

About the only thing you'd ever go...in there...for would be to look for specific abnormalities in the colon or intestines, and it's not like you can examine that area unless it's very very clean, which never gets mentioned in those abductee stories.

And, okay, let's say I'm wrong, and it turns out that quite a few "probed" abductees have mentioned being "cleaned" first, why the hell would aliens cross the galaxy to check for gastric abnormalities in humans? What, did one have a pet human that took sick and the vet needed to compare the pet's innards as the "wild" humans?

I ask this, in all seriousness, open minded, but rather skeptical:

Why would an alien probe a human there?




Mod Edit: title

[edit on 22-9-2006 by kinglizard]

why i dunno but i bet ya they do it to implant something

Well, perhaps they do the same thing we do with animals.

Maybe they want to know what we eat, and by taking samples,
they can determine it.


Honestly, I don't believe that actually happens, than agina I don't
believe 99% of abduction cases either.

Originally posted by iori_komei
Honestly, I don't believe that actually happens, than agina I don't
believe 99% of abduction cases either.

I'm well aware of the ol' "alien anal-probe" from movies to TV shows, cartoons etc.... I've read many reputable books on the subject of UFOs and Aliens and I have NEVER, that I can recall, come across any account of an anal-probing. Maybe those reports are out there but I haven't seen them.

I believe in aliens... and I'm not totally against the idea that humans have been 'abducted' by aliens before. But I think the majority of abduction-type events are government operations... and those guys are all about anal-probing!

Thank you for your answers. I wondered about both of those things. Either implanting a "tag" or to figure out what we ate.

But see, a tag in the intestine doesn't make sense. The body would constantly attempt to eject it, and it could cause serious diverticulitis or even complete blockage. Besides, it would make much more sense to place it along the brain or spine where nerve impulses could be read and interpreted. A "destructo" device wouldn't make sense either, as, once again, brain and stem would make the most sense.

Now... if for some reason or another our colons were ideal environments for some sort of incubation of their young, or something they needed to harvest, it would make sense, but if humans were being harvested for something like that, why would they bother putting any humans back afterward? If they had that little disregard for our feelings in the matter, and decided they didn't like the guts they saw, they shouldn't give much thought to just jettisoning us, or reusing our proteins for whatever. Less risk that way too.

And then, if they wanted to figure out what we eat... I suppose, but one would think there'd be less risk in finding human droppings than there would a human, especially in the more remote areas that are less likely to see an alien in the first place, and less likely to have plumbing.

Still, figuring out what people eat is the only real sensable theory I can think of either, but I don't recall any "probing" testimonials claiming they were offered various foods before or afterward, and one would think that'd be a natural step in "discovery" of what humans eat.

From medical information I've seen, humans have a symbiotic bacteria swimming around in our intentines. Unfortunately, I lost my reference to the specific name of the little germs. But we live in true symbiosis with them...They break down foods so that our bodies can absorb more nutrients (In short, we couldn't digest any solid food without them).

In the cases of someone contracting "stomach flu", a side affect is diarrhea which tends to "wash out" much of that bacteria & exaspirates digestive problems. Doctors might recommend eating yogurt (with active cultures) to replenish that bacteria.

Perhaps the aliens need to probe for such samples that they couldn't get from finding human droppings (the bacteria dies quickly once it leaves the body: symbiotic link, remember?) or by using "non-invasive" examinations. If they were merely looking for what we ate, even modern scientists examine corporliths from found-samples, so aliens shouldn't have any reason to probe for that kind of info. With such samples that can only be gained by probing, aliens could get a better idea of human biology & the digestive process.

However, if the aliens are looking for volunteers, leave me out of it!

Originally posted by MidnightDStroyer
Doctors might recommend eating yogurt (with active cultures) to replenish that bacteria.

Perhaps the aliens need to probe for such samples that they couldn't get from finding human droppings (the bacteria dies quickly once it leaves the body: symbiotic link, remember?) or by using "non-invasive" examinations.

A very good point. A very good point indeed. And one that suddenly put me in to mind of a very very disturbing page...

(WARNING: Graphic) Parasites, Worms, and Egg Sacks in the Colon

Again, please heed the warning. This page is about a colonic cleanser, but the testimonials about the worms and eggacks scared the everlovin' crap outta me. I'm actually having trouble sleeping since reading it. (disclaimer: I am not, by the way, endorsing this product in any way, shape, or fashion, as I've not even tried it or ordered it. And there's pictures, so be...ummm...prepared.)

So what if they weren't after the flora (those symbiant bateria you mentioned), but after the fauna (the scary worms and eggs).

Well maybe there horny perverts.

Originally posted by 7Ayreon
Well maybe there horny perverts.

Then why would they use a probe and not...ummm... something with nerves on the end?

I realize your response was likely a joke, but even so it's a possibility that I'd also thought of. I can't imagine aliens would find us any more sexually attractive than themselves. There may be a couple of really oddball aliens, but surely not all of them. It'd be like the human race suddenly finding apes or dophins preferable to other humans... it'd just... no... life isn't wired that way as a norm.

U KNOW THAT LADY FROM SPACE WHO was walking funny. maybe she got anal probed?

The most interesting theory i´ve heard so far is the one sleeper wrote. It´s really a cleanup procedure due to abductees "crapping their pants" because of intense fear under the abduction. Instead of using toilet paper or rinsing water they got some hightech device which takes care of the substance.

I know, i know, pretty far out there but IMHO still more plausible than poking a shiny metal thing up there for whatever dirty reason. I mean, some humans do it for fun but i seriously doubt anyone travels across the gulf of space to do it.

I say it´s about cleaning up the mess and not about rectal examination. I´m sure they got more sophisticated ways of gathering information.

when the alien was probing me in the butt I could feel the device opening and closing as if it was trying to grab something. I asked the alien "What are you trying to grab with that thing" and he said: "Lense" -------"Camera".

I read about a woman who had wires attached to her butt and then the alien said to her, 'Now tell me what you see".

There was also a woman who said the aliens touched her body with a device which made different tones and then put a probe in her butt and read the results on a monitor next to the bed.

They also told me they have 7 devices inside each person.

I think they are advanced technology which we cannot comprehend because they operate outside of our known laws of physics. Like one person had an incision made to remove an implant and the implant moved and went deeper. That happened to me recently. I felt my ear and there was a pea sized object just under the skin inside the outer ear area. I put my hand straight back to feel it again and the object was gone? It moved instantly when it knew I had detected it.

So it's possible the implants move around intelligently inside us and look through our eyes and hear through our ears etc?


The aliens are so advanced that once you get to know them you realize humans are some type of insignificant creature kept alive for their purpose.

Originally posted by thelibra
Why would an alien probe a human there?

Maybe because mankind acts so dumb, that they guessed that's where our brains are?

Based on theory their incapable of reproducing due to gene/dna degredation. Most pictures of extraterrestrials have no apparent reproductive organs. So perhaps their experimenting in that area that holds the key to restorting such, and it could be the area that's responsible for the degredation. Im speaking hypathetically and I'm almost certain I'm incorrect.

Why are they all doing this seperately these tests? Its like they could need just one human to solve their problems or one examination and that is it. Are they doing this independently? It seems like they have not idea of solidarity and makes me wonder how did they progress? Does the first one to solve their problems get a prize or does that particular group of Aliens blackmail the rest? Seems to me they maybe be advanced but not cleaver.

Whch leads me to think they are part of the earth in another dimention where the devil also exists and his Fallen Angels.

[edit on 22-9-2006 by The time lord]

Originally posted by The time lord
Whch leads me to think they are part of the earth in another dimention where the devil also exists and his Fallen Angels.

Based on the many theories out there, specifically regarding the typical 'grey' aliens, It's my best guess that they're droids.... little drones that were constructed but integrated with organic tissue. I think they're technically sentient life-forms but do not exist or experience on the same level that we do, which might be one reason that they're apparently so interested in us.

But I think they're virtually mindless.... I think they operate like ants and are following orders according to a higher directive or goal, which I can't even begin to speculate on.

I think they were specifically made for long-term existence in space and space/time-travel. I think they are of another dimension or universe and through these bodies, whatever civlization or intelligence is behind these aliens, they use them to penetrate into our reality. I think UFOs are not primarly for space-travel, but actually dimension-travel (which would include time-travel). I theorize that these aliens are somehow mentally integrated into these craft and that's how they operate them. I think they're unable to stay in our universe for long periods of time but they manage to stay just close enough to our reality so as to observe us and/or this planet while remaining largely undected.

[edit on 23-9-2006 by firebat]

Maybe aliens dont have rectums, they expell their waste through their mouths, in which case they would be very interested in why we have the ability to expel waste through a more suitible passage.

Originally posted by chris01621
Maybe aliens dont have rectums, they expell their waste through their mouths, in which case they would be very interested in why we have the ability to expel waste through a more suitible passage.

I think they absorb nutrients through their skin.... if that were true, I'd assume waste might be expelled in a similar way. But who knows...

It's a basic herd management practise. Fecal examinations for parasites that can effect the value of the meat.