Terrorist Threat Levels

We British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and
have raised our security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved'. Soon though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross". We Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz of 1940
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised
from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued
a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed the white flag factory in Paris, effectively
paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy too, has increased her alert level from "Shout loudly and
excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,
"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful arrogance" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".