Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Originally posted by Dances With Angels
They're only words.

There is no such thing as only words. Words inform and build up or destroy.

Matthew 15:[11] Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

Originally posted by Rasobasi420

It's like talking about how awesome Superman is, and using a Superman comic to prove it.

One difference, superman isn't real.

What is with the three posts in a row?

Also, Superman is as Real as God is he not? He is in paper, he is in movies, he has a TV show, there is more proof of Superman then God.

So, one difference, God isn't real.

Originally posted by dbrandt

Originally posted by Dances With Angels
They're only words.

There is no such thing as only words. Words inform and build up or destroy.

Matthew 15:[11] Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

words are actually gibberish humanity uses to symbolize things. True form of communication comes from feelings or experience. That bible quote is true in the form of consciouness humanity is now in but when we decide to evolve, it is when we will realize that words are only words, not true meanings.

Okay, what about Paul Bunyon? He may have been a real person, but things were attributed to him that were not actually done by him. Maybe God was a real entity, but by no means omnipotent or omnicient.

Originally posted by Dances With Angels
aren't all people God's children??

That's what I've always believed....nothing in my heart says otherwise.

SO because people have different personalities and opinions and get offended by different little things I guess everyone here offends "Gods Children" sometimes.

No doubt. And sometimes we don't even know that we did. BUT hopefully we all try to avoid hurting someone's feelings needlessly, especially on a forum like ATS where it is often more important to prove a point rather than make a friend. :shk:

It hurts to hear the truth, sometimes about ourself, yet it is not love to withhold the truth from another who is unaware, if you feel conviction that it is the truth, and aren't saying it out of spite or ego.

Sometimes, when you're blind to something about yourself, the only way to see past it is to somehow be disturbed in complacency enough to search it out in your heart. I say this because it is that way with me, and I was particularly stubborn and oblivious to self. Luckily someone came along who loved me enough not to spare my feelings. And not only did I see things I had never seen of myself--which I was horrified to realize, I also learned that being offended, or feeling defensive, is a sure sign that there is an issue that wishes to remain hidden...

This is one funny topic hehe Thanks.

Originally posted by dbrandt

Originally posted by stalkingwolf
Interesting. You use a lower case F when refering to My Father , and expect me to
automatically accept your Father . YOU expect others to show respect to your beliefs, legends and myths but do not feel you need to respect others beliefs.

I submit for the courts inspection This thread.
I dont recall you being indignant over the Xian slander of the Wiccan beliefs.

I use capitals when talking about God to distinguish that He is God.

As far as the thread about wiccans. I find it offensive when someone say people's lives are of no value. People in real life have been murdered and eaten. That is disgusting and to make a joke of it is wrong. Even though I don't agree with wiccans beliefs, I know they are somone who Jesus died for, and He desires that they come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

in the name of wicca, very very few people have been killed
christianity takes the cake
remember the inquisition, a religious enforcement of ignorance
islam is a distant second (hasn't been around long enough)
judaism is probably close or maybe even more than islam (much older religion + accounts from the OT)

but, in combination, it's the same god, so they were all killed for the god of abraham.

dbrandt, you need to open your mind to the theologies of other religions, and to HUMOR

how do you know that god is NOT a flying spaghetti monster.

new addition

you depict jesus as a white man with long, light brown hair, when he clearly lived in an area where there were no people fitting that description.

I hate to break it to you, but some of those on there, though funny, aren't true.

I'm not a fundamentalist Christian in any way, but I know enough about Christianity to know better.

Before we begin, I'd like to clarify that the Bible, in reality, is no way a literal document. It is a book chock full of metaphors, moral lessons, and "double meanings".

Numero 9) When the Bible says "dirt", it does not mean literal "dirt". In fact, when it speaks of this, it is claiming something quite true. It has the same meaning as the popular Christian saying, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust". Ashes. That is key. Dirt equals ashes. When you are cremated at death, you become ashes. That is the ultimate sign of unity with the Earth and the natural elements of life.

Numero 8) The Trinity, or the three-parted God (Jesus, God, The Holy Spirit), is quite different than polytheism. To say otherwise is pure ignorance. They are ONE. Polytheism consists of multiple gods. The Holy Spirit is PART of God, just as Jesus is his son. Jesus is specifically named "The Son of God", and for good reason. He is not "God" in a sense, but his "son". He too is part of God, who is also connected with the Holy Spirit. To sum it up, they are one. To believe this is similiar to any definitive polytheistic belief is just denying the truth.

Numero 7) Though this may be true, I hate to break it to you, but Allah and God are the same thing. Allah translates into God. End of story.

Numero 6) When the Bible teaches of The Holy Spirit "impregnating" Mary, once again this is not to be taken literally. In many of the ancient Greek documents, including many of their famous plays/tragedies, the Greek gods were quite literally sleeping with those women. To think the Holy Spirit did anything close to that simply is manipulating the facts to your own end. The baby Jesus was given by God, there was is no sexual context involved with that whatsoever.

Numero 5) Not very funny.

Numero 4) This is a good one, and sadly is true of many fundamentalist Christians. But if you want to play that game, why not make a thread for fundamentalist Muslims, Jews, etc. I can see it now: "Number 4) You swear that by killing the innocent and carrying out the act of Jihad upon the infidels, as commanded by Mohammad, is the right thing to do. And you still believe your religion is the most loving and tolerant". Not very funny again. However, most Christians believe that you can be saved in the end through deeds, no matter what the religion.

Numero 3) Anybody who denies geology, biology, physics, history, and science obviously never graduated the fourth grade.

Numero 2) I wasn't aware that the answer rate of prayers was actually recorded. This one was quite simply tiresome.

Numero 1) Haha, prove this one to me and I might chuckle a bit.

/thread

[edit on 19-6-2006 by WeBDeviL]

Originally posted by WeBDeviL
Before we begin, I'd like to clarify that the Bible, in reality, is no way a literal document. It is a book chock full of metaphors, moral lessons, and "double meanings".

True, yet fundamentalists take it literally, and that's part of the joke.

Numero 9) When the Bible says "dirt", it does not mean literal "dirt". In fact, when it speaks of this, it is claiming something quite true. It has the same meaning as the popular Christian saying, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust". Ashes. That is key. Dirt equals ashes. When you are cremated at death, you become ashes. That is the ultimate sign of unity with the Earth and the natural elements of life.

And Yahweh God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living being.

Once again the fundamental belief is that God literally formed from the dust of the ground. THat's part of the thing about ID v. Eveolution.

Numero 8) The Trinity, or the three-parted God (Jesus, God, The Holy Spirit), is quite different than polytheism. To say otherwise is pure ignorance. They are ONE. Polytheism consists of multiple gods. The Holy Spirit is PART of God, just as Jesus is his son. Jesus is specifically named "The Son of God", and for good reason. He is not "God" in a sense, but his "son". He too is part of God, who is also connected with the Holy Spirit. To sum it up, they are one. To believe this is similiar to any definitive polytheistic belief is just denying the truth.

I don't think that was the point of the joke, I think they meant that the absurdity of believing in a pantheon of gods is equal to the absurdity of believing in one God, or a trinity.

Numero 7) Though this may be true, I hate to break it to you, but Allah and God are the same thing. Allah translates into God. End of story.

Unless I missed something, that was the joke, Web.

Numero 6) When the Bible teaches of The Holy Spirit "impregnating" Mary, once again this is not to be taken literally. In many of the ancient Greek documents, including many of their famous plays/tragedies, the Greek gods were quite literally sleeping with those women. To think the Holy Spirit did anything close to that simply is manipulating the facts to your own end. The baby Jesus was given by God, there was is no sexual context involved with that whatsoever.

Ancient Greek stories should be taken as literally as the bible. To believe in a birth brought about without sexual conception, through the power of the holy spirit, is just as absurd as believing Zeus gave birth to Athena through his skull.

Numero 5) Not very funny.

But true

Numero 4) This is a good one, and sadly is true of many fundamentalist Christians. But if you want to play that game, why not make a thread for fundamentalist Muslims, Jews, etc. I can see it now: "Number 4) You swear that by killing the innocent and carrying out the act of Jihad upon the infidels, as commanded by Mohammad, is the right thing to do. And you still believe your religion is the most loving and tolerant". Not very funny again. However, most Christians believe that you can be saved in the end through deeds, no matter what the religion.

Agreed, and that's why the fundies are funny. BTW Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and other eastern religions don't believe in an eternal hell, which is quite liberating.

Numero 3) Anybody who denies geology, biology, physics, history, and science obviously never graduated the fourth grade.

Damn Skippy

Numero 2) I wasn't aware that the answer rate of prayers was actually recorded. This one was quite simply tiresome.

I'm sure it wasn't meant that the percentage was that accurate, but you have to admit, they do use the "he answered my prayer for a turkey club sandwich" routine a lot.

Numero 1) Haha, prove this one to me and I might chuckle a bit.

To understand the bible in it's true context is to understand where it came from, who wrote it, and why. If your first, and unquestioning answer is always God, then chances are you won't really get it. Athiests look at the bible from a skeptical standpoint and are able to understand that it was people who wrote the bible for specific mean, and it is very unlikely that it is the 'word of god'

/thread

If it were only that easy.

[edit on 19-6-2006 by WeBDeviL]

The idea of a 'supernatural' God creating a 'natural' world is idiotic, IMO.

Very funny post Dances With Angels

How about these, not in any paticular order,

1. You believe The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one God in 3 distinct persons.
2. You believe mankind is seperated from God by our sin.
3. You believe Jesus' died and rose again for the remission of sins.
4. You have placed your faith in Jesus' completed work on the cross, and you now are forgiven and have eternal life.
5. You believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God.
6. You hunger for others to be saved.
7. You desire to see noone miss out on eternity with God.
8. You believe Jesus is coming again to rule and reign.
9. You believe that eternity with God will be a neverending life of getting to know who God is.
10. You believe that in eternity you will not be sitting around on a cloud playing a harp, but will be serving the Living God and will be doing work throughout the universe that is truly satisfying and enjoyable.
11. You believe that we cannot even imagine all God has planned for us in eternity.
12. You believe that you are a servant.
13. You believe that you were bought with a price.
14. You know that God is everything to you.
15. You believe that God is.
16. You believe that...........
oops..... I guess there's way more than 10!

I already did #16

#16 You walk in victory over the deceiver, knowing the battle is already won. You know your weapon and your defenses.

Originally posted by Sun Matrix

#16 You walk in victory over the deceiver, knowing the battle is already won. You know your weapon and your defenses.

17. You are grateful that Jesus was temporarily forsaken by the Father so that you would not have to be for all eternity.